new2Divorce
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Reged: 03/17/11
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My story: I live in Florida. I've been married almost 24 years now. I'm just miserable and want out. Our youngest of 2 is graduating from high school in May and we will be sending him off to college this August. I'm thinking this would be a good time to end things with my wife... We are both in our early/mid 40's (married when I was 20 and she was 18). My wife works '3/4 time' (she is a teacher) and makes a little over 40k a year. I work full time and make between 130k - 160k per year depending on bonuses. I figure I'll be paying alimony and I know no one can predict for sure how much but any ballpark ideas?
Does anyone know what happens with alimony when it's time to retire and income generally goes down? Do alimony payments go down too? Again, I'm not looking for exact figures just some kind of rough idea.
Any advice on things to do before/after I file?
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Maury
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Any analysis of spousal support would depend on many things including: (1) the health of the parties; (2) sacrifices to career , if any, made during the marriage; (3) the availability of full time teaching positions or other earning capacity considerations; (4) the marital debt); (5) the standard of living the parties enjoyed during the marriage; and (6) the financial resources including property settlment and income accruing accounts awrded to the parties in divorce.
Given the disparity in income, the length of the marriage and assuming the parties are working at their potential, I suspect that permanent maintenance will be sought and may be likely. Of course, that can be negotiated and "bought out" by a disparate property settlement favorable to your spouse.
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new2Divorce
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Thanks for the reply. I was just trying to get ball park numbers. Sounds like a lot more information is needed to even get those. We are both healthy BTW.
What about retirement? Is alimony generally re-adjusted for retirement?
Also, from your responce it sounds like it is possible to wheel and deal a lot with alimony give both sides agree (unlike CS).
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Maury
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Permanent spousal suport is somewhat of a misnomer. Spousal support may always be modified, even if designated as permanent, if there is a substantial change in circumstance (eg. increased or decreased earnings or expenses for either party). The only time that is not so, is if the parties agree that the award is non-modifiable.
It is impossible to come up with a number until your start a detailed review of budgets, income earning asets, and earning capacity. On top of that, each state, and often, each Judge, may vary in their approach.
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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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LOWER your income NOW ! Otherwise you are screwed forever. Or empty the accounts, mortgage the home, and take everything away in cash.
You are in a financial prison / slavery position. Almost feel sorry for you. Can you threaten your stbx enough to get her to forgo alimony ? After all, the most dangerous person is one forced into a corner. You are on the hook for the rest of your life.
For her, marriage is workin' out sweeeeeeeet !
Maybe this is what Maury means when he says " investing in the marital relationship " eh ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Maury
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Lowering your income now will expose you to arguments that you are self limiting your income. You would likely lose credibility in court if that appears clear.
Raiding cash accounts is even easier to trace and could likely backfire.
I would ignore bad advice from a person whose view is clouded by anger and ignorance.
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hanzblinx
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Well in Colorado temp orders require 40% of your gross minus 50% of her gross. So your worse case scenario is about 3k/month. But it will be less. I'm guessing something like $1500/month for 12 years as my uneducated guess.
In my case my ex was SAHM making $0/year and I was making 100K. She got $1000/month at temp orders and $800/month final orders. She married her f-buddy within 10 months, so I didn't pay long. Maybe your wife will get married too.
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Goodmom
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Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2011
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You stated that your stbx only works a 3/4 time job, is that because of the school hours? Or is she actually only teaching part of the school day? At that salary, I would be surprised if she is only teaching part of the school day.
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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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The guy remodeling my other home doesn't pay alimony, 'cause I pay him in cash. Lowering your income can work for some people.
Empty the accounts, sell the cars, quit your job, and live in a camper for a few years. What the heck is your ex going to do, track you down in northern wyoming ?
I do hope you see the irony of her " return on investment " in the marriage. She just wants to cash out, and the time is ripe, eh ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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finz
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[quote]You stated that your stbx only works a 3/4 time job, is that because of the school hours? Or is she actually only teaching part of the school day? At that salary, I would be surprised if she is only teaching part of the school day. [/quote]
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I think he is referring to teaching fulltime as a 3/4 job because of the school vacations and summers off.
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Goodmom
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Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2011
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[quote]***********************************************
I think he is referring to teaching fulltime as a 3/4 job because of the school vacations and summers off. [/quote]
That's my guess, but I wanted confirmation before I jumped to conclusions.
And if it is a full-time teaching position, it's full-time. Not 3/4's time.
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finz
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I feel comfortable jumping to conclusions based on the way he wrote '3/4 time' using air quotes and added that she was a teacher in parentheses. His message seems pretty clear to me.
