Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
|
|
I'm confused why it should end completely when it states it should continue if the child is enrolled in secondary education.
That could be the problem, the definition of secondary education may not be what you think it is. This is an opportunity to hold the parents hostage. Kid selects a 60K college, and poof, parents are in contempt if they cannot afford it. How about you figure out a base amount that will both be responsible for, maybe 4-5k each, or whatever is realistic, and that is what you will contribute as a max. Let Mr. ready to tackle the world, actually start tackling...that 18 year old has a long time to pay back some student loans, you guys don't have so long until you retire....anything above the max is what you guys want to contribute, just like in an intact family, the people whose money it is, get to decide what they can afford.
|
SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
|
|
HOw about Mr. 60K for college be encouraged to join the military to pay for his own college costs?
|
whp
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/11
Posts: 13
|
|
It is my ex-husband who is encouraging my son to attend the 60K schools. I have encouraged him to apply to UMass Amherst and Marist (where he was awarded a scholarship). My ex husband believes our son should attend wherever he wants but end cs when he turns 18 and require me to pay 50/50 of the cost of the school. For the record I don't make 60K a year so how can I pay 1/2 of that cost and have cs dropped as well.
|
M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
|
|
You can't expect him to pay CS AND half of college. It's not gonna happen.
|
gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
|
|
Has it occured to you that maybe he is encouraging the child to SHOW you how ridiculous YOUR request is? Think about it, you are saying he has to pay child support through college, so he is, essentially saying, "Fine, then I am going to direct our child to a school that will BANKRUPT you with your portion of the college expenses..."
Perhaps if you approached him with a REALISTIC figure, like you give up child support (because let's be honest, you WON'T be supporting him, the college will with the tuition), and he agrees to pay a income share of the college expenses.
You need to be realistic, even if they DO split it income wise, at $60K, if you made that amount a year (you said you made less, but lets use that as a figure) and Dad makes three times what you do, that means that the split would be him paying 45K, and you paying 15K. Can you afford to give up 25% of your income for college? I know I couldn't.
So my suggestion is stop YOUR unreasonable requests, and see if he will stop HIS unreasonable requests.
--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
|
finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
|
|
[quote]It is my ex-husband who is encouraging my son to attend the 60K schools. I have encouraged him to apply to UMass Amherst and Marist (where he was awarded a scholarship). My ex husband believes our son should attend wherever he wants but end cs when he turns 18 and require me to pay 50/50 of the cost of the school. For the record I don't make 60K a year so how can I pay 1/2 of that cost and have cs dropped as well. [/quote]
Reprinting that because it looks like M5 and gr8dad missed it......
Do you have a bottom line ? Maybe it's time to say I can afford $ X amount if I continue to get CS and $ Y amount if CS ends. That will mean you will end up paying a greater percentage of the total if son chooses UMass, but a lower percentage if he chooses a more expensive school.
I think it's wrong for either parent to encourage/promise a choice of schools unless they are willing to pay for that choice.
|
gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
|
|
But think about what that SAYS to him, "I am willing to pay a higher percentage as long as you are willing to give me tax free money to PAY that higher percentage."
--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
|
M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
|
|
I am one that doens't believe in "ordering" a parent to pay for half of college. I don't think she should pursue CS into college, and I don't think either one should pay 50/50. I think they should consult with the adult child about how much they are willing to pay towards college and leave it at that. The adult child should have some responsibility to pay for his schooling....and most of it if he chooses a 60K school.
|
gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
|
|
I knew a bunch of guys in high school who's parents paid for college, many dropped out, or got useless degrees like liberal arts or phys ed. As a person who PAID for my own college, I will tell you there was no scuba diving for seniors or basket weaving 101. I took the classes I NEEDED, and when an elective DID come up, it was WORK related so my job would supplement the tuition.
--------------------
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
|
whp
recently joined
Reged: 04/15/11
Posts: 13
|
|
Now this I can stand behind 100% thank you!
I am one that doens't believe in "ordering" a parent to pay for half of college. I don't think she should pursue CS into college, and I don't think either one should pay 50/50. I think they should consult with the adult child about how much they are willing to pay towards college and leave it at that. The adult child should have some responsibility to pay for his schooling....and most of it if he chooses a 60K school.
I am willing to drop cs when my son turns 18 if I can be left to determine what I can contribute with my son and not be ordered to pay 50% of a school I'm unable to afford.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
[Re: 
Edit
Reply
Quote
