wannabfree
recently joined
Reged: 08/27/10
Posts: 6
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My husband and I will have the kids equal time (for the most part!) What kind of schedule is best for the kids?
Can anyone shed some light on what has worked well for them?
Our girls are 14 & 16! When my parents divorced my little brother was 6 years old (I was out of the house) he spent 4 nights with Mom, 3 nights with Dad every week. It seemed to work pretty well and I thought I wanted the same thing.
My daughter mentioned that she thought it might be difficult to have to pack up their things after a few days every week! She suggested 1 whole week & switching off that way. (not sure where she came up with that? but never-the-less....?)
I really do want whats best for THEM! I FEEL like I would die a little inside, I'd miss out on so much if I didn't get to be with them EVERY week.. (like I said that's how I FEEL)
What is truly best for them? I have to put my feelings aside and do the right thing for them.. After all I can call and talk with them but.....well enough said!
FEEDBACK plz!
[color:blue] [/color]
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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I know a lot of people, my sister included, who have week on week off and it works great for the kids. They're old enough to express their own opinions and if you guys think that'd be best for then I say go for it.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3051
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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wannabfree, I've seen other parents suggest this and it's a good one I think --
There should be at least enough clothing at BOTH houses that the packing would be minimal at best. Things like hair dryers, flat irons, curling irons can be obtained cheaply enough so that each house could have one. Same thing with extra school supplies if one of them realizes that they need a new notebook or something.
If your husband and you can make this work, then it would be awesome for your children.
FAce this also -- the day is coming when your girls are going to be leaving for college, etc and you won't be with them all week every week. My oldest son is in Okinawa JAPAN, as he's a Marine. That's really hard to get used to but with Skype and email and Facebook, it works -- I talk to him probably.....2-3 times per week? Is that an option for you also?
If the kids want to try it this way, and you and your ex can parent this way, give it a try. If it doesn't work **giving it a good trial period** then perhaps another arrangement is in order.
What would happen with child support if there is a great disparity in your income?
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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My ex and I use a 5/2, 2/5 schedule. The kids love it, and it's what worked best for our individual jobs.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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My GOD, you speak with your grown son 3 times a week ?
Cut the friggen apron strings will you ? Is this kid EVER going to grow out of MOMMY'S shadow ?
UGH ! Disgusting !
--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3051
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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YOU are the disgusting one. My son is WELL out of my shadow, he's a United States Marine who happens to love his mother.
You have an issue with that?
Shove it up your A$$, you ignorant PRICK!
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Hike4Daze
recently joined
Reged: 10/25/10
Posts: 2
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I'm concerned with my daughter and the alienation that is becoming an issue between the two of us. Mom has a history of anger and bizarre behaviors concerning relationships with me and the kids. We are in process of separating (never married), but now my middle child is starting to mimic mom's behavior. Mom and Mom's extended family have bad mouthed me in front of the kids. I can feel my daughter pushing me away. I don't want to get the courts involved, but I'm worried that this alienation may harm my daughter.
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nursemom
enthusiast
Reged: 11/18/10
Posts: 205
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Uhmmm Hike 4 Daze, I think you accidentally posted your own issues under this thread. The OP is asking about what type of schedule has worked best for those of us who have parenting schedules.
To wannabfree, I do the 2 days on, 5 days off, 5 days on, 2 days off schedule (ie, Mon & Tues kids w/dad, Wed & Thurs kids w/mom, then alternate every other Fri, Sat, and Sun) This worked best for our job situation but plenty of my friends do the week on, week off schedule and like it just fine...talk with your ex to see what you both think would work. Also, don't forget to discuss special situations like vacation time, and holidays.
Best of luck to you.
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