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nowife4me
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Help for my friend
      #685084 - 08/25/10 02:24 PM

Hello everyone.
First I have to say, I been doing some research for my friend and reading some of the stores here...crazy stuff.

Anyways, I am looking for some advice here. Basically here at the facts:

State is Ohio
Married 9 years
No kids
Have a house which they bought together, it's for sale now
Both have good jobs, he makes slightly more than her, but being in the career he is in, his income has been dropping every year for past 3 years (airlines)

They decided to get a divorce. Things got little ugly, she initally wanted divorce because he was never home (he worked two jobs). When it finally got into his head that maybe it is really time for divorce, she all of the sudden had a change of hearths...

She was crying to me, telling me to talk to him that maybe they have make it works, etc..well..one night they both talked and he says that they were up and down for long time now and he doesnt' think it will work out and he does want to go with a divorce. At that point, she told him to get out of the house. She called the cops to have him removed from the house, but cops couldnt' do anything because there was no domestic violence or anything. She simply wanted him out of the house at 1am...he said "I have to work in 4 hours! just go to bed and we talk about it tomorrow".. but she did anyways. Cops arrive and tell him in private to RUN out of there, not walk, because if ANYTHING happens to her she can call them again and say that he hit her or something. Of course, he doesn't want that so he moved out to live with me.

So she filed for divorce few weeks later. When she filed, papers were sent EVERYWHERE. To his work, his work's corporate HQ in another state, his second job, his second job's headquarters, his 401k place that his company uses for, his banks where he held and opened new checking account per his attorney's advice. His attorney told him to take half of the money from each join account they have, open separate checking account and pay half of the bills. So he did that. He wrote her a check and dropped it off at the house for exactly half of the household expenses using his new checking account. When she filed for divorce, she locked his checking account so he couldn't take any money.

So fast forward now 3 months.

They just had a first hearing at the court. His attorney and her attorney...her attorney claimed that he left, took all the stuff and cleared up all the accounts (that is what they wrote on the divroce papers too). None of this is true. She called the cops, he had no choice but to leave with whatever he had on his back to wear, he didn't take anything and took half of the money that was in their bank, and paid half of the bills per his attorney's advice.

Now, she is asking for a house and support. They had a temporary spousal suporrt hearing scheduled for end of September. Somehow her attorney managed to just go to the judge (magistate or whatever) and request to cancel the meeting and had awarded her $2k per month! Of course his attorney didn't even know about it but once he found out he filed a motion. He simply can not pay this money! He lives in my basement sleeping on the couch while she is living in the house and wants him to pay for it? I just don't get it.

I guess my question is, what do you guys think about this? It seems like her attorney doesn't know the process since she filed documents the wrong way, but somehow she is getting it done for her client. My buddy feels like he is playing catch up and is one step behind. I am thinking it's because she filed first so she is in a driver's seat.

On the expense forms, she listed crazy things like clothes - $300 a month, nails, hair, going out, enterntainment, etc...to the total of over $5k a month!!!! That doesn't even compute with their income.

Will he have to pay allimony to her? He is 34 she is 32.

The way I look at it, she threw him out and now wants him to pay for everything and wants everything. He can't even get his personal belognings out of the house because she changed the code on alarm system. Besides, he can't go there byhimself.

Edited by nowife4me (08/25/10 02:28 PM)


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Happy Birthday yregna
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: nowife4me]
      #685085 - 08/25/10 02:29 PM

Quote " she initally wanted divorce because he was never home (he worked two jobs).. "

Oldest story in the world. This woman is a typical American female. She has every right to take him to the cleaners and probably will, then move on to her next victim.

And you wonder why men are reluctant to marry ? I'm surprised she doesn 't have kids, that would tie up the jackpot for sure...

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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nowife4me
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: yregna]
      #685088 - 08/25/10 02:32 PM

This is all mind bogling to me. My friend and I do not get it. His attorney originally send a letter to her attorney asking to talk. My buddy was absolutely fine and more than willing to just go in, diving everything and move on. But he got slammed with all this stuff.

