rocketmom
recently joined
Reged: 08/23/10
Posts: 20
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My 2 years of spousal support ends this month. While married, my then husband refused to allow me to further my education. He said that he needed to finish his first. I worked hard, and raised babies while he was at work and night classes. He told me that when he finished his degree I could start on mine. A semester shy of him getting his degree he starts seeing someone else and asks for a divorce.
So, I am taking one class at a time while working and raising the kids. I feel like I'm entitled to the spousal support until my degree is complete!
Any opinions or advice is welcomed.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"So, I am taking one class at a time while working and raising the kids. I feel like I'm entitled to the spousal support until my degree is complete!"
My guess is it should have been written in the decree that way then... not 2 years... you may feel you got the short end, but honestly, I don't think ss is an entitlement. I understand about working, raising kids and going to school, have been doing it myself for the last... 4, 5 years? It sucks, but it's doable. My opinion... let the ss drop, move on and do it on your own.
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rocketmom
recently joined
Reged: 08/23/10
Posts: 20
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Thanks. that's what I was leaning on. I know I'm still bitter b/c I am having to struggle so hard. Sometimes I let it get the best of me but I'm trying sooo hard not to.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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There will be good days, and there will be bad days. The struggle will only make it worth more to you in the end, that you were able to finish it on your own, without depending on him. I think it's good that you're recognizing that your own bitterness may taint your decisions and that you're fighting against that... so let it go... that chapter of your life is done, it is time to start a new one.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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The longer he stayed with you, the more it would have cost him in the end, so why stay ?
They are not his kids, they are your children. 2 years is a pretty small cost to get a user like you out of his life.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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rocketmom... ignore yregna, the resident troll on this board.
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7949
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Why wouldn't you get your education before having children? That might have negated this whole problem in the first place.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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I guess what bugs me is that yes, she cared for the kids, but he WORKED and went to school in the evening, so it was not like she was supporting him, HE was paying for everything.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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guess what bugs me is that yes, she cared for the kids, but he WORKED and went to school in the evening, so it was not like she was supporting him, HE was paying for everything.
Except childcare. Sure he WORKED and he went to school evenings. He didn't have to worry about getting home and helping the kids with homework, bathing them, getting lunches ready for the next day, trying to find time to study and worrying about paying for extra childcare so he could go to school. Plus it gave him time for an extra cirricular sex life. Nice.
Do I think that warrants alimony? No, because I'm against it except in very extreme cases, but in my world it never would have happened that my husband got to spend the time furthering his education while I sat home with the kids so he could do it. Either we'd have both been going on neither of us would.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"Except childcare. Sure he WORKED and he went to school evenings. He didn't have to worry about getting home and helping the kids with homework, bathing them, getting lunches ready for the next day"
Well, you would have to admit that HALF of the care of the kids was her responsibility, and while HE didn't have to worry about child care, SHE also did not have to worry about PAYING for the house, the food, the utilities, clothing, etc etc.
Its the old stay and home parent thing. Yes, it is work, but HE was working as well.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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