whp
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/11
Posts: 13
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I have been divorced 8 years and my current order does not spell out who is to pay what for college. My ex-husband and I have not been able to resolve this amongst ourselves so we are in the process of preparing for pre-trial.
He proposes the following in his pre-trial memorandum:
• Change joint legal custody to joint custody (son will be 18 in two months).
• Reduce child support order by $185/wk (I have two sons, current order says support stays in place if child is in college, ex-husband is asking that support cease for oldest son once he turns 18).
• For college tuition and expenses to be split 50/50.
• Increase in my contribution towards oop medical expenses ( I currently pay the first $100 on each child and then we split medical expenses 50/50.
My memorandum proposes:
College education and expenses should be split income proportionate based on the cost of an in-state university (we reside in Massachusetts so I would use UMass Amherst in-state tuition 21K)
Facts & Figures. He makes almost three times what I make a year and we are both remarried and there are no stepchildren or other biological children involved. I think we agree we would like to both leave our spouses out of the financial equation.
The children split their time between our homes roughly 60% my home and 40% his home.
Can he change the custody agreement when my son is just shy of 18?
Is there a chance that support will be eliminated?
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"Can he change the custody agreement when my son is just shy of 18?"
Aren't YOU Asking to change the agreement as well to address college? You want HIM to pay YOU support while the child is in college, but don't want to pay for half of college?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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whp
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/11
Posts: 13
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I'm asking for clarification of an agreement that has no outline for how college is to be paid.
My son is applying to $60K colleges and I do not make $60K a year. What I'm asking the court for is a fair breakdown on who should pay what based on our incomes.
I absolutely want to contribute to my son's college education. If my support needs to be reduced than that is ok as well.
I'm confused why it should end completely when it states it should continue if the child is enrolled in secondary education.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"My son is applying to $60K colleges and I do not make $60K a year. What I'm asking the court for is a fair breakdown on who should pay what based on our incomes."
Hoiw much do you think your SON should pay?
"I absolutely want to contribute to my son's college education. If my support needs to be reduced than that is ok as well."
Now I would like you to consider how this sounds. Your "child" will be an adult, living AWAY from home at school, which you want HIM to pay more than you for, but you are still EXPECTING that Dad will pay YOU for the the support of the "child". Seems Dad is getting hit TWICE< once in child support, and again in paying more for school.
"I'm confused why it should end completely when it states it should continue if the child is enrolled in secondary education."
Okay, if Dad is paying the COLLEGE for the child's support (tuition, books, food dorms, etc), why should he ALSO have to pay YOU for that SAME support?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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He pays enough CS that it 'could' be cut by $185 per week and he has the child 40% of the time? Wow.....I'm not sure where to start.
The kid got no scholarships?
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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whp
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/11
Posts: 13
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I do think my son should contribute but during the school year he was only able to work one day a week due to his sports schedule. He will work this summer and contribute some towards his eduction.
I agree to reducing the support but I will still be required to provide clothing, haircuts, contact lenses, etc to my son while he is in college. He will not be working at least the first year since he will have no car.
Again I'm not asking for the same support, I'm asking for it not to completely end when he is 18 and I'm still responsible for supporting him.
Why is it wrong for the cost of college to be split income proportionate between parents?
Yes, he did get one scholarship which I have since requested an increase in if possible. He is considering attending that school. After the scholarship we will still have a balance that will need to be paid for.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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I don't think it's wrong for the cost of college to be split income proportionate IF both parents can afford to contribute that much and IF they both want to contribute that much.
Is he going to UMass ? Did he get the Adams scholarship ?
Is this a case of both households will be struggling to pay college expenses and he may have to look into commuting to a local school ? Or is this a case where both households could make a more expensive college happen, but are reluctant to pay more than they have to/think their share should be ? If it's the latter.....I think canceling the CS for that kid and dividing college expenses to be income proportionate would be fair.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Your son may need to scale back on the $60K a year colleges and think about something locally for the first couple of years.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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[quote]Your son may need to scale back on the $60K a year colleges and think about something locally for the first couple of years. [/quote]
Holy friggin cow. My tuition was 4K/year and my parents didn't pay a penny. I dont get this "entitlement" mindset. Women need a reality check before the get to busy spending other peoples money. If you want a 60K school how about YOU get a 2nd and 3rd job to pay for and stop spending your ex's money.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Can he change the custody agreement when my son is just shy of 18?"
Aren't YOU Asking to change the agreement as well to address college? You want HIM to pay YOU support while the child is in college, but don't want to pay for half of college?
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I would agree, if I were your X I would either pay CS or pay for 50% of the college costs. I don't think any parent should be forced to pay for an adult child's college expenses.
You could use the CS your X pays to pay for your son's college. Your son could take out a loan or see if he qualifies for work study to pay for HIS share of college and expenses.
I believe that most children should pay for SOME portion of their college, the child needs to have financial consequences for their choices (what if he fails his first year? Then you and Dad are out $20k??).
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