Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"Yeah, Sherron, since I am ignoring you, please don't send me a PM (which you can't when on the ignore list)"
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Username: gr8Dad
Subject: ignore huh?
Who are you kidding...
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7952
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If abuse = $$$$, my sisters and I should be millionaires a few times over for putting up with our stepfather's beatings for years. Problem is, we couldn't exactly walk out at age 9 since it's hard to get a job, an apt and a car. So we waited till age 17 respectively (my middle sister left at 16). But we just moved to different parts of the city, and I got a cool job paying $7.00/hr.
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english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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"english, you are an immature CHILD. And I don't mean you are immature, like a child, I mean you are immature FOR a child. That you are almost a senior citizen makes it really pathetic."
And you are a darling, really. And so mature and wise. And rational . . .
"Especially since I am not the only one who feels you caused most of your problems."
That's good for you.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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I have ignored your responses, and no replied to you for quite a while now, but you are right, I didn't bother to actually click on the ignore button.
Thank you for showing me how mistaken I was in not doing that, and for confirming to me that you are simply a trouble maker, looking to start problems. Go ahead and try sending another PM, see what you get.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Red.......I know she couldn't take legal action AFTER he was deployed and had the military block, but that was over a year after she moved out. That is plenty of time, in my opinion, to take action......especially knowing he could be deployed at any time, I would have put a rush on it.
E7......How many notebooks you filled about what you tried is kind of a moot point. You believe you tried everything. I do not believe that. I believe there had to be a way to end it in a timely manner. You have your reasons why, say, you chose not to get more credit and get a good lawyer immediately and include a repayment of your legal fees by ex with the divorce decree. Whatever your excuses are, they are just that. That solution might have worked and you didn't try it. That's not HIS fault.
I don't know the specific legalities around the issue, but I might have tried to recoup the $7000 spent on bettering his roof/house or money that was yours that he invested. Those issues, I think would be reasonable. I don't think $50,000 for SS is reasonable. That's just my opinion.
Maybe the judge will agree with you. I just don't think that's right.
I'm not expecting that you will change your mind after reading this, but I do feel your 'opposition' in this thread have brought up valid points that I think you should CONSIDER (and not immediately dismiss because you think someone is an a$$h). The judge might think like the a$$h.
As an addendum, I think the whole "I'll send some of you ALL of the info" bit is immature and irrational. I'm not suggesting that you now post it all. If you feel it should remain private, then it should be private. It does make this whole thread rather silly. Why look for peoples' opinion on the matter when they only have part of the info and then complain because they don't see it your way ?
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"It does make this whole thread rather silly. Why look for peoples' opinion on the matter when they only have part of the info and then complain because they don't see it your way ? "
If you're referring to the classic "you don't understand because you don't have all the info, if you did, you'd see things my way" line so often used by some... nothing in the pm was additional info needed to form an opinion about this thread. It was a very personal story and I can understand why she wants to keep it that way and deleted it.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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Red.......I know she couldn't take legal action AFTER he was deployed and had the military block, but that was over a year after she moved out. That is plenty of time, in my opinion, to take action......especially knowing he could be deployed at any time, I would have put a rush on it.
I am not sure of the timeframe, but deployment is not a part of it, the only requirement for someone to invoke it is that they are on active duty. Some courts will automatically do it, some require the member to request it. So I am ignorant of the timeframe.
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english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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"You have your reasons why, say, you chose not to get more credit and get a good lawyer immediately and include a repayment of your legal fees by ex with the divorce decree. Whatever your excuses are, they are just that. That solution might have worked and you didn't try it. That's not HIS fault."
Getting further into debt with no job was not an option for me. But let's say I filled out the form to up my credit limit. Let's say I pulled it off, with a different address and lesser income than when we both worked. And let's say they gave me an additional 5k. So then I hook up with an attorney, who tells me he/she can file a "no-fault" divorce one year after separation for a retainer fee of 4500 or a grounds-based divorce sooner for a fee of 5000. I choose fault b/c lawyer says I can win. Then we wait. It ends up taking about a year with his training schedule, court cancellations, etc. I have to drive to VA a couple of times, which costs more. But for the first 8 months of this wait, I'm not making any $$. After that 8 months I am making a very little, but not enough to pay the now large credit card bills. My credit is ruined. Not a chance I want to take. It would be idiotic.
