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DownHomeGa
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Spousal Support and Health Insurance
      #726313 - 01/22/11 09:07 AM

I am new here and and am hoping for some good info.A little about my situation, I have been married 16 years, he moved out the first time at 10 1/2 yr's then repeatedly came back and left again over the next 2 years. I filed for Divorce 2 years ago this past November. I have worked on seldom during the marriage, he wanted me to stay home and take care of the kids, which are no longer in the picture, and the few jobs I did hold during the marriage all ended because of something to do with him. He cheated once that I know of, and was both mentally and physically abusive. I have not worked in over 4 years due to my health issues and have filed for SSI. He makes over $30k a year, lives with his Dad, and his only real expenses are for his car, and I live on food stamps and relatives pay my lights and phone. I am still covered under his Health Insurance at the moment.
We went to mediation recently and nothing was decided but our attorneys are still talking. We are supposed to appear for a hearing Febuary 4th. I am asking for Alimony, which at this point they are making piddly offers that wouldn't even cover my medications and Dr's visits. I would like for him to maintain my Health Insurance, which I have repeatedly asked my Lawyer to look into but which he only did this week. They are telling us that he cannot keep me on the policy after the divorce but could get me coverage under Cobra, but that would be the alimony, I wouldn't get any additional money from him. I don't want accept this as I don't know what my coverages are under Cobra, and it would still leave me in the exact same position I am in now. Is there any chance of a judge awarding me the health insurance and money for Alimony or am I just running in circles? I use a Service Dog and was restricted form driving for most of last year due to my health issues. They started during the marriage and is one of the reasons he left. I'm wondering at this point if I should just drop the Divorce case so that I can stay on his Health Insurance and then if he files I at least will have more time to work on things rather then the couple of weeks I have right now.

Beth :confused:


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726318 - 01/22/11 09:28 AM

If say he makes 36k a year, that's only 3k/month gross, or maybe 2300-2400/month in net. How much alimony do you honestly think you'll get out of that? Maybe a couple of hundred a month.

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1966Gal
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726331 - 01/22/11 11:05 AM

Cobra for one person is probably $300+ a month. YOu also have to be very careful because if they call it "alimony" then that amount will be taxable to you.

Your h doesn't make enough to pay you an significant amount of alimony.

Honestly, if i were you, I'd drop the divorce, continue to live seperately, to stay on his health insurance until you see how much your SSDI will be.

Do you have any idea how much it will be?

How much do you receive in food stamps? Who is paying for your current housing?

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Miranda
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726368 - 01/22/11 01:26 PM

There is no way his lawyer is going to let this go so you can stay on his insurance.

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javajunkiee
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726394 - 01/22/11 04:11 PM

" Is there any chance of a judge awarding me the health insurance and money for Alimony or am I just running in circles?"

I'd say that pretty much covers it. You don't say what your illness is, but if you'd qualify for permanent disability I'd say your limited income would be better spent on a disability lawyer than a divorce one.

A word of caution: if you don't pick up the COBRA and you have a lapse in insurance you may have a problem getting reinsured due to a pre-existing condition.

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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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1966Gal
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: javajunkiee]
      #726402 - 01/22/11 05:04 PM

She said that she filed for divorce 2 years ago November. My advice is to just stop pursuing the divorce and wait to see if she gets SSDI.

Chances are that her husband will not pursue the divorce either. Or she might buy some time until he does.

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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finz
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: 1966Gal]
      #726406 - 01/22/11 05:49 PM

She hasn't worked, she is not going for SSDI, she's going for SSI which would be $600 ish a month max, but will go down if she is collecting alimony.

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Miranda
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: 1966Gal]
      #726445 - 01/22/11 08:03 PM

They both have lawyers, why would both attorneys just drop it?

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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finz
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: Miranda]
      #726495 - 01/22/11 11:09 PM

I don't know if stbx will drop it, but I think DHG should while she's waiting on SSI approval which would also make her eligible for Medicaid.

Out of curiosity, who's kids were they that they are out of the picture already ?


