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melaniemiller
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How do you collect your child support?
      #739822 - 04/06/11 12:20 PM

I am wondering how everyone collects their child support? Do you get it directly from the NCP? Do you get it from them after they send it to the state? Or does it come to you directly out of their check? A coworker's sister, who is with the DA's office, says we should just petition to have it taken out of the NCP's paycheck. Right now, we are getting it about every 2 months (paid in full but only every 2 months). We looked all the way back to last summer and it's been like that at least since then (we are not able to look back any older than that online; DH is going to the bank to get paper statements). This year, CS was paid in January for December and January, then nothing until March for February. Now it's April and nothing for March. Plus, NCP owes over $300 for unreimbursed medical expenses. Trying to give benefit of the doubt but it's difficult because a few years back, we wrote off close to $600 of unpaid medical expenses from NCP. I will admit that I'm in fear of that happening again.

So DH is thinking of asking attorney to request that CS come directly out of NCP's paycheck instead of waiting around for her to pay it. DH asked NCP if she would just be willing to at least notify him when she sent off the check to the state (it goes to the state, then they deposit it into his account) because there is at least a week lag time, it seems. Last time, it seemed to be almost a 3 week delay, if she was telling the truth about when she sent it and when it finally got deposited. If she sent a quick text message saying "CS was sent", he would at least know it was on its way. She flat out refused to even send a text message, letting him know she had paid it. Not sure why? Any suggestions or feedback are greatly appreciated. Wanting to get outside opinions because if it's being controlling wanting CS to be paid on time, we need to know. Sometimes, our perception about things are skewed and it's good to get other's viewpoints. I guess the way I'm thinking about it is that I had to send off CS every month to an ex husband who dumped me (even though the money would be for my kids), I would continue to be resentful and ticked off about it. But if it were coming directly out of my paycheck and I didn't have to take any direct action, there would be a little less anger there. Less interaction, less resentment. But again, that's my personal opinion; everyone is different.

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Avaya
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: melaniemiller]
      #739825 - 04/06/11 12:50 PM

Since it IS being paid and not terribly late, I don't know if you CAN get it garnished. I would just figure our a way for her timliness not to affect your family - by budgeting, saving, etc. I would NOT expect her to notify him when she pays it, just more ways for her to jerk him around.

I imagine better planning on the CP's part is the best way to handle this.

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ssmom79
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: melaniemiller]
      #739827 - 04/06/11 12:57 PM

My hubby writes a check every two weeks and SD or SS usually run it out to her directly, no state involvement.

Thing is, they aren't really LATE until they're 30 days late. So if it's due on the 1st of the month, the person paying support (*disclaimer, this is how it works in FL*) has until the 30th to pay before they are officially LATE. So if she pays April 5th for March, she's five days late.

Would it be considered 'controlling' if you wanted it to go through an income deduction order? That answer depends on who you ask.


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Fishergirl
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: ssmom79]
      #739829 - 04/06/11 01:30 PM

ok this is from my personal experiance, but I dont know why it seems such a bad thing here to go through the state. I would think that for most it makes it easier as it somewhat takes the pressure away from the parents as far as having to interact with each other in regards to money. Plus they track how much someone is in arrears and it is somewhat easier to go after if one decides they dont want to pay anymore.

All I had to do is go to health and welfare and file the garnishment paperwork. My ex had stopped paying when he realized that after our divorce I was not going to let him come over for friendly visits and do his laundry.

I think the comment that better planning on the cp's part is a bit rude considering it is because of the ncp's failure to comply to a court ordered cs which is more the problem. That said, and my dh had a hard time with this as well. Maybe you both should go to a nice dinner when you talk about this :) - but, im my case..... You have to live and support your kids like your not expecting cs (child support) at all. Because even with a state garnishment it doesnt always mean you will get a check like clockwork. It also doesnt mean that they wont try and work under the table. If they do however and you find out about it, it is easier because all I have to do is call them with a company name and they will track it down. Tell your dh we can relate - so far my ex is almost 3000 in arrears in cs, and 2750. in unreimbursed medical expenses.

I dont even think you have to go through an attorney - I didnt and going that route might cost more in attorneys fees than anything else.

It isnt controlling to wish your cs came regularly but you do need to realize there isnt much you can do about it. Last time I talked to my lawyer she said I had enough to put my ex in jail - really? what is the point in that and I dont think that would help the situation one bit and would also upset my kids. You do the best you can. Good luck!