"I don't think $50,000 for SS is reasonable"
Please stop thinking the 50k is all for spousal support. It is NOT. I've said that before.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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See, you keep saying a YEAR after the separation, and from NY with no job, etc. You should not have HAD no job, because you CHOOSE to quit your job in Virginia. And yes, you CHOOSE that for NO reason.
I have been involved in MANY MANY divorce cases, two for me, and many for people I know, your story is the ONLY one I have EVER heard of where the police showed up and handcuffed the guy, with BLEEDING KNUCKLES, and tried to get the "victim" to drop the case. Also, I DO NOT, for a SECOND, believe that he was showing up at your JOB, and when you complained to the police, they told you to stop GOING there. I mean that is just flat out STUPID. I will NEVER believe they looked at a stalking victim, where the "stalker" had NO REASON for being at the location, and they tell the VICTIM to stop going to WORK. And if you DID that, you are just as stupid for agreeing to it.
Bottom line, my opinion as to what happened, you left NY for Virginia, it was not all peaches and cream, you wanted out for whatever reason, and used his rage to justify quitting your job and going back to NY. There was ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to quit your job. None, other than YOU didn't wanna BE there.
And if ONE DOLLAR of the $50K is for spousal support, it is too much, as you have a MASTER'S DEGREE, and were only married for 13 months.
On a less serious side note, as PROOF that you do not deserve any alimony, if you DID, Susan would be on here telling you how to take him to the cleaners. And if SUSAN doesn't as least THINK you deserve alimony, you SURELY do not deserve it.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
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"your story is the ONLY one I have EVER heard of where the police showed up and handcuffed the guy, with BLEEDING KNUCKLES, and tried to get the "victim" to drop the case."
He washed his hands before opening the door. There was little visible blood on his knuckles when he was questioned and subdued. They did not try to get me to drop the case. Again, you are reading into it what you want to see. Interpreting it in a way that will fit your perspective. They also questioned me, doubted me, as they should, to determine who the primary aggressor was. In the end, they all looked at him with anger and put the cuffs on him.
"Also, I DO NOT, for a SECOND, believe that he was showing up at your JOB, and when you complained to the police, they told you to stop GOING there. I mean that is just flat out STUPID."
He showed up to find me. Two professors told me about it. The detective I talked to told me not to go there again, but this was after I'd already spoken to both my dept. chair and the dean about whether or not I should resign. It was they who suggested I resign and call the police.
"Bottom line, my opinion as to what happened, you left NY for Virginia, it was not all peaches and cream, you wanted out for whatever reason, and used his rage to justify quitting your job and going back to NY."
Yes, you are right that marriage to him went from bad to worse in that short time and that is why I left. I could not get him to counseling or to an individual counselor. His military friends tried to get him to control his anger. He kept saying he would. I did not need to justify anything. I fled a man who had threatened my life, who was off his rocker. That is the "whatever reason" you write about. I did not miss NY.
The spousal support you say I don't deserve is for temporary support that I should have had while the divorce was pending, not for anything after that. I could have asked for spousal support for 6 months after the final decree, but I did not.
"I will NEVER believe they looked at a stalking victim, where the "stalker" had NO REASON for being at the location, and they tell the VICTIM to stop going to WORK."
I don't understand what you mean.
"and used his rage to justify quitting your job and going back to NY."
I've said it before, you sound like my ex. Interesting that both of you have control problems with your mothers. He's claimed that we had a "big fight" and that he lost his temper a bit, and that I used that as an excuse to leave him. He also said that I abandoned him in his moment of need. I can see you saying the same thing. I can also see you doing exactly what he did, but making sure you left marks. You have that much anger in you. And you would blame your lack of control on me b/c I am immature as a senior citizen, a wh0re, stupid, selfish, and I'm sure I left out about a dozen insults.
If you were my husband, I'd definitely nail you to the wall.
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