Ecr32
recently joined
Reged: 03/19/11
Posts: 1
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Ive been separated from my wife since Sept 10' Since then I have yet to fully cope with our separation. What I find particularly difficult is having to interact with her often due to our 3 yr old son. She has been seeing another man and up to recently I have been picking up my son at this guy's apt. I have been acting as if this does not bother me while in front of her, however as soon as I reach my car I feel the need to break something.
I have gotten over past break-ups just fine, but in each of those cases its been an "out of sight, out of mind" type of deal. How do you guys get over her when she is right in your face all the time?Help!
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JimA999
newbie
Reged: 06/03/10
Posts: 30
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I feel your pain. Iwhat worked for me is I started my own life. I started in with new hobbies went to theorpy and found a new girlfriend after a little time. I have to see my ex everytime i pick up my 5 year old I dont speak to her. In fact I try not to look at her. The anger is very hard to let go but you have to continue to try or it will eat you alive. Dont give her that much power over you remember you are responsible for your own happieness its all up to you. I know its eaiser said then done if I did you can to good luck to you
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denniswood
recently joined
Reged: 07/14/11
Posts: 1
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always keep your child in mind, focus on the child. you're anger is the enemy and if you do not vanquish this darkness you risk scaring and scarring your child. If you focus on the child and the child's well-being above all else, the rest will begin to seem small and insignificant by comparison. It may not seem like it, but a young boy at that age is very much aware of your emotional state, more than you can possibly imagine. Think of the child first and foremost. Develop a happy outlook and hold onto tight to this, for his sake.
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drdisaia
recently joined
Reged: 07/16/11
Posts: 8
Loc: Orange County, Ca
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Get yourself a nice girlfriend and focus on the future. Time makes this less of a problem. It did for me.
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Dr D
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babysteps
recently joined
Reged: 07/24/11
Posts: 2
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This scenario is exactly what scares me most about my final divorce. My Army husband has been having an affair for almost one year, while I've been home in another state raising our two young daughters and supporting him. Now, he says when he retires from the Army, this girl and he are going to move back here to be "close to the girls." I am so very angry with him, but have tried to keep my sanity and composure for my daughters. But, this scenario you describe tears me up inside. I know how you feel and can't imagine the pain. I do know that focusing on the kids helps, but does not take away the pain, the anger and the complete frustration of being the person who did nothing wrong to create this terrible situation, but having to deal with it and having to help our kids through it. I know it seems silly probably, but when I know I have to talk to him, I always have my music ready to play in the car right after I talk to him or see him. I force myself to turn it on, the kids start to laugh and dance and suddenly, I don't have time for him. Life and my kids are too important and maybe one day in the future I'll find someone who values that in me. Good luck...
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johnathanwal
recently joined
Reged: 07/29/11
Posts: 1
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Think through everything thoroughly, but not obsessively. Consider all the reasons you broke up. Even if there seems no reason, there there is bound to be one - and probably more than one. Understand that you enjoyed being together for a while, but if the relationship was not what both you and your partner wanted for life, it would have ended eventually. Hope it works out OK
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nhle
recently joined
Reged: 08/27/11
Posts: 1
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It can be very hard coming to terms with things especially if you still love and want to be with her, but the only thing you can do is to draw a line under it and realise that you have to move forward. You need to occupy your mind so you don't focus on her. If you find someone else then it will help you move on. Do everyhthing you can to meet someone new. Use the interent , join new clubs and something will happen. wishing you all the best
Edited by nhle (08/27/11 11:14 AM)
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