NinaEll
recently joined
Reged: 06/18/11
Posts: 8
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My husband and i are building a home 20 miles away from our current home. We have been renting because until a few weeks ago his ex wife's home was still in his name. We recently received 50/50 custody of his 2 children ages 4 and 6. It has been a really messy divorce for the past 4 years, anything that we try to do or decision we try to make based on what we think would be best for the kids, she does the opposite out of vengeance. Due to the circumstances, the custody evaluator suggested that my husband has the final say over education and child care and she has final say over medical and religious upbringing.
His 6 year old starts 1st grade this year so it is a good time to switch schools and have her in a stable school in which she will be able to attend throughout elementary and not be bounced around. The school she went to for kindergarten has a 43% raiting, the new one she will be attending has a 98% raiting.
Due to the move and cost of child care where we will be moving, i will be quitting my job to provide child care/transportation to and from school for his 2 children and our other 2 children. This will save both us and the ex-wife $400 a month in child care fees.
Our attorney said that we should not have a problem with this seeing as how it is within 50 miles (however, i have looked and found nothing official in Utah stating that 50 mile rule)
I understand the repercussions from the ex because of this move is going to be pure hell for not only my husband and I, but for the kids too :( (she does not hesitate putting the kids in the middle of things instead of dealing with my husband about issues) but ultimately, i think this move will be a good start to stability with our newfound lives.
We will be requesting that she picks them up on her parent days and we will do the same for ours. I know she is going to complain about the driving, gas etc. but i don't feel all that bad because she will not be paying for childcare.
I just want to see if anyone has been in a similar situation and also if anyone can direct me to a utah state code stating that 50 mile rule.
Thanks!!!
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2019
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How close were you living to the kids' mother before the move?
To be honest, it really isn't fair to expect her to share in the added cost that your choice made. And don't be surprised if the courts order the father to do all of the transportation as he is the one who created the distance.
Even if it means that the father has to pay more in child support to accomodate the mother having to commute 80 miles a day just to get the kids to school (40 in the morning to get them there and 40 in the p.m. to get them home). BTW, the kids will have that commute, too when they are with her.
I think the mother should go back to court and fight the 50/50, with her having primary. She isn't the one who moved 20 miles away. And the kids shouldn't have that long of a commute just to go to school.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Ditto to what Goodmom said.
Putting them in a car for 80 miles 3 or more days a week is not in their best interest.
Wow...Goodmom, did I just agree with you?
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Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
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Not sure if the 50 mile is a rule or unwritten rule. It may also be the difference between standard parenting time and long distance. Not real sure.
I do know that the court will not say that one school district is better than another. Doesn't matter if the State rating is proof, the court just won't pick one over the other. BTDT with my YSS and the issue at hand was educational neglect. We did live 35 miles from the BM when my husband received custody, the court ordered the the parent receiving the child did the drive. It was for a variety of reasons.
Be prepared if you do this that the BM could pick a Church or relgious place of worship which will be far from you and make your husband do the drive often for services, classes, activities, etc... The same for medical appointment could be far from you new home.
No one can say what a Judge will do, your lawyer is the best opinion for that.
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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30-3-37. Relocation.
(1) For purposes of this section, "relocation" means moving 150 miles or more from the residence specified in the court's decree.
(2) The relocating parent shall provide, if possible, 60 days advance written notice of the intended relocation to the other parent. The written notice of relocation shall contain statements affirming the following:
(a) the parent-time provisions in Subsection (5) or a schedule approved by both parties will be followed; and
(b) neither parent will interfere with the other's parental rights pursuant to court ordered parent-time arrangements, or the schedule approved by both parties.
(3) The court may, upon motion of any party or upon the court's own motion, schedule a hearing with notice to review the notice of relocation and parent-time schedule as provided in Section 30-3-35 and make appropriate orders regarding the parent-time and costs for parent-time transportation.
(4) In determining the parent-time schedule and allocating the transportation costs, the court shall consider:
(a) the reason for the parent's relocation;
(b) the additional costs or difficulty to both parents in exercising parent-time;
(c) the economic resources of both parents; and
(d) other factors the court considers necessary and relevant.
(5) Unless otherwise ordered by the court, upon the relocation, as defined in Subsection (1), of one of the parties the following schedule shall be the minimum requirements for parent-time with a school-age child:
(a) in years ending in an odd number, the child shall spend the following holidays with the noncustodial parent:
(i) Thanksgiving holiday beginning Wednesday until Sunday; and
(ii) Spring break, if applicable, beginning the last day of school before the holiday until the day before school resumes;
(b) in years ending in an even number, the child shall spend the following holidays with the noncustodial parent:
(i) the entire winter school break period; and
(ii) the Fall school break beginning the last day of school before the holiday until the day before school resumes;
(c) extended parent-time equal to 1/2 of the summer or off-track time for consecutive weeks. The children should be returned to the custodial home no later than seven days before school begins; however, this week shall be counted when determining the amount of parent-time to be divided between the parents for the summer or off-track period; and
(d) one weekend per month, at the option and expense of the noncustodial parent.
(6) The noncustodial parent's monthly weekend entitlement is subject to the following restrictions.
(a) If the noncustodial parent has not designated a specific weekend for parent-time, the noncustodial parent shall receive the last weekend of each month unless a holiday assigned to the custodial parent falls on that particular weekend. If a holiday assigned to the custodial parent falls on the last weekend of the month, the noncustodial parent shall be entitled to the next to the last weekend of the month.
le.utah.gov/~code/TITLE30/htm/30_03_003700.htm
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30369
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Since you will be off work, you should suggest that on Mom's days, you do the transportation to school, and back to her place. This way you look like the hero.
40 miles a day in a car is NOT that big of a deal, most of it will probably be highway, se we are talking 25 to 30 minutes each way. Many kids ride the bus that long or longer to LOCAL schools.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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Within 50 miles? wow
You just got 50/50 custody. I would seriously be ticked if I was the mom and after going through court you moved that far away and then enrolled my kids that far away as well. I seriously believe that 50/50 works best if both parents live in the school boundaries or extremely close.
I still cant get past any lawyer telling you 50 miles is ok. I live 9 miles from my ex - it takes us an hour to drive the kids over and back because of the location. Your really ok making these kids ride in the car all that time? Add up all the riding they would have to do for one month (2 weeks with you and 2 with mom) and then ask yourself if you would have wanted to do it when you were a kid. 50 miles just seems extreme, my decree says 20 miles tops.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30369
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WHere are you people getting FIFTY miles? The RULE says WITHIN 50 miles, the move is TWENTY miles.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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I think people are getting 50 miles because she says that is her maximum distance she can move. It really doesnt say how close she is to the school, or to mom. It says she is moving 20 miles away from her current location. Now I doubt up until then both parties lived side by side so you have to think that there was some distance between them. Then you have to assume that their new house is going to be farther away from mom because she does not say that she is moving closer to mom, just that it is 20 miles from the home they live in now.
If she is asking about the distance but feels reassured by the 50 miles rule then Im assuming she was worried she may well be too far away. So I may be wrong but that sounds somewhere between the 20 - 50 mile distance - all of which is really far to be driving kids back an forth every day to school. I wouldnt want to have to drive 40 miles every morning and afternoon to school because my ex enrolled them so far away.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30369
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Well, here is the deal, regardless of the school the kids go to, with 50/50 custody, ONE of them will have to drive the kids to the other school. Why not go witht he better school? I did suggest that they offer to do all of the driving.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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