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DownHomeGa
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: finz]
      #726569 - 01/23/11 04:04 PM

I am not looking to get much from my stbx, but I already can't afford my Dr's appointments and medications. SSI will get modified by any alimony I receive. The children I signed over due to my health issues, the stbx then signed over his rights because "he couldn't handle them" even though my family and I were helping him as much as we could and he had never helped me when they were with me. The children were actually with my Mother and I when he called the state and told them he didn't want to keep the kids. He still pays for Health Insurance on all 3 children even though he signed over parental rights over 2 years ago, and the insurance is being used. That's part of what ticks me off so bad, he says he can't keep insurance on me after the divorce, but he can sign over the children to the state but keep them on his policy!!??!!??
My Lawyer also has all along brushed off my questions about the insurance. He would not file for a special needs hearing either in all this time, he kept saying Judges won't hear them.
At this point I am serioualy condsidering dropping the whole thing and then if he wants to file he can. I'll be in the exact same position as I am now either way it seems. Penniless and unable to work.

Beth :confused:


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Miranda
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726572 - 01/23/11 04:11 PM

Upon divorce it is the company's policy to not cover the spouse. I don't think a decree stating otherwise could force an insurance company to keep you on your ex's plan.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: Miranda]
      #726573 - 01/23/11 05:24 PM

It depends on the state. In mine, if the insurance doesn't cost anymore (which is common with 2 or more kids and carrying family coverage), the person paying for the insurance is required to continue coverage on their ex spouse.

My insurance agency told me that premiums are an average of $30 higher for everyone in the state because of this law.


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gr8Dad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #726575 - 01/23/11 05:29 PM

See, now MY insurance, even though it is family, will not ALLOW me to carry an ex spouse. Once the divorce is final, so is the insurance.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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DownHomeGa
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: gr8Dad]
      #726577 - 01/23/11 05:40 PM

The thing here is he shouldn't even be carrying a Family policy any more, it should just be him and I on there. So his financial statements aren't even correct since he's being deducted for a Family policy. I really have to wonder how much trouble he's going to be in with his company when they find out that they have been paying insurance for the children for more then 2 years after he signed over parental rights.

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gr8Dad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726584 - 01/23/11 06:05 PM

"The thing here is he shouldn't even be carrying a Family policy any more, it should just be him and I on there."

A "family" policy is usually you, your spouse, and any kids if there are any. They usually do not offer, "Just My Spouse" policies.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726591 - 01/23/11 06:29 PM

"I really have to wonder how much trouble he's going to be in with his company when they find out that they have been paying insurance for the children for more then 2 years after he signed over parental rights."

Why would you have a problem with him having insurance on them? Would you prefer he drop the insurance and keep the money?

Are you thinking about the kids first here?


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Miranda
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726600 - 01/23/11 07:11 PM

The kids are still his dependents whether they live with him or not.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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DownHomeGa
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: Miranda]
      #726619 - 01/23/11 07:28 PM

He signed over Parental Rights, they are NOT his dependents!!! I don't care about the money he's paying on the insurance, it's that the State has been making claims on his insurance and his company is paying out, when under the policy he should have reported within 30 days that they were no longer his dependents. It has also caused some problems with the Childrens Medicaid. So his Company has been paying for insurance, and claims, for children that are no longer his legal dependents, hence my comment about his company and when they find out.
And to the person who said there are no policies for just Employee and spouse, You are WRONG! If you do not have children, and do not plan on having children they most certainly offer policies for just the Employee and the Spouse!!!!! I'm the one who originally filled out all of the paperowrk when he got this job and picked the policy, they most defintiely offer one for just Employee and Spouse.


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726630 - 01/23/11 07:35 PM

You get what you pay for. Sign off now, turn the pages in your yellow pages, and open your wallet to $300/hour.

Goodbye.


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DownHomeGa
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #726639 - 01/23/11 07:54 PM

????????????????

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726649 - 01/23/11 08:24 PM

Is your ex paying court ordered child support?

What does it say about who insures the children?


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DownHomeGa
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #726652 - 01/23/11 08:39 PM

Have you read my previous posts????? Apparently none of you have!!!! Re-read them and you will see the answer!!!!!

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english7
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726657 - 01/23/11 08:58 PM

Hang in there, DHG. Lots of posters love to hate anyone asking about spousal support.

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Sherron
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: english7]
      #726662 - 01/23/11 09:09 PM

"You get what you pay for. Sign off now, turn the pages in your yellow pages, and open your wallet to $300/hour.

Goodbye. "
I'm claiming ESL here... what is that supposed to mean?


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english7
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: Sherron]
      #726666 - 01/23/11 09:23 PM

LOL, I think it's in reference to getting a lawyer...?

