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MJenkins
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Reged: 10/07/10
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Morality Clause
      #696088 - 10/07/10 04:27 PM

This isn't a divorce related question, but it's hard to google information on this topic when marriage isn't involved.
My bf lives with me, and has his daughter every other weekend. I adore her, and we get along great. I do NOT try to replace her mother, but I DO care for her when she's in my home. (cooking, cleaning, diaper changes). My bf and I are NOT sexual around her. We're extremely responsible, and our time spent with his child is always positive. Her mother doesn't know he resides with me, we've never met and I avoid her at all costs to keep the peace. (She's shown herself to be jealous and though she's passive agressive, she does look me up on social networking sites.) She's unaware of our homelife, and we've found it's best that way. She gives him enough trouble as it is.
Recently we attended a formal event at night (without his daughter of course) in which pictures were taken of us together, celebrating. The photographer uploaded the pics to his website, and my bf's bm saw them. It's been well over 2 years since they were together or intimate on ANY level, however she claims she was hurt. She hasn't formally threatened yet, but I have a strong feeling she's going to persue a morality clause that would effect our living situation. Would a judge grant that to her? Would she have to proove my character to be negative, or a danger to her child?


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MJenkins]
      #696098 - 10/07/10 05:11 PM

Morality clauses, although I mostly agree with them, are difficult to enforce. More importantly, it would be very difficult to have one added a couple years after a divorce. It really needed to be addressed then, and be in the decree.

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MJenkins
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #696107 - 10/07/10 05:52 PM

That's just it...they were never married. So Could she come in all willy nilly and add it, just because she doesn't want us together? Currently she doesn't know that he's moved in...but seeing the pics alone was enough to get her riled up. If she knew the big picture, I'm sure she'd cause a mess.

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finz
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MJenkins]
      #696150 - 10/07/10 11:08 PM

She had sex with him and had a child out of wedlock.

The 'purpose' of adding the no cohabitation clause to CO's for child custody is to make sure the child is not exposed to behavior that is at odds with their prior moral upbringing.

That horse is out of the barn......ignore BM


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Avaya
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MJenkins]
      #696184 - 10/08/10 08:13 AM

Quote:

....but I have a strong feeling she's going to persue a morality clause....




Chances are, you are worrying yourself over nothing. Many of us have been on the loooooonnnnng road of 'what if' and run ourselves ragged over something the other parent never considered or took seriously. We see specks as HUGE obstacles and worry ourselves over them when they're just nothing; you're just letting her take up space in your head over nothing. Cross that bridge when/if you get to it and not before. You're going to consider every scenario and eventually you're going to treat BM how you would IF she DID do those 'what if's' and you'll damage the relationship before it even starts.

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MrsB
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MJenkins]
      #696185 - 10/08/10 08:13 AM

How long have the two of you been together? Just curious.

Some judges and states could order a no-cohabitation clause. This doesn't mean you can't live together - but it means you can't be spending the night under the same roof **on days he has his child**.


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MJenkins
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MrsB]
      #696345 - 10/08/10 04:31 PM

Thank you all for your responses. We've been together a year and half. He waited 2 or 3 months into the relationship to let me meet his daughter. The reason I worried, was because she recently said, "We need to talk. I'll call later...I'm waiting to hear back from my lawyer."
She hasn't said anything since, but I'm almost positive she's up to something.
I will however take a break from the worrying as you've suggested.


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MrsB
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MJenkins]
      #696348 - 10/08/10 04:47 PM

I agree with not worrying until you know what it is. How long have you two been living together?

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MJenkins
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MrsB]
      #696358 - 10/08/10 05:46 PM

We've been living together for a year. It's actually MY apt, though when this lease is up, we intend to get another place with both of our names on the lease.

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MrsB
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Re: Morality Clause [Re: MJenkins]
      #696440 - 10/09/10 11:26 AM

How old is his child? I would think, depending on where you live and what te standard laws are like there, that since you can prove it isn't detrimental to the child and you've been doing it for a year already, she wouldn't have much of a case. Especially if there is no CO stating that he can't cohabitate. Do they have a CO?

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