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pinktiger
journeyman


Reged: 01/04/05
Posts: 61
I was just wondering
      #7236 - 01/08/05 04:23 PM

If you fellow women feel the courts are unbiased and treat both mothers and fathers on equal grounds?
I'm NOT trying to start an argument or anything but I know the courts are supposed to treat both sexes fairly but some posters still seem to feel mothers are at an advantage.

Just trying to get an idea of what people in the court system actually feel. thanks a lot!


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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: I was just wondering [Re: pinktiger]
      #7239 - 01/08/05 05:43 PM

I just don't see what this has to do with "Women's Rights". Maybe you could shed some light on that? I'll also point out that you've asked a very generalized question that can't frankly be answered. Because you've asked it as black and white and offered no gray. There's lots of gray in life.

--------------------
Char Fox


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Melody
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Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
I feel the courts are fair [Re: pinktiger]
      #7244 - 01/08/05 06:53 PM

although I've been on the winning end of several bouts of litigation with my ex....and I'm a woman. But my point is that the side who was right prevailed...not because of gender.

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pinktiger
journeyman


Reged: 01/04/05
Posts: 61
Re: I feel the courts are fair [Re: Melody]
      #7246 - 01/08/05 07:12 PM

thanks for your reply Melody- that's all I was asking was whether you felt it was 'fair' or gender biased.

Almost heaven- yes I realize life has MANY shades of gray but it was just a basic question on how you felt you were treated by the court system. Or better said- how your experience has been with the court system.
I happen to have asked the same question on the mens rights board and got a completly different response (of course). I was just looking to see how people felt. Didn't mean to offend you in any way.


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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: I feel the courts are fair [Re: pinktiger]
      #7248 - 01/08/05 07:33 PM

>>Or better said- how your experience has been with the court system.

My experience is that the system is unfair to those not willing to cheat and play dirty.

>>I happen to have asked the same question on the mens rights board and got a
>>completly different response (of course).

EVERYONE here feels they got a raw deal in court or they'd have no need to be here.

--------------------
Char Fox


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Melody
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Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
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Guess I'm the exception [Re: almostheaven]
      #7250 - 01/08/05 07:38 PM

I felt the system was fair, and I did nothing underhanded or cheating to win my outcome. Also, I don't feel I got a raw deal....plus that wouldn't be my reason for posting here. I post here because of stuff that goes on with the ex and the need for emotional support and sometimes guidance.

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pinktiger
journeyman


Reged: 01/04/05
Posts: 61
Re: Guess I'm the exception [Re: Melody]
      #7254 - 01/08/05 08:07 PM

Actually Melody, that was a really nice post. I doubt very much that you are the exception since I've met several nice posters (mainly on a different site I've been posting on before I found this one) that are here for the same reason. There can be a whole lot of support from others that have been in a similar situation and know how your feeling. I myself haven't been through the court system yet but am here for information and some guidance. Just knowing what my ex is like, I'm sure I'll need support too later on down the road. :crazy:
I really thank you for replying!


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pinktiger
journeyman


Reged: 01/04/05
Posts: 61
Re: I feel the courts are fair [Re: almostheaven]
      #7255 - 01/08/05 08:12 PM

My experience is that the system is unfair to those not willing to cheat and play dirty.

actually, I've heard some horror stories of some judges rulings and of course, since I'm about to take the 'court' route- I'm afraid of what it's truely like. I do realize in life it seems that those who lie and cheat tend to get ahead. Do you mind if I ask- was your ex one of those who played dirty and was able to screw you because of it or if you just feel the judge didn't want to listen to you or believe you??
(you don't have to answer if you don't want though, I understand)


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Onyx
old hand
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Reged: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
Re: I feel the courts are fair [Re: pinktiger]
      #7289 - 01/09/05 05:37 AM

My ex lied and cheated and played dirty, on many levels. What did it get him? A scolding from the courts. (two different Judges, one male one female) both told him to grow up. I would have rather seen them call him out... but I guess they see so much of this, all they can do is scold. Ex got the bare minimum of what he asked for only because it was state law (he got the house because he paid for it with personal injury money) and all the other things he paid for with his PIM. He tried to take the gifts back that he bought, (curio cabinet, wedding bands- that I paid for- my jewlery that he bought me after he got his money...the judge told him that a gift was a gift, and he wasnt going to allow recovery for them) He looked like a whiner. He asked for spousal support, it was denied, etc...So, I guess it all comes down to fairness. Oh, he also told the GAL to go F himself, and refused to meet with him for evaluation. (this is how I was awarded sole custody)-I initially agreed to joint. Blessings, Onyx

--------------------
"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"


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almostheaven
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: I feel the courts are fair [Re: pinktiger]
      #7299 - 01/09/05 10:34 AM

>>Do you mind if I ask- was your ex one of those who played dirty and was able to
>>screw you because of it or if you just feel the judge didn't want to listen to you
>>or believe you??

My ex ran off. I had past paystubs and letters from him where he boasted of his good job, etc. to show the court. But since I already *had* the child in my custody upon his abandonment, and since I'd just signed up for state assistance and was having the remainder of my divorce handled by Legal Aid, the judge was more concerned with getting to his golf game than he was in taking more than 15 minutes to pound his gavel, grant a 3 page decree, and give me the state minimum allottment of $100 in CS since they didn't "know if he's currently employed". There was no imputing income based on paystubs, and there was no time to read the letters as the judge didn't "need to see those". The letters also addressed abuse, as well as phone records of harrassment, especially when he'd call me at 3 a.m. There were witnesses. The judge was interested in none of that, said he didn't need it, and granted "reasonable visitation" to a father who's whereabouts were "unknown"...as the return address on the envelopes from his letters threatening me was not of any use to a judge who needed to hit the golf course.

--------------------
Char Fox


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