midwestgal
recently joined
Reged: 04/26/11
Posts: 3
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I am a rarity, a mother who is a non-custodial parent. I allowed to my son to go live with his father because it was what he wanted, and he was going to rebel until he got his way, that was four years ago. He is now 15. When custody changed, my ex put a statement in our agreement that said that I was “unable to pay support at this time.” He also told the Court he was “not asking for support at this time.” I eventually, moved to Texas with my new husband who was a soldier, and three weeks later, I found a job. I contacted him to make him aware that I had a job, and he still chose not to request child support. As a military dependent, I remained an Illinois resident in Texas.
I moved back to Illinois after he my new husband got out of Active Duty. I hadn't been back for 3 days when my ex called me knowing I just moved back, and did not have a job yet, asking about child support. I don't understand why he didn't just ask for it when I had a job. Anyhow, after a year and a half of seeking employment, applying everywhere I could, I have had no luck yet. I still do not work, but it is not that I do not want to. Now, I do not have transportation as my car took a dive and it had to be junked.
My husband takes our only vehicle to work 5 days a week, and he is gone from 5:45am until almost 8pm each of those days. He commutes an hour and a half each way to work because of a tough economy, it was where he could find work. He is also an Army Reservist who has drills, so this complicates things further. Our only vehicle has 154,000 miles on it, and we cannot afford another vehicle right now.
My agreement requires me to provide full transportation, and my husband has military insurance which also covers my son, it acts as a secondary insurance, so my ex rarely has any medical bills. If he does, I have never seen them because he has never given anything to me, and I have never received any statements from our insurance stating there is anything owed. As a military dependent, my son has access to many benefits as he lives not too far from a military base where he has access to a Military Treatment Center, commissary privileges, etc.
My ex sent me a text saying we need to discuss child support, and I am wondering what he can do to me if he goes to Court? I am aware that the Court can take into consideration my family’s income to include my husband’s which is not much at all, as well as my ex’s and his wife’s income. There is a gross disparity between our incomes. They both work and make a substantial income between the both of them. They do have three children in their home. I have a little one in my home who lives with me, and my husband also has a child from a previous relationship who stays with us frequently, and now ˝ of her summer break. He pays child support for her, as well. My son and his daughter live 8 hours apart. He is responsible for providing ˝ of the transportation. Therefore, he has to meet his ex 2 hours away for the exchange of his daughter, and as I said I am responsible for all transportation.
My ex hasn’t brought up child support in a long time, but he just recently bought his first house, which he paid $213,000 for. I don’t know if part of him bringing this up has to do with this fact, but the only time he seems to bring child support up is when things like this happen. He never even notified me of his move formally. I found out from my sister that he was moving because my son told her. So, I also doubt he notified the Court. They moved about 20 minutes away from their former residence, and I live 3 ˝ hours away from him. I have never been ordered to pay support, so if I go to Court, do you have any thoughts on the outcome of this situation? Also because circumstances have changed and I no longer live out of State, what would the chances be of me getting him ordered to provide ˝ of the transportation? If I am paying support, is it likely I will be able to have a judge grant that?
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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You are in IL. CS is based only on the NCP's income, and it's 20% of net for 1. They won't use your husband's income, but they will use what your income has been in the past. They can also request you pay for insurance and college expenses.
As for the driving costs, that's up to the judge's descretion, and there is no concrete answer.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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IMO, for all of the years that you DID have a job and was not paying child support, you should have been putting something back. You could have (and maybe did but didn't say so) been sending $$ to your son and/or to his father even though you didn't have a CS order. That should create some Goodwill for this time that you don't have a job. It's hard for me to believe that a 2 income family not supporting a child has no money to even have a reliable (or 2 reliable) car. I think that your lack of effort in the past is just coming to bite you in the rear now. Yes, he can get CS from you based upon what you are capable of earning even if you don't have a job. Good luck.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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midwestgal
recently joined
Reged: 04/26/11
Posts: 3
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I have another child, and my current husband has another child whom he pays child support to. he works and hour and half away, and brings home only $415/week. Subtract gas for the 15 hours worth of commute time he has. (he works 1.5 hours from home), as well as the gas for the 2 hour drive he also makes for providing transportation for that child. We are barely making it, and nothing has come available for employment for him either closer to our home.
My ex CHOSE not to ask me for support. He told a judge he wasn't asking for it. He told be it was because he made so much more that I did, because we are providing Military insurance, and paying full transportation. HE felt it was a fair trade. When custody changed, I still had a job. When I relocated to the military base where my husband was stationed, I was without work for only three weeks, I worked 2 years of the four years since the custody change.
When your spouse works 1.5 hours from home, a lot of wear and tear gets put on a vehicle, so that's $$$ for maintanence. It's killing us. I live in a town of 400 people, I live away from "civilization", which is another reason my husband works so far away from home.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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He can get support now, whether there was an order in the past or not. Being unable to afford it isn't considered in the calculation. As I said before, it will be 20% of the net you used to make. Good luck. You will either have to tighten your belt and have your husband pay it, or you will have to get a job.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Why did your husband leave the military for a job making only $415 a WEEK?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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BeckaLeigh32
member
Reged: 03/15/11
Posts: 119
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I hope this doesn't come across as mean, but realistically, the fact that your husband commutes 1.5 hrs to and from work is not your oldest child's problem. The judge is not going to care that you can't find a job, it is still going to be your responsibility to help support your son.
Your X buying a new house doesn't matter.
You going on to have another child doesn't matter.
You only having one vehicle to your household doesn't matter.
You having an older child that you are NCP to matters. You have a legal and moral obligation to that child, just like the one that lives in your household.
As for having your X provide 1/2 of the transportation? I would say that depends on how the judge who handles your case feels about things like this.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Move to be bigger town that has some employment opportunity
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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I guess what bugs me MOST about this post it that it REALLY comes down to this, "My ex gave me a HUGE break for YEARS on paying to support our child, and now he is being UNREASONABLE by asking me about supporting our child."
Kinda comes across as "wrong", KWIM?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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He brings home $830 every 2 weeks. That is not a bad salary in some areas of the country.
This whol story is crazy. Why would you choose to relocate to a town where you coudln't get a job? That is a choice.
Like some tell the NCP fathers, your choice to have a 2nd family does not play a factor in this. You are still responsible for supporting your first child.
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