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Fishergirl
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Reged: 12/06/08
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ex's new job
      #705451 - 11/11/10 10:55 AM

This is more of a vent than anything. My ex has never wanted to pay cs. I know, what NPC wants to. I read it all the time. I just didnt think my ex would sink to the lows he has to get out of paying it.

He was fired from his job for stealing a few months ago. It was then discovered that he had been working on the side for years. No biggie I kinda already knew that. Now however his working on the side (totally under the table) has become a full time job (or at least full time for him). He is also giving the kids a HUGE poor me speach all the time. I knew cs would stop which it did. We make it but it is tighter than it was and wow teens sure seem to be spendy lately lol. He took me back to court and lost (meaning he didnt get anything he aked for except for a reduction in cs- whatever he isnt even coming close to the new amount and the judge was mad at him and didnt lower it to what he wanted). I just ended up with a huge lawyer bill. With all this Im trying to just let go and focus on supporting my family whatever he does is his life. Im just frustrated. They are now starting to garnish his unemployment but it is sporatic at best and never the same amount and not even close to his cs amount.

What gets me tho is that my teen daughter came to me asking my opinion. I told her sure. She asked me what I thought about dad working as a door to door funeral salesman. Now I know that the economy is in the crapper but this just seems like a all new low to me. This man has a college degree. Maybe what is bugging me is that he is doing it under the table which makes it feel less honerable to me. Trust me I have done some jobs I hated just to earn money but I was always honest about them. Working with a special needs child at home is not easy as I need to be home for him.


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MidGround4
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Reged: 11/09/10
Posts: 24
Loc: Houston, Texas
Re: ex's new job [Re: Fishergirl]
      #705663 - 11/11/10 04:08 PM

Hope it felt better to get it off your chest. Not sure what you can do about it but good luck. I would keep good records in case after the kids are out, and he gets a real job, you can seek past payments.

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mmn0929
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Reged: 06/22/09
Posts: 5
Re: ex's new job [Re: MidGround4]
      #706648 - 11/15/10 06:34 PM

WOW, sister, could you and I be twins. I feel every bit of your pain. I was just sitting here having a little cry about not getting any child support since my ex lost his job last month. I have two kids in college and that is freakishly expensive and he has never contributed one dime towards that. My attorney wrote in our decree that he was to pay child support as long as the kids (twins) were enrolled in college, which they are. I'm going to be so far in debt when they graduate, but it's him they feel sorry for. Yep, he does the Poor Me to them both all the rime! Well, Poor Me, but I keep my job and if I did lose it and couldn't find a full tiem job, I would go out and get as many part time ones as I could to keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomach. I swear, I think my ex doesn't have to worry about this stuff as he knows I will always take care of them. I'm just exhausted emotionally, so I know exactly how you feel. Not much we can do about it, but maybe it makes you feel better to know you are not alone.

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MrsB
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Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
Re: ex's new job [Re: Fishergirl]
      #706666 - 11/15/10 08:13 PM

I understand yor frustration. My ex worked under the table for years before finally joining the military because our judge was going to throw him in jail. How long have you been divorced? Are you getting any CS at all?

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Runswithbeer
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Reged: 11/12/10
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Re: ex's new job [Re: MrsB]
      #706682 - 11/15/10 09:05 PM

I was making 100K a year and flipped burgers while unemployed... incase you didn't noice... we are in a recession and jobs aren't readily handed out. Is it a new low? sure...but out of necessity. Now, from what I am reading you are saying this door to door sales position is "under the table". How do you know this? Typically those positions aren't "under" the table as he is leaving a paper trail/record of what is sold (plots). So, I bet it's actually a commission only job. If it is truly under the table, contact the company he works for and tell them he needs to be w-9 as an independent contractor due to CS obligations and that if they don't do this, you will turn them in.

I am a rare in that I paid CS for 10+ years to my ex and now... I have full custody, I don't receive it.

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Fishergirl
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Re: ex's new job [Re: Runswithbeer]
      #706703 - 11/15/10 10:54 PM

runswithbeer - for starters all I can think is stop running with your beer or you will spill it on the carpet! lol. Second I am well aware we are in a recession. Its not totally what he is doing as a job (yeah ill admit I find it a bit creepy but thats just not my cup of tea). What bothers me is that is was making almost (or maybe as much) as you were and he got fired from his job for stealing. Not laid off or downsized, he stole. And in this economy when the aspects of getting a new job are slim that is just way poor judgement on his part. But then I dont condone stealing in any economy. I actually for a few years after my divorce washed dishes for a living so yeah I know all about having a job that isnt always the best.

I also have reasons to believe that he is working under the table because he is "working" odd jobs and yet health and welfare has yet to be able to track down any job. Plus when he was fired for stealing part of it was that he was stealing suplies and doing jobs - well, under the table. Health and welfare has told me they would be able to track down a job as soon as any taxes or withholdings would come out of his paycheck- so far they have had no luck. I will say that the funeral thing is the newest of jobs so maybe there is an actual company - but so far health and welfare is unable to verify any of it. Its not like he is going to call me and tell me where he is working so I have no idea what company to call. Besides that I just dont want to spend any more of my life than I have to focusing on his negativity. I need to be positive and happy in my life. I need to take care of myself and my children. Hopefully karma will take care of him.


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MrsB
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Re: ex's new job [Re: Fishergirl]
      #706710 - 11/16/10 06:09 AM

Being in a recession doesn't excuse a paremt from supporting their kid. At least paying SOMETHING. Interesting how NCP's who don't pay CS seem to be the only ones affected by the recession.

Maybe if the man wouldn't have broken the law and lost his job he could support his child. That isn't the recession's fault. That's his.


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gr8Dad
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Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 31350
Re: ex's new job [Re: MrsB]
      #706711 - 11/16/10 06:16 AM

"Interesting how NCP's who don't pay CS seem to be the only ones affected by the recession."

NOT defending the deadbeats, but NCP's are the only ones who contributions are forced, therefore they will be the first one to be SEEN suffering from the economy. YOu lose you job, or take a cut in pay, no on reports that the cable was shut off, or you started eating mac and cheese three times a week, know what I mean?

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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MrsB
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Re: ex's new job [Re: gr8Dad]
      #706719 - 11/16/10 08:07 AM

Yes, I do know what you mean gr8dad. I'm all about giving NCP's breaks during economic hardships - this isn't one of those economic hardships. Getting fired for stealing and breaking the law isn't the economy's fault :).

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MJenkins
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Reged: 10/07/10
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Re: ex's new job [Re: MrsB]
      #707378 - 11/17/10 03:43 PM

[quote]"Interesting how NCP's who don't pay CS seem to be the only ones affected by the recession."

NOT defending the deadbeats, but NCP's are the only ones who contributions are forced, therefore they will be the first one to be SEEN suffering from the economy. YOu lose you job, or take a cut in pay, no on reports that the cable was shut off, or you started eating mac and cheese three times a week, know what I mean? [/quote]

I totally agree. My bf was behind in cs because he was a full time student (only working part time) and the bm had initially said she wouldn't put him on cs. (They had agreed he'd pay what he could afford until graduation, and they'd have the amounts documented). She changed her tune, and the courts added back pay as well...so here we had a man working Three jobs, 7 days a week, 80+ hours a week because his wages were garnished...50% or more. No one can live that way. He couldn't afford bare minimums as a result of the back cs, and there is no way I'd feel bad about him getting paid "under the table" for his craft. (Artwork...not funeral plots, lol)

Back to the topic at hand though...Mrs.B is absolutely right...in deciding to steal, he put himself in that position. :/

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If you can't beat em, they're not tied down properly.


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