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sunshine69
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Reged: 03/16/11
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Permanent spousal support
      #736894 - 03/16/11 04:10 AM

I am new and curious...I have a friend who is 37 yrs old and been married to a woman for 3 yrs who is 57 yrs old. The relationship was crap BEFORE he married her but felt there was no way out because of her age and they had already been living together for 15yrs, since he was 20. So he marries her anyway knowing he was already miserable. Going to bed every night thinking of blowing his head off bc he felt he could do no better. Well after 3 yrs of marriage he has left and been gone for a yr now and trying to get a divorce. She had a job but got laid off last yr and 6 or 7 mths later they called her back but she is saying she can't work bc the divorce is just taking it's toll on her. During this whole yr of being gone from the marital home he has continued to have his check sent to a joint checking account paying all of the bills and continued to go and keep the maintenance up of the home he was no longer living in just to keep the piece more or less. Now that they have been to court, she is asking for him to continue to pay all of her bills indefinately. What are the chances of this happening...did I fail to mention they have no kids and she refuses to have kids and he wants kids. Please any help or encouraging words would be great...one other small tid bit, during the whole 3 yrs of marraige they never consumated the marriage...when he would ask, she would say she didn't want to talk about that right then.

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ILMimi
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: sunshine69]
      #736897 - 03/16/11 06:23 AM

Either a troll or a typo:

woman for 3 yrs who is 57 yrs old

she refuses to have kids and he wants kids

3 year marriage- no chance of spousal support but he better get that divorce done ASAP.


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Maury
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: ILMimi]
      #736914 - 03/16/11 11:01 AM

First, on a three year marriage, spousal support is unlikely unless she has become disabled during the marriage. Then it may be possible, but is still not likely for any significant time period.

Second, a payment of existing debts is in the form of a property settlement and not spousal support. Payment of marital debt may be alloted based on ability to pay. Payment of ongoing debts that may be incurred will not be ordered.


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sunshine69
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Reged: 03/16/11
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: Maury]
      #736956 - 03/16/11 08:20 PM

What do you mean payment of marital debt may be alloted based on ability to pay? He is willing to walk away from everything as long as she pays for it. He is willing to give up or loose any and all equity in the home if it sold just to get out of this cancerous marriage.

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gr8Dad
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: sunshine69]
      #736957 - 03/16/11 08:26 PM

"What do you mean payment of marital debt may be alloted based on ability to pay?"

It means that they are not going to assign $5000 a month in marital debt payments to a person only capable of making $4000 a month.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Debi
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: sunshine69]
      #736964 - 03/16/11 10:14 PM

She refuses to have kids? At 57 it's not likely she is ABLE to have kids.

That said it's doubtful that alimony would even be considered due to the length of marriage. (Lucky for him the 15 years they lived together won't count) Not being able to work because the divorce is taking a toll on her isn't likely to matter unless she is considered disabled It's doubtful she will be considered disabled for that reason. if that were the case everyone would claim their divorce disabled them.

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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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sunshine69
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: Debi]
      #736971 - 03/17/11 01:00 AM

ok now let me ask this...what are the chances of the court deaming necessary because of her age (57) and health that he has to pay marital support for life...will they not take into consideration that this man is wanting to have kids and she can't or refuses to have kids. That just seems like if she is awarded anything like that of the such, he later has a kid with a woman and having to pay an ex wife plus take care of a new family...not sure how that will work...but...

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Goodmom
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: sunshine69]
      #736974 - 03/17/11 06:09 AM

[quote]will they not take into consideration that this man is wanting to have kids and she can't or refuses to have kids. [/quote]

Considering that when he married her, she was likely postmenopausal that argument won't fly. It's a 3 year marriage, it is very doubtful that he will have to pay spousal support. It doesn't matter what her age is.


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Maury
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: Goodmom]
      #736996 - 03/17/11 11:05 AM

The fact that she cannot or will not have children is irrelevant to any issue that can be raised in divorce.

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Debi
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: sunshine69]
      #737046 - 03/17/11 02:50 PM

We are all telling you he's not likely to have to pay any support due to the length of marriage. What other kind of answer are you looking for???? No can tell you that he 100% won't or will be ordered to do something. In the end the judge can do what ever he wants as long as it's legal, but I can't imagine the chances being any slimmer that she gets support.

To answer your other questions, no a judge doesn't care if somenoe is ordered to pay support and goes on to remarry and have children. It's a choice and I've not heard of support being lowered or dropped due to the paying spouses life choices. It would probably be a good idea to wait to hook up with him until you find out what the outcome is.

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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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javajunkiee
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Re: Permanent spousal support [Re: Debi]
      #737179 - 03/18/11 09:59 PM

[quote]She refuses to have kids? At 57 it's not likely she is ABLE to have kids.

That said it's doubtful that alimony would even be considered due to the length of marriage. (Lucky for him the 15 years they lived together won't count) Not being able to work because the divorce is taking a toll on her isn't likely to matter unless she is considered disabled It's doubtful she will be considered disabled for that reason. if that were the case everyone would claim their divorce disabled them. [/quote]

I don't know about the time before marriage not being taken into consideration. It depends on the judge and whether the law specifically prohibits it. I personally know of a couple together 10+ yrs, married for 3, and she was awarded $1k a month for life. The only way he managed to stop this supposedly unmodifiable alimony is by filing a motion based on a significant change in her circumstances, and having it heard in front of a different judge.

I've got to ask: Who in their right mind marries a 54yr old woman and thinks she has a choice about having kids?? Of all the excuses he could possibly use to trade in the old wife for a young chippy, he's using *that* one?? ROFLMAO... no imagination. No imagination at all.

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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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