It seems obvious that HE doesn't consider teaching a full time job.
I am just guessing this part........ When the kids were younger, he probably found it convenient for his stbx to be off during the kids' vacation periods, but now that they are getting divorced AND the kids are going off to college he would prefer that she increase her annual income by adding a summer job.
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new2Divorce
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[quote]I feel comfortable jumping to conclusions based on the way he wrote '3/4 time' using air quotes and added that she was a teacher in parentheses. His message seems pretty clear to me.
It seems obvious that HE doesn't consider teaching a full time job.
I am just guessing this part........ When the kids were younger, he probably found it convenient for his stbx to be off during the kids' vacation periods, but now that they are getting divorced AND the kids are going off to college he would prefer that she increase her annual income by adding a summer job. [/quote]
Yes that was what I was referring to. Sorry for the confusion....
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new2Divorce
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[quote]I feel comfortable jumping to conclusions based on the way he wrote '3/4 time' using air quotes and added that she was a teacher in parentheses. His message seems pretty clear to me.
It seems obvious that HE doesn't consider teaching a full time job.
I am just guessing this part........ When the kids were younger, he probably found it convenient for his stbx to be off during the kids' vacation periods, but now that they are getting divorced AND the kids are going off to college he would prefer that she increase her annual income by adding a summer job. [/quote]
Just for the record teaching isn't a full time job... I look at all the other teachers we know and they all have second jobs or are married to someone who can makeup their lack of income. I'm not anti-teacher. It is what it is. I personally think teaching should be a full time job year round and we should be paying teachers a lot more then we do. I think either schools should go year round or during summer breaks we should have teachers do training and getting paid for that training.
Also, I did not find it convenient for my stbx to be off during the summers. It was something she very much enjoyed and I was happy for her that she got to spend this time with the kids when many of her other colleagues didn't and would of loved to. As I said earlier I believe teachers should work and be paid year round and if this where the case it wouldn't have effected me one bit.
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new2Divorce
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[quote]Permanent spousal suport is somewhat of a misnomer. Spousal support may always be modified, even if designated as permanent, if there is a substantial change in circumstance (eg. increased or decreased earnings or expenses for either party). The only time that is not so, is if the parties agree that the award is non-modifiable.
It is impossible to come up with a number until your start a detailed review of budgets, income earning asets, and earning capacity. On top of that, each state, and often, each Judge, may vary in their approach. [/quote]
Thanks for the response. I guess I can go to court when I think its time to retire but I'm just wondering what restrictions/requirements are there? How far in advance do I have to start the process? Will my stbx have a say as to when I can retire? Can retirement dates and amounts be set in the original agreement to avoid having to go to court? For example: "You can not retire until age 62 and must give a 6 month notice prior to retirement. Then as of the announced date your support automatically drops from x to y."
I know the specifics can very greatly depending on circumstances but I'm just looking for reasonable ranges are.
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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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finz,
I know several teachers, and I was married to a teacher for 18+ years. IT IS NOT A REAL JOB, OK...GET OVER IT...
For example, a few times my ex came home all depressed and said the principal wasn't very enthusiastic during her performance review, in fact ( GASP ! ) he even hinted that there might be areas where she needed improvement ! She was all cryin' and blubbering about her feelings being crushed.
Later on we did get to the truly golden nugget of information about the whole performance review; IT HAS NO BEARING ON YOUR PAYCHECK / VACATION / PENSION / OR ANY OTHER REAL WORLD CONSEQUENCES LIKE IN A " REAL JOB "...
Her pay raise after the bad review was 3.5% just like it was every year, union rules, no matter how bad you screw up, you get a raise. Almost all gov't jobs are like that, no matter how much money disappears, you never get laid off, just get spanked and get your 3.5% raise.
TEACHING IS NOT A REAL JOB ! GET OVER IT...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Maury
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Apparently you are the product of teacher that did not do his/her job. However, except for the occassional ignorant anomaly, it is a very respectable profession.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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If its so respectable, why are the public schools universally regarded with SCORN throughout the civilized world ? Why do teachers get a raise every single year when the school sucks ? Oh, wait, Maury also thinks Lawyers are a " very respectable profession "
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Oh you really got me there. LOL
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finz
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Posts: 6458
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[quote]If its so respectable, why are the public schools universally regarded with SCORN throughout the civilized world ? Why do teachers get a raise every single year when the school sucks ? Oh, wait, Maury also thinks Lawyers are a " very respectable profession " [/quote]
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You realize that teachers teach at the private schools too, right ?
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