Debi
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7136
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"My concern about a visitation schedule is if BM gets angry about you staying with him, that could backfire and she could withhold visitation and there's nothing dad could do about it. "
Yep, that is totally what's going to happen and when he goes to court for a set parenting time schedule she's going to have acohabitation clause thrown in there, or try her hardest. In the mean time the child is the one who will lose out in the tug of war between her parents.
I can't even address the "I stay over because she asks me too" statement because it's totally out there.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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NikkiL
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 644
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How can the mother claim she has an issue with it, when its been going on for 2.5 years? If she had a problem with it, she should have put an end to it, when it started. Who waits years to complain about their child sleeping in the same house/room with someone? Obviously the only thing that changed is that the couple is officially calling themselves a couple. BM is being ridiculous. If she has some moral problem with it, she should have said something YEARS ago.
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Avaya
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Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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I guess you never change your stance on anything; however some people do. What I thought was 'okay' 10 years ago isn't the same as what I think is okay today. I've changed my opinion on marriage, politics, religion, etc many times in my lifetime.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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NikkiL
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 644
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Oh I didnt know we were talking about me & you? I thought we were talking about the OP's situation which is for the last 2.5 years the mother has known that OP stays the night, and only now after they have said they are a couple is she having a problem. Nothing else has changed. OP specifically said she and her SO are still not sleeping together with the child in the house. They just announced they were a couple. Which the child is happy about. So whats the problem? A happy couple, who dont sleep together when the child is in the house? yeah..thats horrible. The mother should get right on that and start a court battle over it.
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Redlegg
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Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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I think a mother, or a father, regardless of custodial status, should have a say on whether on whether or not an unrelated adult should sleep with their young child. It is not some kind of right that fades away with time. From the sounds of it, maybe mom did not know, since they were "in the closet" now that they are out of the closet and now officially a couple, maybe mom feels differently about it. it could be a lot of different things, but the right to make tghese kinds of decisions should not be allowed to just fade away.....
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BeckaLeigh
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Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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Quite honestly, I would be more upset about you sleeping with the child than sleeping with dad in the same house. It just smacks me wrong.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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NikkiL
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 644
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When you get divorced, there are many things that you no longer have control over, that you feel you should. Doesnt mean you do. How many times has it been said on these boards, that you cant control the others parenting time? Im sure we could sit here and write things into the post that arent there but what does the post actually say? Nothing bad. Kids happy, OP and her SO are happy, no one has been accused of doing anything inappropriate with the child, No one is having <gasp> premaritial sex with the child in the home. The only one who, according to this post, is doing anything WRONG its the BM by making threats to interfere with the fathers parenting time. Should the OP stop sleeping in the same room with the child? Yes she should its hardly worth fighting for. She should also instruct her SO to get a visitation schedule drawn up with the court BEFORE the BM denies him access to his daughter.
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Sherron
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Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"Yes she should its hardly worth fighting for. "
You're certainly entitled to your opinion, but I don't think everyone's line in the sand is in the same place. What is hardly worth it for you is another person's hill to die on.
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JennyLynn
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Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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Good post. ITA.
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Redlegg
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Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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no one has been accused of doing anything inappropriate with the child
You are right, they admitted it. Apparently you missed the part about people sleeping with unrelated being inappropriate. If you decide to let yor kids sleep with other adults that is your business. I may not agree, but I certainly support your right to make the choice. maybe we we should not dismiss what others think of this practice, maybe we should be more tolerant of what others think instead of just dismissing them as (gasp) control freaks.
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