elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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My dad and his wife are divorcing and she is seeking SS. Not specified for how long. He makes about 4 times what she does at least.
They have been married for 4 years now, though they filed for divorce after 3 years. They dated for 6 years (she was collecting rehab alimony plus education expenses from husband number 1). She actually failed to turn in her final project and never got her degree (Dad didn't know that until after the marriage and he was helping her find a job that she lied about getting her Masters). So her earning potential is not great.
He purchased a home for them together a few weeks before they married in his name only, with his inheritance. They did not sell their previous homes. He remodled her previous home to add some room, rehab the kitchen, and added a bathroom after they married (they wanted to sell it but the market sh!tcanned and then they did). He saved every receipt for this, but he did the work himself (Dad put himself through college working for a general contractor so he is pretty handy). Dad JUST sold the "mutual" home for a total loss of the downpayment (his inheritance). He has a few cars he came into the marriage with she still has her car she came in with. They have a mutual restraining order - he says she attacked him with scissors and he shoved her and she fell and "sprained" her finger. Don't know her version but they both sought medical attention. HE claims that she began abusing alcohol on top of prescription shopping shortly after they married that slowly escalated to a point where it was out of control. I know she passed out once while drawing a bath and flooded the bathroom and ruined the kitchen ceiling. She also fell onto the dishwasher door and broke it. And she turned the water on in the basement and forgot and flooded it - necessitating replacement of all the carpet. Then her old house was being foreclosed on because she secretly began pocketing the money dad gave her instead of paying the mortgage. He then asked for a divorce and called her parents and told them she had a drug/alcohol problem. She allegedly came after him with scissors etc. She says he is hiding money and cheated on her. He says no, and I say if he is/did she'll never find/prove it. Because he is not unskilled at deception.
They have a pre-nup, that basically says what you came in with is yours and no SS, but she never sought her own counsel before signing it.
She wants:
Half the amount of the downpayment on the "mutual" house.
Half of everything else he owns.
SS
He wants:
no SS
Either way mutual house is a wash (but his contention is that he bought it premarital without her name with his inheritance so it is not hers in any way).
They each keep their "stuff" and homes
At my urging he has had his lawyer lay on the table his investment in her house that he is entitle to half the equity increase or compensation for his investment and sweat investment. Her lawyer seemed anxious to settle once he got that information, but she is sticking to wanting SS and seems to think he can't touch the house.
I'll let y'all know how it turns out in a few weeks...
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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I am going to scratch what I said about income before. I did a little math. I think he makes about 10 times what she does, based on the amount of mortgage he was given. I have not/will not straight up ask him how much money he makes. Based on her field I can say approximately what she makes.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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Tell me more about the pre-nup. Did she sign it in front of a notary? The biggest things abotu pre-nups is the timing. She has to have signed it well before they actually got married.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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The prenup was notarized. I am not certain exactly when she signed it, but I would estimate months before the wedding. They had a wedding that involved planning and downpayments, which he would not have made without her signing.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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She didn't have a lawyer. Did your dad have a lawyer? Or was it something they drew up themselves and then took to a notary to sign?
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Different states have different procedural requirements for prenuptial agreements. They are also scrutinized from the perspective that they must be fair at the time signed and at the time enforced.
It would seem that if procedural requirements have been met, your father's exposure is extremely limited, although in most states any equity or assets acquired during the marriage are still divisible.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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Anybody who dates a prior alimony recipient is asking for it. Anybody who marries a prior alimony recipient deserves what they get. Last year I met a 27 year old at a resteruant for a date. When I found out she was collecting alimony from her ex I gave her a piece of hanzblinx's mind and told her never to text or call me or even look at me in the eye. Needless today she will remember that date.
Edited by hanzblinx (01/13/11 04:19 PM)
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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Last year I met a 27 year old at a resteruant for a date. When I found out she was collecting alimony from her ex I gave her a piece of hanzblinx's mind and told her never to text or call me or even look at me in the eye. Needless today she will remember that date.
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Wow. What a loss for her!!! BAER
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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Regarding the lawyer - I am not certain that he had a lawyer for this specifically. Most likely it was someone who owed him a favor and did not represent him in any official capacity.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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See, even YOU suggest signing a pre-nup, now you are looking for HOLES in the pre-nup. You are DISGUSTING.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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