KoalaGirl
recently joined
Reged: 01/08/11
Posts: 22
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It's not a loss in my career...it's the effect of the economy...the same as why he's sometimes not working. Why is it different for me and not him?
I could have asked for a modification about 5 years ago and his c/s would have gone up to $750 a month (had the papers drawn up to do so). I chose not to because I was trying to do the right thing because at the time, I was making good money and the increase would have made him incredibly angry and so I made the ethical decision NOT to increase it on him.
Now, the kids are older, my income has been reduced and I am struggling at making ends meet but it's unethical for me to ask for a change in c/s? Wow.
I didn't see HIM running to c/s enforcement asking for the change in modificaton when he started making almost twice what he declared on our 2003 order.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30378
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I said he should be paying in line with his income. What you need to consider is that the same economy that is having YOU make less, is effecting the construction industy even harder. You may find that he is making less as well.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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What about his ethical repsonsibility to report his income over the last 8 years? Forget the reason, 8 years is TOO LONG to go without a modification.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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KoalaGirl
recently joined
Reged: 01/08/11
Posts: 22
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He's not making less as far as his hourly rate goes. What has changed for him is that he has stated to me that although there isn't as much local work for him right now, that he *could* drive to the city which is 1.5 hours away to stay gainfully employed but that he chooses not to do that now that he has two baby twins and is building a new home. He wants to stay close to home so that he can head over to the property after he gets off work to continue working on the house.
I agree..a lot has changed in 8 years and it's time to have the support modified.
The orignal question though is how do the new babies factor into the calculation? The reason I ask is to be perfectly honest, if after all is said and done, if the support will only go up by $100 or so, it's not really worth it to me to get him all irritated and ruffle his feathers.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30378
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Well, yes, he could drive the extra 1.5 hours. And YOU could get a second job to make up for the loss in YOUR income. Lets be honest, with gas at $3 a gallon, driving 150-200 miles a day, may end up being a wash on the income.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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KoalaGirl
recently joined
Reged: 01/08/11
Posts: 22
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And yes Gr8Dad, I do understand that economy is effecting the construction industry. My fiancee is also making about 16k less this year and is very thankful to even have a job at the moment. So total, our family income (we live together) is down $40k.
We are scrimping and cutting corners as best we can.
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KoalaGirl
recently joined
Reged: 01/08/11
Posts: 22
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Uh...I do try and get side work whenever possible...I already mentioned that. My finacee also has also gotten another source of income as a ref for youth sports to help supplement our lost income.
There are really only so many hours in a day. My main job is a critical one...if I screw up something because of lack of sleep as an example, people's lives are at stake. I can't risk losing that job OR making a small error because I'm working as a bartender at night or whatever.
He chose to have more children and chose to build a custom home and is choosing to not work all the time because he wants to be nearer to the home project.
There is nothing unethical about getting the support modified to be inline with our current incomes, older children, etc.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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8 years is too long to not have sought a recal. of child support. CS should be based on both you and your ex's current income...whatever that may be.
I understand that you've just let it slide because you didn't want to deal with your ex, but now you are at a point when you must.
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for that.
If I were you, I'd go see an attornye who offers a free consultation, and get the ball rolling.
It sounds like your ex is voluntarily underemployed, so you want to make sure that his income is based on what he is capable of making if he were working 40 hours...i.e. you want to impute his income based on full-time wages.
Good luck. Please don't hesitate any longer. Your kids deserve the full support of both of their parents. Please come back and let us know how this turns out.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Can you file for a mod with the state's dept of Child Support Enforcement?
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20191
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"Okay, I am not talking about the LEGAL sense of should child support be raised, I am talking about the ETHICAL sense. Yes, it should be in line with what he and you are making, but not because YOU are making less money. Lets be honest, if you were making MORE money, through YOUR hard work, would you be seeking to have him pay LESS because of that? A loss in your career is not really his responsibility. "
So because she was nice all these years and didn't ask for a mod, she somehow lost the right, at least ethically, to ask for one in your eyes?
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