How can it be that he was thrown out of the house he paid for (really doesn't matter who makes monthly payments anyways) for no reason, then he is required to keep paying for it! Poor guy lives in my basement sleeping on the couch with clothes folded on the floor, whatever he could buy to wear now. It's just sad.


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Miranda
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: nowife4me]
      #685119 - 08/25/10 03:29 PM

Do not listen to the previous poster. He is just angry and bitter and offers ZERO advice.

I don't buy that your friend's ex was just able to get an order for alimony without anything being heard in court and without him being notified. If he has an attorney, his attorney should be all over that, it should have been thrown out by now...but again that version of events really does not make much sense.

And if he had a court hearing he should have been able to get his stuff out of the home.

--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!

Edited by Miranda (08/25/10 03:31 PM)


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nowife4me
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: Miranda]
      #685149 - 08/25/10 04:24 PM

Miranda, thank you for your reply.

This is exactly how it happened.

They had first hearing scheduled in court. Both attorneys met in front of the judge. Her attorney filed motion for temporary support that same day after the court date, even though they already had a date in court scheduled for that at the end of the next month. Basically, this was the very first time the both went to court. This is when he heard that she wants everything. House, money, everything...

So her attorney went to the magistrate (spelling) and basically got the date canceled and granted her 2 grand a month without hearing.
Look, here is from the website:

"PLTFS MOTION FOR DETERMINATION OF TEMPORARY SPOUSAL SUPPORT ON AFFIDAVITS AND EQUITABLE RELIEF #304402 IS GRANTED. MAGISTRATE IS DIRECTED TO DETERMINE SUPPORT PENDENTE LITE WITH THE AFFIDAVITS PREVIOUSLY SUBMITTED WITHOUT ORAL HEARING. THE GENERAL HEARING SET FOR SEPT 28, 2010 IS CANCELLED. O.S.J. NOTICE ISSUED "

His attorney got a notice on monday that this happened. This went totally behind the back of his attorney! No hearing, nothing...

Of course, his attorney went straight to court next day and filed motion to strike and request for oral hearing. This is totally unethical. Anyone could request any type of amount then. It makes no sense!

Again, this is for TEMPORARY sposal support.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: Miranda]
      #685179 - 08/25/10 05:39 PM

I hate to say it, but I was initially in the same boat. Ordered to provide pay stubs to her attorney, my attorney (first attorney, BAD attorney) gave them the pay stubs, and her attorney used some different numbers, and the judge initially granted her temporary child support and alimony which was more than I even MADE.

And since there is no way to get rid of back child support, I had to pay it. The judge did "apologize"...gee thanks, and "admonished" her attorney, but neither put the money back in my pocket.

--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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nowife4me
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: gr8Dad]
      #685188 - 08/25/10 06:06 PM

He has a good attorney. All this just went behind his back. As soon as his attorney found out (got a notice) he went right back to court and filed objection, motion to strike and request for oral hearing. They basically went straight to the Magistry. Since it wasn't the Judge that is assigned to the case, Magistry just hit the hammer and aproved it without looking at any facts, but just at the income.

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Miranda
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: nowife4me]
      #685307 - 08/26/10 07:06 AM

Why don't they leave the magister alone and take it to court. Anytime people do not agree and argue it goes back to the judge. I dealt with this for CS and the magister sent us right back to court because he could not hear arguments.

--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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nowife4me
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: Miranda]
      #685315 - 08/26/10 07:45 AM

I guess that magister was assigned to the case. I really don't know why it's going through there.

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nowife4me
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: nowife4me]
      #685331 - 08/26/10 08:42 AM

Anymore input guys? My friend and I were talking about it and he thinks that he will end up paying her at the end of the whole thing $500 a month for 3 years. According to documents, she makes 39k a year and he makes 69k a year.

You guys this something like this could happen? I mean, she works full time, no kids...this whole thing should be simple but it seems so complicated. We think she is just dragging it as long as she can.


