LexieBelle
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Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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[quote]Haha you should come here more often! You're a standard recommendation. [/quote]
You're joking right? lol. I really don't visit this one that often. Once in a while if I happen to think of it or whatever. Happened to catch the other issue a few days ago, that's rare for me.
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Cassie23
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Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I agree- he won't pay more, at least not in NY- I was given a situation of a parent who was trying to do the right thing and in the end it didn't work out for him.
I do hear of NY courts (specifically) who do split the visitation costs regardless of who moves- however she is willing to take that cost as her own.
I am, particularly, more concerned about how the move will play out for THEIR SON. I think with him being such a young age the strain of FULL vacations and summers could be tough for such a young child who isn't used to that along with the actual flights to get there and back.
I know that part of NY does things different, I know of a parent who was BLOCKED from a move that was 100 miles away, the father had joint custody. I think if she has sole custody her chances are greater.
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Cassie23
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Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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Basically, I'm trying to figure out how to present a valid argument for the mediator to rule in my favor when we go to court in two weeks, as going to trial will cause me to lose my spot in the program (it starts in august).
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Please let us know how to turns out! I don't know if I am reading this correctly? You say you are going to a mediator in two weeks, but I don't believe mediators RULE on anything. They are there to help both sides comes to a mutually satisfying agreement. A mediator facilitates the meeting between the two parents. Make sure you have everything spelled out on paper so your X can actually SEE what you are proposing.
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LexieBelle
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Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Again, this is a TEMPORARY move. It's not permanent. Yeah he'll have to adjust. Kids adjust. And she sounds VERY willing to do what it takes to help make that happen.
Look, fact is? The stability in the child's life isn't coming from dad, it doesn't seem. It would be FAR more disruptive to change custody. And she's not flitting off for some stupid reason, she's going for a very good reason and it's TEMPORARY.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I couldn't care less if it's a temporary move, IMO, that could change. She may realize she cannot complete her education in that two year time span. In two years she could meet the love of her life, and now that temporary move wants to become permanent. She could intern at a company who offers her a job right out of college. Two years- heck my sister has just met someone across country, she is moving and her and her X are figuring out a cross country parenting plan and that happened in less than 6 months!! ;)
If I were her, considering she is going to mediation, I would have it all mapped out and ready for her X. The two of them coming to a mutual agreement outside of court would be more beneficial (to all) than the opposite.
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LexieBelle
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Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I agree, she should have a plan. I thought she had already said she would be willing to put in writing a change of custody were she to NOT move back in two years? I kinda skimmed the other postings b/c of the tone/misinformation so I might have misread something.
I'd like to get an understanding of what exactly legally has transpired thus far.
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Cassie23
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Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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She may have, I skipped through too- too much stuff :)
I know my sister came prepared, it's just easier for her X to see everything on paper.
I would think that they are in the beginning stages since the first stop seems to be mediation.
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LexieBelle
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Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Ah, court is in two weeks it says. We were never offered a "mediator", maybe they're doing this on their own? There's some details here missing that might be helpful? Is court a first appearance? Trial? Is "mediation" really just the meetings with the GAL? Not sure. And if she's on LI, then she's either in Suffolk, or Nassau. I don't think they have "mediation" per se through Family Court? The judge will likely send the parties off to try and mediate themselves, with their attorneys and the GAL, if applicable. So I'm a little lost on where exactly this is at.
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Debi
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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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thanks m5m5, but theres no reason to attack people that are looking for people who have been in similar situations or know someone who has been to get some advice.
But the problem is that going to court will be 10x worse and it will cost a small fortune. If you can't handle what gr8dad, or anyone else throws at you here then you won't in court.
That said it depends on the laws in your state whether you'll be granted a move away for the child or not. If you were in my state the answer would be no way. It wouldn't matter why or for how long. The only thing that would matter is that the other biological parent doesn't want the child to leave. It doesn't matter that he doesn't see the child as much as you'd like or that he doesn't go to Dr appointments or know the teachers. What matters is he IS involved in your son's life and he hasn't abandoned him in the laws eyes.
Your x can't keep you from going anywhere but he can try (and may suceed) in making sure the child stays put.. Again, most of the court decision will depend on your state and the laws there. Some states are much more lienient than others.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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I'd say court was a TON easier than here, lol! Again, I'd REALLY like to know the county involved here. She already SAID it was Long Island, so that's one of two options. Given her income level I highly highly doubt she is in Nassau County, so my guess is Suffolk. If that is the case, I'd say the court would REALLY push them to come to an agreement and they'll spend most of their "court" time? With their lawyers trying to hash things out with the GAL, sometimes in front of the judge, sometimes not. Lots of back and forth, negotiations, blah blah blah. But if a GAL is siding in FAVOR of the move? It's extremely unlikely a judge is going to rule opposite of that. That's speaking as someone from that state, from that county, who has DONE a move-away from that county, and whose attorney is highly versed on how a move-away will, or won't, go.
Again, that's caveating that there are some missing pieces of information. Many of you are speaking from states where moves are NOT likely; however, you'll find the northeast quite a bit different.
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