Goodbye :)


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Sherron
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: english7]
      #726669 - 01/23/11 09:31 PM

Gotcha... thanks :)

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DedicatedDad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726681 - 01/23/11 10:04 PM

Your posts say nothing about child support or what is ordered, or if you even have an order.

They say he has insurance for the children, but nowhere does it say if it is voluntary or court ordered.

Sorry, I can't read your mind.

You need an attorney anyway.


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: english7]
      #726682 - 01/23/11 10:08 PM

[quote]Hang in there, DHG. Lots of posters love to hate anyone asking about spousal support. [/quote]

I hope you weren't grouping me in with others because of your pre-conceived biases. I have no problem with spousal support where it is deserved.


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english7
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DedicatedDad]
      #726684 - 01/23/11 11:13 PM

I hope I don't have any preconceived biases. I admit to reacting according to the responses I've seen here, which are almost totally against spousal support.

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hanzblinx
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: english7]
      #726757 - 01/24/11 11:56 AM

You say he makes over 30K a year? lol. You fail at gold digging lady. Good luck. I make 100K+ and my ex never had a job during our 12 year marriage. She got $800/mo for 18 months in alimony. No health insurance at all. The judge ordered me to provide her with "information" on COBRA. I emailed her a link to the COBRA page of my insurance company.

PS-My ex married her lover 2 weeks ago, so she wont even get the full 18 months alimony.


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english7
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: hanzblinx]
      #726779 - 01/24/11 12:59 PM

"PS-My ex married her lover 2 weeks ago, so she wont even get the full 18 months alimony."

That's good news!


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hanzblinx
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: english7]
      #726809 - 01/24/11 02:17 PM

[quote]"PS-My ex married her lover 2 weeks ago, so she wont even get the full 18 months alimony."

That's good news! [/quote]

Ha ha except that when I emailed her for confirmation she totally denied it. Of course she lies 99.99% of the time so it's a good sign when she says she's not married, that really means that she is. Unfortunately for her I printed off her facebook page and also have the testimony of our kids and all her family and everyone that knows her. Filed a motion for termination of alimony, so if she wants to keep lying she will have to lie in court (she has no problem doing that either trust me). Of course at some point she will have to mail in her marriage certificate to the county recorder but I'm not waiting around for that to happen, hence the motion. I sent her copy of the motion certified mail to her address with her new last name and she signed for it with her new last name lol. She prob thought it was a wedding gift card. Lying cheating sack of [censored] is now off my back.


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yregna
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: hanzblinx]
      #726834 - 01/24/11 03:53 PM

DownHo Georgia,
How did you acquire this SSI inability to work ? It seems like something all divorced spouses come down with when they can't get alimony. Basically, SOMEONE has to pay for your A$$ to sit home and watch Maury, right ? Was it easy to get, like catching a cold ?

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finz
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: yregna]
      #726843 - 01/24/11 04:53 PM

Service dogs and inability to drive frequently go with blindness, TIA's/stroke or seizure disorders, none of which is easy to 'come down with'

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Avaya
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726896 - 01/25/11 08:06 AM

I'm guessing that someone who makes 'over 30k' a year, probably doesn't make MUCH more than 30k per year.....I'd cut my losses and be done with it - that is truly a turnip and you can't squeeze anything out of that.

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Avaya
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726897 - 01/25/11 08:08 AM

[quote] That's part of what ticks me off so bad, he says he can't keep insurance on me after the divorce, but he can sign over the children to the state but keep them on his policy!!??!!??[/quote]

Yes, they are still his children and nothing can ever change that. After a divorce, you will no longer be his wife and few, if any, insurance carriers will allow someone to insure an ex-spouse.

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Avaya
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: DownHomeGa]
      #726898 - 01/25/11 08:10 AM

You're ticked that he's insuring your children? For shame for shame.......

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Avaya
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Re: Spousal Support and Health Insurance [Re: Avaya]
      #726899 - 01/25/11 08:15 AM

In summary, you filed for divorce 2 years ago so I'm guessing there is no 'pillow talk' for you two, so you probably don't have a good grasp on what his parental rights are and are not and what his insurance will allow and wont allow and what his arrangement with the state is or is not. So frankly, you need to back down and do what you need to do to take care of your business and not speculate on what the state or insurance company are going to say about what he is doing, because frankly, that is none of your business.

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Eternity is too long to be wrong.


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