mrslady
recently joined
Reged: 06/23/10
Posts: 5
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My husband and I have the exact same professional degree. He quit his good job 3 years back to start his own business which has gone nowhere while I supported us. No kids, married 15 years. Now he has a part time job and works on his business and wants me to pay him support. There is currently a quite large difference in income though he is qualified to get the exact same type of job I have and in fact did have just such a job 3 years ago. Why, why, why does anyone owe anyone else a living? Why do people feel entitled to mooch off someone else for years and years? Just because they were there before? But they are not there now and that seems important to me! It makes zero sense to me. I guess human beings are often pretty greedy. Some cases I can understand that support is warranted but mostly it seems to be lazy and greedy and unkind. No one is owed a living for free, just get off your buns and take care of yourself. I offered to pay him 6 months so he can make his own choices about what to do with his life. He has already stated that he intends to keep the part time job he has, though. Plus there has been mental abuse (not physical) all these years to where I lost my sense of myself, he is questioning and advising my every move, controlling the money and life in general, and I lived in fear of upsetting him. I am still scared though much much more bold than I used to be. I hate my life right now. I am so so sad, this divorce process is scary and lonely. I just want to be myself again but the world is so black right now :-(
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Women have been doing this for years, receiving alimony. It is only fair that women "bread winners" are held to the same standards that men have been held to. It stinks for everyone that has to pay.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Interestingly enough, men have said for YEARS that if you want to see an end to alimony, start making WOMEN pay it...and LOOK what is happening, LOL (I know you are against alimony, NOT criticizing you).
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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mrslady
recently joined
Reged: 06/23/10
Posts: 5
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I don't understand why my gender is coming up here? It does not seem to matter to me.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Try looking at it from a GUYS perspective, we have been paying alimony for a HELL of a lot longer.
Edited to add: And when we complained about it, we were told it was only FAIR, and we should suck it up and deal with it.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
Edited by gr8Dad (07/07/10 02:18 PM)
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mrslady
recently joined
Reged: 06/23/10
Posts: 5
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I don't understand your attitude towards me. Seems you agree with me 100% yet delight in my misfortune. I am a human being not only a woman. I guess this forum is not a place to get support. Adios divorce source I will kust talk to my best friend
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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[quote]I don't understand why my gender is coming up here? It does not seem to matter to me. [/quote]
Gender may not matter to you, but gender equality matters in the courtroom. If male breadwinnders have to pay so do female breadwinners. It sucks, especially in your case when there are no children and you both previously made the same income. Those stories are extra "sucky".
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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mrslady
recently joined
Reged: 06/23/10
Posts: 5
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Ok this my last post. I agree with gender equality in court. But my point wss that spousal support seems pretty unfair period. I wish someone here could just say amen, sister and not have the gender chip on the shoulder.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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[quote]Ok this my last post. I agree with gender equality in court. But my point wss that spousal support seems pretty unfair period. I wish someone here could just say amen, sister and not have the gender chip on the shoulder. [/quote]
Amen sister.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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d2njti
member
Reged: 03/05/08
Posts: 187
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"WANTS me to pay him support"
I'm reading that support is not yet ordered in a settlement agreement. He can want all he likes, but you can get an expert to assess his earning capacity, and if he willingly chooses to work under his earning potential, it is unlikely that a court would require you to make up the difference.
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