c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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DS has certain things that he picks up from one house when staying at the other (phone charger, Xbox memory, games and controllers, acne medicine). Tonight I took him over to Exhole's to get his stuff. I had to text DS, honk the horn, and finally CALL him so that Ex- would let him leave. AFTER keeping him 30 minutes to 'lecture him' and pick up his room!!!! While I'm sitting in the car waiting for him!
I am furious at this complete lack of respect for me & DS. No, I guess I'm not surprised. When Exhole brings DS to pick his stuff up from MY house, DS *always* tells me he has hurry because Exhole is waiting.
Next time I think I'll just keep DS a while inside & let Exhole stew in the driveway. Then after he honks or comes to the door, I'll tell Exhole "gee it ain't much fun when YOU'RE the one sitting in the driveway is it?" Or: "well DS had to pick up his clothes and do a few other things he forgot to do this weekend. Since YOU didn't mind making ME wait, it's OK if YOU have to wait."
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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So the boy forgot his stuff, you had to take him back over, yet somehow it's EX's fault?
I heard it will rain tomorrow, that DANG ex of yours...
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3154
Loc: SC
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Seriously? You're joking, right? You're the more educated parent out of the two of you, and THAT'S your reaction?
Sorry, but it sounds like your son thought Dad would just let him get out of doing his chore because you were waiting for him. Picking up his room is not something that a child over the age of 5 can't accomplish, but your son uses you as an escape hatch to get around dad's rules, and you despise your ex so much its blinded you to how much your kid plays you against each other.
Dad getting on him about cleaning his room isn't about dad disrespecting YOU, it's more about the disrespect the kid is showing DAD.
..and its not hard to see where he gets that from.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Wow....I've read some of your posts. Your extreme hatred towards your ex is going to end up ruining your child.
Get some help. Please...for your child's sake.
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2015
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Everything on your list of what he forgets he doesn't need to survive.
I would let him live without it when he's with you. If he can't be bothered to remember it, then it must not be that important to him.
Oh, and I bet if you stopped reinforcing his forgetfulness, he will start remembering to bring the stuff in the first place.
Talk about not taking advantage of a natural consequence as a teaching method......
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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It was disrespectful to you to be kept waiting in the car while your son and his Dad argued. Absolutely. But, there's nothing you can do about it. I would be furious if I had to wait 30 minutes in my x's driveway while he punished our child. You were trying to do what is right and I get that.
In the future, I wouldn't take your son back over to his Dad's house if he forgets something. If you buy him a xbox - he can no longer take it to Dad's because he's shown that he is not responsible enough to remember to bring it back. Nothing can be taken back and forth between houses.
ETA: If anyone else here had to wait for 30 minutes in their x's driveway while the kid cleaned his room, they'd be mad too.
Edited by SRS (05/21/11 08:29 AM)
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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Thank YOU SRS. This was NOT about the chores. This was about the absolute disrespect Exhole showed me by NOT having the decency to come out to the car or even CALL me to say "Junior & I have an issue to discuss. Leave him here for a few and I'll bring him back" or whatever. We were on our way to meet friends for DINNER!!! If I had dome this to HIM believe me I would STILL be hearing about it, as would DS because Exhole NEVER let's ANYTHING go. He will bring up things that happened YEARS ago and harp on them again.
DS comes to my house.from school. He cannot carry chargers, XBOX *memory* (which I DO have the Xbox but the memory stores all his levels on it) plus his games, etc. to school. So I take him over to exholes to get it. A 10-minute RT, since we live 5 blocks apart. When he goes back to exholes, Exhole brings him to MY house to get the stuff.
We've been doing this for almost 2 years now. Hasn't been a problem until last night when Exhole totally showed me what an azzho!e he is.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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If anyone else here had to wait for 30 minutes in their x's driveway while the kid cleaned his room, they'd be mad too.
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I agree with you in most cases. In the case of c_jane I don't agree with it.
Just from what she posts here, it looks like that kid plays her like a fiddle. He learned early in life the one constant that he can always count on is her hate for his dad. He uses it to his complete advantage every chance he gets.
Kid doesn't do his homework....no problem....piss mom off at dad. Kid is off the hook and it is dads fault.
Don't turn in order form for school sales....no problem....piss mom off at dad. Kid is off the hook and it is Dad's fault.
Get caught not cleaning up room...no problem....piss mom off at dad. Kid is off the hook and it is dad's fault.
Leave clothing and such at dad's....no problem...piss mom off at dad. Kid is off the hook and it is all dad's fault.
Each and every time she posts the common theme is whatever happens should have been the responsibility of her son. However, he always manages to turn it back onto his dad's household in c_janes eyes.
That kid learned the fine art of bonding with mom by using her hated of his dad. A few jabs at dad, a couple of jokes at dad's expense, c_jane is lapping it up and that kid is good to go.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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It was unacceptable to make anyone wait for 30 minutes in their driveway. Can you leave next time?
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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This was about the absolute disrespect Exhole showed me by NOT having the decency to come out to the car or even CALL me to say "Junior & I have an issue to discuss.
++++++++++++++++++++
No, it was your son disrespecting you. You are just so caught up in you hate for ex, you don't see it is really your son.
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