Strawberry75
recently joined
Reged: 06/06/11
Posts: 6
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So the weekend of Mothers Day my husband of 11 years decided he didnt want to be married to me anymore and needed to "find himself" because he said he didnt know who he was. He packed up all of his belongings and left and moved in with his female cousin. I am now trying to pick up the pieces of my life and put them back together again. I guess im here because i want to know if there are others out there going thru same thing as me or similar and i am in need of a few friends to chat with... or vent ..
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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I am sorry you have to experience this but you have come to a good forum to find help, support and yes to vent.
My X of a long term marriage (LTM) did the same about 11 yrs ago. Told me he didn't love me anymore and "needed to find himself". And because I loved him, kids were involved, I believed him and did everything I could to try and save the marriage. Truth was.....there was someone else, other woman (OW).
Just maybe that isn't the situation in your marriage and I truly hope it is but for whatever the reason he left, the fact is that he left. And yes it hurts terribly and its very sad and just about as bad as it can get when you are going through it.
Advice, keep busy, lean on family, friends, counseling, self help books, church, exercise whatever you can do to help you through this.
In retrospect and I can only speak from my experience is that I hung on way too long trying to save a marriage that would never be saved. You can try that and I truly hope it works but if you for one minute feel that he is not coming back, the run forward and dont look back.
This is time to love yourself and be strong for you. When our spouses leave us we do need to pick up the pieces and them back together. Its very hard and it hurts but really what is the alternative.
You are worth everything remember that. Looking back at the heartache and pain of the spouse leaving and why we hang on, I just don't know.
When they leave, it is because they want out, basically.
Good luck to you, I dont mean to sound harsh but what is the saying hope for the best and plan for the worst.
Keep posting everyone here will be very helpful.
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Strawberry75
recently joined
Reged: 06/06/11
Posts: 6
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thank you annie -- you seem like you are very wise and i really do appreciate what you have said., it makes sense.
(( hugs ))
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