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hanzblinx
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: nowife4me]
      #685662 - 08/27/10 10:29 AM

Unfortunately this is how many women plan retirement these days. It's all about the free ride, getting something for nothing. The more lies they tell the more money the court gives them. Women are spawn of the devil and he owns their souls. Women have zero integrity, morals, or self worth.

Now regarding alimony. In my state she would get $675/month temporary support by law (based on income), until the divorce. At that point there are no laws. But traditionally she would get between 0-675/month for about 3 years.

In my case I was married 12 years. My income 110K hers 0K (she never had a job in her life). I negotiated 18 months alimony at $800/month. However, this might be an unusual case because my ex's parents are wealthy, and her standard of living is much higher than mine and always will be due to that point.

Tell you friend to be thankful the court has not ordered him to pay for her lawyer to sue himself. That's another trick they play. It's called psychological torture and family courts seems to love it watching a man pay to get himself sued while they laugh at him for being stupid enough to enter a marriage contract with a [censored].

Edited by hanzblinx (08/27/10 10:52 AM)


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nowife4me
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: hanzblinx]
      #685702 - 08/27/10 11:52 AM

Thank you for your reply hanz..

Well...regarding the lawyer fees, she did file in divorce that she wants him to pay for her attorney fees. Hopefully that won't happen.

What's sad is, that he actually gave her a check for exactly half of the bills and said he will continue to pay half until the whole thing is done and over with. She instead, put a lock on his checking account that he opened.

We just don't understand how all this is possible to even be happening.

1. She called the cops to get him out of the house just because she wanted him out of there..
2. He left for his own good so he wouldn't have domestic violance because she could do something stupid like hit her head and call the cops.
3. He moved in with me with NOTHING
4. Gave her a check for half of the bills per month
5. She files for a divorce, locks his bank account
6. She wants a full house that is for sale now
7. Got 2k a month granted for temporary sposal support without hearing!

All this from a woman that drives a Mercedes, fake boobs, spends $300 a month on clothes, goes out every weekend, lives in a nice house and has a full time good paying job.

Meanwhile, my friend worked two jobs to provide all this, pays for his own school loans, drives 230k miles mid 1990s car, sleeps in my basement on a couch and is ordered to pay 2 grand a month without even magistrate hearing his side.

It's not like he tried to shaft her out of money. Just wanted to be fair.. half/half...

Nope, that's not good enough.

What's crazy is how much money all this is costing and what a waste of time all this is. If you add up all the money they are both spending on attorney fees, that money could be for them!


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hanzblinx
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: nowife4me]
      #685709 - 08/27/10 12:13 PM

If you know of any young man who is considering marriage, make sure they talk to someone who has been steamrolled into the ground first so he fully understands in family court there are no rights. There is no justice. Better to die a free man than find yourself shackled to Adolf Hitler on estrogen.

Women are genetically programmed to be gold diggers, it's in the DNA. They are incapable of empathy, or thinking of anyone else besides themselves. It's not a question of if, but a question of when they strike and they go for the kill. When a female praying mantis has no further use for her mate she decapitates him and eats his body. This is how nature programs them, do not marry!!!

Edited by hanzblinx (08/27/10 12:16 PM)


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Sherron
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: hanzblinx]
      #685794 - 08/27/10 04:45 PM

"Women are genetically programmed to be gold diggers, it's in the DNA. They are incapable of empathy, or thinking of anyone else besides themselves. It's not a question of if, but a question of when they strike and they go for the kill. When a female praying mantis has no further use for her mate she decapitates him and eats his body. This is how nature programs them, do not marry!!! "

Whatever is going on with you... I'm sure there are meds for it. I do agree with not marrying a praying mantis though, I don't think tolerance has quite caught up to inter-species marriage yet.


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Happy Birthday yregna
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: Sherron]
      #691871 - 09/21/10 02:56 PM

Sherron,
The really sad part is that YOU continue to support women who seek alimony as a career option. At least I shun child molesters and wife beaters. That makes me a better person than you.,.

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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Sherron
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Re: Help for my friend [Re: yregna]
      #691918 - 09/21/10 04:34 PM

I do? Lol... fyi, keeping your distance because of a restraining order does not make you a better person.

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