Contour
newbie
Reged: 06/26/10
Posts: 41
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First thing - in anything you do like marriage, friendships, jobs... Avoid the "victims". So this woman says her ex abused her. Some people claim that about every spouse they had. If you meet someone who says, "it seems like I always end up with abusers", then it is probably, well, maybe, just maybe, the abusee is doing SOMEthing to cause this. People don't normally act out unless provoked.
Two sides to every story
The shows you see on channels life Lifetime tend to show someone sitting there, doing nothing except maybe spilled a glass of milk, and the spouse just goes wild.
What is *really* going on?
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6497
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This poster is a man whose wife already left him. It 'sounds' like she just married him to get into this country and get alimony from him. His ex is now claiming to be abused to get more $$$ from him......all of this is according to him. I have no reason not to believe him and if he is telling the truth, I feel bad for the guy.
The problem is every single post he makes is whining about the same crap.
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alrietto
journeyman
Reged: 01/05/10
Posts: 92
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[quote="PeterPiper"]Wow. I am just bowled over by these stories. I cannot believe the meanness and selfishness of some people. ...Btw I haven't been married to a foreigner but I really feel for guys in this position. It's a terrible way to be treated by someone you care/cared about.[/quote]Yes. It is a terrible trauma to care for someone, help her and then realize that you have been used, abused and now you are being falsely accused.
Some obvious conclusions can be made:
1. NEVER marry a foreign person who may want a green Card. Especially you guys - NEVER marry a foreign woman. DON'T EVER bring her to this country on a fiancé visa.
2. If there is no other way and you are willing to take the substantial risk VAWA imposes, make sure there is a Pre-Nupt that is so strong that you can remove your foreign spouse from your place of residence immediately when trouble start. If such a Pre-Nupt is not possible, DON'T marry her/him.
3. Make sure that she/he would suffer a substantial loss if they start trouble. If you are willing to take the substantial risk VAWA imposes and marry her anyway, make her give you something valuable, money, real-estate, bonds, stock... that you would return over a few years. Make her pay for your vehicles and register them in your name. Make her pay for the right you are giving her to falsely accuse you for the Green Card. It is up to you to determine how much it is worth to you.
4. Make police reports about her/him. No matter what she/he does or doesn't do, go to the police station and make complaints about her/him. She doesn't have to know about it. Tell them she/he is mentally ill, abusive, parasite, depressed, lazy - anything you can think of. Keep copy of these reports with you so that you can show them to the police when trouble starts.
5. Continuously think about the worst possible thing she/he can do and what you can do to prevent it and defend yourself from it. Be proactive. Create a situation where if she/he starts trouble she/he will hurt herself/himself much more than they will hurt you.
6. Just as soon as you see a change in behvior, attitude, expression, as soon as some strange things begin to occur, immidiately remove her/him from you residence. If that is not possible, remove yourself and start legal procedings to remove her/him from you residence.
7. Remeber that even though you love her/him and even when she/he says that she/he loves you, she/he may be lying, deceiving and prostituting themselves to you for the sole purpose of getting a Green Card. Don't forget for a minute about the very big chance that she/he is willing to cause you a great deal of damage in order to achieve their own selfish goal.
Good luck to you with your next relationship with an immigrant.
- Al
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