nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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Not sure if this is the correct forum to ask this...
Many people here have had their spouse violate court orders and the judge does nothing to enforce his own order. Everyone knows the frustration when it happens once or twice or the same order is repeatedly violated.
What about when multiple orders are violated every single week? Does the amount and vast array of violations change the opinion of the judge to follow through on consequences?
I am not talking anything criminal (well, except breaking and entering) just things like changing my kids' schedules on my day, non communication in the forms of text/phone blocking and not sharing important information such as doctor appts, entering my home (he has been ordered to NEVER enter my home), just general non compliance on just about every single normal daily order that most divorce decrees have mapped out.
SO, again, does the sheer number of violations count for anything?
I don't know how to live my life like this! I am constantly second guessing the where abouts of my kids when they're not directly underfoot because he has taken them without notification when they're at games/friends houses, etc. I'm forced to ask the kids what dad has told them about doctor appts, other plans, equipment purchases because I'm left in the dark, but I won't get them involved in parental matters so I'm left in the dark!
Help!
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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NL.../if he enters your house, I'd go straight to calling the police and having him removed/RO route.
Regarding the other issues......keep filing for contempt AND for your legal fees to be paid. It does sound like most judges just give a slap on the wrist, but if it's enough times, and when he gets sick of paying for your lawyer, hopefully he'll stop.
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nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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Your suggestion reminds me of your quoted definition of insanity. 
Problem with calling police: I did not find out about the incident until 2 days later and would only have the kids' words as evidence. IMO it's not healthy to get them involved in testifying against their dad.
But thanks for your input.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Yes, for that, I think you need to catch him 'in the act'
Is there still an RO in place ? I don't know how expensive it is, but you could look into installing video surveillance.
This must feel like banging your head against the wall......all of the aggravation just because he can't follow a specific CO.
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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I dont know if this will make you feel any better but we get alot of this as well. I really wish the divorce system was different. I have a legal document that is very hard to enforce. I wish there were other ways of enforcing it other than spending my time and energy filing contempt charges that would just add more stress on my kids - their dad already puts enough stress on them as it is.
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NewMexPop
recently joined
Reged: 12/22/11
Posts: 18
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Change your locks? How does he get into the house when you are not home? Send him a certified letter stating he is not to enter your house ever, or have your lawyer send it to his lawyer. Also request he follow the order and detail what you want him to do (inform you of dr appts, etc). Get a video monitoring device and the next time he goes into your house go get a restraining order against him. Keep track of the violations and file for contempt.
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