MamaK
recently joined
Reged: 08/02/10
Posts: 11
|
|
Long story short, I live with and love very much someone who sees 41% of his paycheck after taxes (his "wife" says he's not allowed to claim the kids he keeps a roof over) and child support. He has not been able to afford to file divorce until just recently (rent on an apartment is more than one of his checks). We have a 2-year-old son with special needs.
Had I known how long he had been separated without a divorce prior to having my child I might not have stayed. But over the past 3 years I have seen how evil, greedy and dishonest his wife is, and what good is it going to do for my son or for him if I just leave? I'm not treated badly, and eventually he has to be able to get divorced from this woman (she needs 60% of his money, but says she has all the money in the world to fight the divorce).
His daughters from his marriage are almost 18. Their mother lied when she filed for child support, saying that he wasn't supporting his kids (but they had a joint account that she would empty every one of his paydays...and we can pull the bank statements on that one). This automatically put him in arrears. Also, she always tries to get him to pay for her legal fees. This is crippling him, this man can't have a life because of all the debt she is drumming up (she's taken credit out in his name as well).
My question is, due to the fact that he has one more child, can he get his child support modified? Also, according to his state's calculations, he contributes the greater half of monetarial support (he pays for their rent and utilities, as well as the girls' health insurance). He struggles to live while they go see American Idol. How is this fair?
A mutual friend in the state where he used to live (and the state where the child support is decided) said that every three years you can have the child-support revisited. All we would like is for the fraudulent arrears to be taken off, let her pay her own legal fees. He'd still be in arrears, but that'd be taken care of in a year's time (he was unemployed for 9 months several years ago). Also, why can't the mother pay her own rent? She gets section 8, we qualify for nothing because of what he "makes". We were lucky to get free services for my kid's autism.
Once the father has another kid, can the child support be re-visited? Either way, I'll be glad when the end of 2014 gets here, he'll finally be able to move on, own a home, have a life.
|
Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
|
|
Has anyone filed for divorce? He needs to do that ASAP and get a child suppport modification.
What state are you in?
--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!
|
MamaK
recently joined
Reged: 08/02/10
Posts: 11
|
|
We are in VA, she is in NC. The child support was decided in MD, and they told him that he didn't have to get it transferred if he didn't want to. He filed for divorce, she got served yesterday, but she's refusing to sign. She refused to file for divorce because she didn't want to pay for it, but now she claims she has all the money in the world to fight it.
You know, if he had to pay what he's paying for the next few years (the legit arrears would have him paying until the girls are 19, but the illegit arrears would be another yaer), fine...but we want to move on. It's been very difficult, I got very sick shortly after getting pregnant, and it's been very hard to live up here in the DC area. Where she lives the cost of living is not even a fraction of what it is here and she brags that she doesn't struggle.
He's going to contest the visitation, but at this point she's priming one child to attack me when she shows up ("say what you want baby, and I'll back you"), and the other one just feels confused. I feel for both girls.
Ultimately we just want to get the divorce done. The modification would help with the bottom line and getting our bills paid on time (I'm volleying back and forth between trying to work and just going on disability but we can't handle that 5 months of no money from my end), but if it has to stick, so be it. He's still going to be helping his daughters (even if they don't know it right now) long after they're 18.
|
MamaK
recently joined
Reged: 08/02/10
Posts: 11
|
|
Oh, and he's a federal employee, so they make sure he's in complete compliance. Not to mention, his pay is being garnished because of an apartment she got in his name (that he never lived in) with a military power of attorney that she has the only copy to, but it's not even valid, wasn't even valid then because he'd gotten out of the military years ago.
She doesn't love him, doesn't want him, but loves to exploit his name. *sigh* And it's tearing him up emotionally. He just wants to see his kids, be a parent (she won't even talk to him about them) and be able to feed himself and our son. It's not even about me, I'm going to keep bringing in money, I have to.
|
Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
|
|
How long have they been separated. The longer the status quo the harder it is to fight it.
--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!
|
MamaK
recently joined
Reged: 08/02/10
Posts: 11
|
|
12 yrs. The biggest issue is that she lied about her finances during all this time. Three days before she filed for child support she emptied out his bank account. He had just gotten out of the military, and it was hard to change that direct deposit. For the six months that he got severance pay, she'd go at midnight and take out all his money...while she was getting child support. They were in two different states. Where I live, your child support is factored into any assistance you get. I don't know if it's different where she is, but it seems like she's getting off to well...
My brother paid $900 a month for several years because of the dishonesty of his daughter's mother (she had him paying for a child that wasn't his...she had a friend in the CS office). He fought it and got it lowered to $185.
|
DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
|
|
They've been separated for 12 years?
It's not worth fighting.
Get the divorce and pay the arrears.
It sounds like his support order has not been for the full time. If she's getting public assistance, he is lucky they aren't going back to day 1 (if that's the case).
|
MamaK
recently joined
Reged: 08/02/10
Posts: 11
|
|
Okay, so even though she committed welfare fraud, she is still entitled? Well, I'm in touch with the county in that area and they can investigate.
He is not paying her legal fees, we will get in touch with a lawyer for that. The legit arrears, fine. But we're not paying for her fraud. There is no reason to do so.
|
Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
|
|
OK well why didnt he turn her in 12 years ago? You can't complain now after 12 years, I mean come on. There is really no excuse for him to have waited 12 freakin years.
--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!
|
DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
|
|
Hire an attorney then. It should cost probably 2-10K, and CS probably won't be reduced. After you turn the ex in, the state may go back the full 12 year for arrears.
If there's fraud, it's against the taxpayers, not you. If she emptied his bank accounts all these years, that's his problem. He should have payed by automatic withdrawal through the child support folks starting 12 years ago, and his CS would probably have been closer to 30%.
But, be as foolish as you want. It doesn't matter to me.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
