devastatedinpa
recently joined
Reged: 02/24/11
Posts: 2
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After only 11 months of marriage my husband told me yesterday he is planning to file for divorce. We have been fighting and having problems for the last 2 or 3 months. it started out that he was just unhappy and hated to come home to fight with me so he started staying nights at his parents house which is an hour and half away from where we live. He works about an hour from here so it was also said that he just hated making the drive home all the time even though he knew when we moved that he would have to make that drive. at one point he left and didn't come home for almost a two week stretch and then we talked and came to an agreement that he could stay one to two nights a week at his parents if he came home and we worked on being happy again. he was home for about two weeks and then we fought and he has been gone ever since. that was about 2 weeks ago now.
We were a very happy couple when we first met. It took us over a year to even get together. I was in another relationship at the time with a serial cheater and my husband knew i was in a real bad relationship so he promised me if i would leave the other guy he would show me what a great man he was and that he would give me the happy life i deserved. He said he was going to marry me and we would have kids together something i desperately want. well we got together and 4 months later we married at the jp's office. we were very happy for the first few months. then everything in his life started to change and so did he. His ex gf took his son away from him and made it so we wouldn't be able to see him for a whole year. Then she kept filing at the court to suck more and more money out of him. he was getting behind in bills because of the fact that he wasn't bringing home as much as before and all of my income was going right into bills so we were fighting over that. he works with his father and they butt heads a lot so he was desperately wanting to find a new job. really wanted to get into the military but cant due to his criminal record. also when we met he was on probation but we fought for him to get an early release from that so that we could move out of the area closer to my new job. the move was something he was very excited about as we both saw it as a fresh start for our life together. but along with the freedom to move after we got off probation came the freedom to drink and not have to be home at a certain time at night. we made the move like i said to a place an hour away from where we lived and an hour away from all our family and friends. the first month we were here was great and we loved it. then a month or so after we got here his father had a mild stroke and found out that both of them have a rare blood disorder that could lead to more strokes. so after that his whole focus became about spending every minute at his parents drinking beer and going out and doing stuff with them and i got put as the last in his line of priorities which i could not stand I am his wife and I am supposed to be his top priority. not that i didn't want him spending time with them but it was like i said to the point where he would text me and say he was gonna drink with his dad so he wasn't going to be coming home that night.
I understand that he has had some huge major changes happen to him in his life but he took all his anger and frustrations on those things and focused them all at me. he would come home all pissed off and he would get snappy towards me so i would get hurt and then we would fight. this kept going on so more and more he stayed at his parents til one day i told him if you dont want to be here just take your stuff and go and then i started packing it up. well i went to work and came home the next night to a half empty apartment the night before valentines day. since then its just gotten worse because i want him to come home i don't want us to split up so i keep trying to talk him out of it but he is very stubborn and just gets pissed off that i am trying to talk him out of it. i have apologized for not being more understanding and supportive of what he was going thru and not being smart enough to realize that he was being mean to me because of the other things rather than because of things i did but he now says its too little too late and refuses to take responsibility for his attitude leading to our breakdown. he wants to put all the blame on me and just end our marriage and it is killing me. I don't know what to do I know I deserve to be treated better but I also know that when we got together he was an amazing man and i felt so lucky to have him as my husband... I just don't know what to do and at this point he has made up his mind that he is done with us so maybe there really is nothing i can do... Any thoughts???
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Cougr67
recently joined
Reged: 02/18/11
Posts: 5
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Sounds like he is not the guy you thought you married. Although he doesn't sound like a great catch anyway, considering the probation, drinking etc. Let him go and get on with your life, its hard but this relationship doesn't sound like its going anywhere...... Sorry
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HappilyMarried
recently joined
Reged: 03/01/11
Posts: 8
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Tell him you have learned that arguing and fighting get you, as a couple, nowhere. Try to spend time with him, at home, his parents or whereever you can and show him you are pleasant and devoted to working through your issues. Men don't like drama.
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Only $2.99 at Amazon.com - Stand By Your Man: A Radical but Effective Way to Repair Your Marriage
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lonelynomore
recently joined
Reged: 04/07/11
Posts: 6
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If you want to get your marriage back on track you should check out this book. I was on the brink of divorce and it helped me get my marriage back and we're now happy again!
92ec9fo1p0ps7sdmkpkejpu7pb.hop.clickbank.net/
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RebeccaFein
newbie
Reged: 08/04/11
Posts: 27
Loc: Georgia, USA
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5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman...try speaking each other's love language to each other for 30 days see what changes.
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You deserve to lead the fine life don't let ANYONE tell you differently!
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