palmel1234
journeyman
Reged: 03/05/10
Posts: 93
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I'm in SC too, and my stupid attorney told me to claim abuse as grounds for divorce. Well, the judge threw that out. Even though he pushed me into a desk, was taking my school computer away if I wouldn't have sex with him, and verbally abusing me. It still didn't meet the thresshold of abuse.
Just move out, it's a good thing you don't have kids.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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It all depends on the proof you have. If you just tell the judge he pushed you and took your computer, they have no option but TO throw that out. And they probably granted the divorce based on irreconcilable differences? People will say a lot of things during a divorce, not all of them true.
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Char Fox
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TomatoFace
recently joined
Reged: 10/21/10
Posts: 15
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I feel your pain sister...I am involved with someone just like that...when I approached him (active alchie) because he was emotionally unavailble...bigot, plain old ass to the core...he left...and intentionally went out to seek a co-worker who had been flirting with him...and guess what...yup...
Rotten to the core is rotten to the core...they will never change...get as much information as you can..Good Luck...my thoughts are with you, as prayer doesn't seem to work for me!
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connie60
member
Reged: 08/27/10
Posts: 101
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I am answering my own post. I have found out the answer is yes, although, much of this cannot be used in court. The habitual drunkiness can be used, and my husband is willing to admit to it to get it over with.
All of this has made me stronger, and my self esteem is also improving.
We have been separated for 3 months now, and its made all of the difference in the world.
I wasnt in denial at all, i just did not have a way out, but i found one. There is hope!!!!!
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RebeccaFein
newbie
Reged: 08/04/11
Posts: 27
Loc: Georgia, USA
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Emotional and mental abuse are considered under the domestic violence programs. You should seek out your local domestic violence agency for assistance.
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You deserve to lead the fine life don't let ANYONE tell you differently!
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mcintyremom
recently joined
Reged: 08/08/11
Posts: 3
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I am new here, but I am in a similar situation. My husband has been retired for 11 years and has been diagnosed with PTSD and schizophrenia. For the last 12 years he has been horrible to live with. He will not hold a job, keeps quitting because they are "spying" on him. He is contantly accusing me and our daughters of all kinds of terrible things, usually sexually oriented. We can't have friends, because they would only be our friends to get to him, can't go to church because it is a cult (baptist - but they all are now), can't go anywhere because they are watching, etc. He is drinking way too much, has been arrested twice, hospitalized numerous times, but refuses to take medicine. My daughter called 911 two years ago because he pushed me and I fell over a chair and he was screaming like a banshee, so she was a little freaked out. We ended up with him in jail, a restraining order and separated for about 7 months. He begged to come home, said he would quit drinking, get a job, etc. I wouldn't let him come back until he got the job, that all lasted about 6 months then he quit again. Now things are worse than ever. I have spoken with my lawyer and MD does allow divorce based on excessive emotional cruelty. So, after 12 years of this, I am done. My biggest question is this? After 29 years of marriage, he was in the military for about 6 months before we got married and retired after 22 years, I should be entitled to part of his pension. But, since he refuses to work (he has quit 4 jobs in 8 years, all 95k or more per year, I make under 50) will the courts give it to me? I believe that he should have to work just as much as I do? I have worked our entire marriage, including night shift while raising 3 kids that were 2 1/2 years apart. I know that I can keep my benefits, but don't think it is fair that because he refuses to keep a job or get medication or help, I could be denied part of the pension that I helped him get. And no matter what anyone else believes, military wives give up a lot to help their spouses by moving, quitting jobs, dealing with family alone, etc. So, anyone have any suggestions? Does anyone know about military pensions? But, as far as the emotional abuse, check your state laws, it could be a reason for the divorce.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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"I believe that he should have to work just as much as I do?"
"My husband has been retired for 11 years and has been diagnosed with PTSD and schizophrenia."
I work in a mental health unit. With the above diagnosis, probably 99% of the folks don't have a job.
Have you seen an attorney?
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mcintyremom
recently joined
Reged: 08/08/11
Posts: 3
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Yes, I am in the process of gathering paperwork to file. He has had four jobs since retiring and quit each one. He makes double my salary each time. He refuses to take medication, go to the doctor or apply for disability or any other type of help. When we do talk about divorce he tells me that I am not getting any of his pension because how would he live. At this time, he sits home every day waiting for me to come home from work so he can start screaming about things, making accusations and ranting. He will cook, but he doesn't do anything else, no maintenance around the house, no housework, laundry, or anything else. I am expected to do that plus work my job. I have worked our entire 29 years of marriage, plus raise our 3 kids, done the stuff that needed to be done, moved at least 10 times, but now he is entitled to stay home with his pension while I continue to work until I am worn out? I already am! So I am going to go for half his pension and half of everything else. We got married at 19 and 20, we are now 48 and 49. Everything we have we earned together. He has managed to maintain a job and earn a pension, get his 4 year degree and is working on his masters (but he can't hold a job) and we couldn't "afford" my college, I changed jobs every 3 - 4 years, so no career, and now I am not entitled to anything he has done. So, what would you suggest?
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