jennifer76
recently joined
Reged: 05/28/10
Posts: 5
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Thanks for all of the information....
The background on DH and SD is very long. What it basically boils down to is at BMs house the rule is ... there are no rules. She can come and go as she pleases, she can do what she wishes, she whines and gets what she wants. She has a friend.
At our house - there are rules. You don't go out unless we know who it's with and where you will be and when you will be returning. You can have friends over however, there will be no boyfriends hanging out in the bedroom as she can at her moms.
She is the only child left from the previous marriage in the house at BMs, she is one of 3 in our home. The same rules apply to all of the girls.
BM also feels as though its her right to set the rules for our house... i.e. we have curfews, set 'bed' (not necessarily sleep) times, but times that the girls need to be getting ready for bed, and other small things, there are no TVs, food or drinks in the bedroom, those things belong in common areas, etc. However, again, these rules don't apply at BMs, hence the bugs and dirty dishes all over the house.
SD simply likes having her mother be a friend rather then growing up, and she feels as though if she becomes a mother, can be emancipated, then she won't have to see her father and/or follow any rules.
It's been like this for years, it's nothing new, not to us anyhow. There is no reasoning with SD, and no possibility of talking with BM to try to rectify, find a solution or any kind of common ground.
So, yeah - it might seem sad that i am asking about CS, but the reality of it all is, DH is not going to have a say in his daughter's life, he's used to that. Hopefully when she does grow up, and become a parent she will realize that he was simply doing what he thought would help her become a better adult, responsible, trustworthy, etc. You can't teach a child anything just by being their friend.
Thanks again for the info.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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It's RARE that I would suggest this, BUT with 2 other influencable girls in the home and a history of the current behavior, I wouldn't have her in my home for visits anymore. Dad can take her to dinner once a week or out of town for a weekend here and there, but I wouldn't have her disrupting my home and family deliberately. It's VERY unfortunate and very sad but at 15 if dad can't get custody and straighten her out, then I would severely limit her time in our home.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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It would be difficult to correct a child when that is what you're up against.
If I read correctly, she will have to request emancipation, but it may not be granted based on the factors listed in that website, mainly that she is not self supporting. I would definitely search Maryland Emancipation on the web to get you some additional information to support your cause. Maybe your spouse can talk to his daughter, explain that its not going to work that way if she gets pregnant.
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Reilly
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 3374
Loc: right here ----->
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If a teenage mother retains custody of her own child, how can she be in the custody of another..? When an underage mother gives birth, custody of that child does not automatically go to her parents....
I thought giving birth was an emancipating event...?
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3032
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Giving birth alone does NOT emancipate.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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I doubt many would be self-sufficient at 15, and emancipation with pregnancy would be extremely rare.
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