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melaniemiller
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: Fishergirl]
      #739832 - 04/06/11 02:35 PM

Thanks for the feedback...this is why I asked. I tend to see things from one viewpoint and it's hard to "think outside the box". And we do try to budget accordingly but recently, there have been some expenses that caused us to go outside our budget ($1600 oral surgery, $1300 epidural, $1400 root canals, and monthly medications for SD that is almost $100). So we are having to find money elsewhere. It doesn't help that in July, our benefits are being decreased drastically. Deductible is going up to $4000, they are taking away vision, dental is being slashed, and they are no longer covering copays (we will have to pay full cost of the doctor's appointment, etc). They are trying to balance the state budget on the backs of the state employee's, I suspect....lol.

I think some of my DH's frustration regarding the whole CS issue comes from all the years of dealing with his ex over the money portion of the divorce. It wasn't until he filed for a modification in CS did she try to file for a modification in visitation and so on. For years, she was paying $200 for their 2 children at one point, when he tried to get an adjustment, she up and quit her job. She didn't work for almost 6 years. She is finally employed again but we found out she isn't claiming about $900 in income/living assistance, which is affecting how much she's required to pay in CS. It would raise the amount she's supposed to pay from $390 to $615/month. DH decided not to pursue it because frankly, he's fed up her games and doesn't really care. It will be nice when the kiddos turn 18 and all of that is over with! Although I know realistically, it doesn't end there (then there are marriages, babies, grandchildren, etc. LOL).

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Fishergirl
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: melaniemiller]
      #739857 - 04/06/11 06:22 PM

I hear ya - our last set of medical expenses was my daughters tooth that went bad. No offence to dentists but dang they are spendy. We recently had to purchase new hearing aides for my son which we didnt even try to see if ex would pay for some of the expense. My dh knows that kids are spendy, he has 4 grown kids but I do know that it is hard for him to pay all the medical expenses for my kids and watch my ex just ignore it and then harrass us all the time.

It happens and you deal the best you can. If anything you learn you arent alone in this. My ex filed a modification and then told ex it was specifically to reduce cs. When it was all said and done he doesnt even try and take all the time he swore he had to have.

Good luck!


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melaniemiller
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: Fishergirl]
      #739865 - 04/06/11 07:39 PM

Yes, dentists are expensive! I think I went into the wrong field...nursing doesn't pay nearly enough = ) I'm always shocked when I get an estimate for work from the dentist/periodontist/endodontist, etc. Thank God all three kiddos have good teeth....for now (they just had a check up and the older 2 have the beginnings of some issues). I swear I've sent my dentist's kids to college....lol!

As for the CS issue, part of me doesn't care because in essence, they are "my" kids, too. But then I get wrapped up in the principle that she helped make these two kids and supporting them (honestly) is the right thing to do. I don't see my husband and I ever getting divorced but if we did, I can't imagine fudging my income to try and lower the amount of money I pay towards my kid. But that's because I would see the money going towards my kid and NOT my husband. Maybe that's why some NCP's get upset? I don't know. I do know how my father saw it and how his wife saw it....many times over the years, I got to hear him say how he hated sending money to my mother and that my mother was taking all his money, blah, blah. It made me resent him a lot and also made me feel sorry for him at the same time. Created a lot of messed up feelings and maybe that's why I wouldn't repeat the behavior. Doesn't mean I would let my husband take advantage of me and take way more CS than is necessary but I hardly think $390 to help support two children is extragavant. But again, that's my perception. I'm going by what I know my friends, co-workers, and family have to pay in CS and it's quite a bit more than that (and yes, I know it goes by income...NCP is capable of making a good income as she has at least 4 years of college, maybe 6).

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My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations.


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gr8Dad
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: melaniemiller]
      #739868 - 04/06/11 07:42 PM

What is this, "collecting child support" thing you speak of? LMAO!

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jaiye
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: melaniemiller]
      #739941 - 04/07/11 01:25 AM

I think wage assignment is the best way to go. If they are getting paid then you are getting paid. It is supposedly required for all new CS orders here in MO.

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melaniemiller
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Re: How do you collect your child support? [Re: jaiye]
      #740034 - 04/07/11 01:26 PM

According the DA here, that is how they are doing it now as well...going directly from wages.

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My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations.


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