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LexieBelle
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: greeneyes]
      #753103 - 06/23/11 11:23 AM

Umm.. courts don't bar the custodial parent moving because of the other parent, it is because of the CHILD. IF they bar it. I would be willing to bet there isn't a SINGLE bit of case law that is based on the OTHER PARENT'S best interests. it is about the CHILD'S interest. Don't confuse the two.

And I think it's rare a move is blocked, where states have rules TO block moving (and some states don't.. TX for example, has a built-in, standard 'long distance' parenting plan). And a 20 mile move? I'd say chances are next to zero such a move would ever be blocked. Moves likely to be barred are extremely long distance moves where a reasonable substitution of parenting time can be implemented. I think reality is far different than people here like to dramatize as real. I know personally and of wayyy too many people who have done moves, with barely a blink of an eye of the court. And not around the corner or 20 miles. half a country away. States away. The guy I met at the playplace. 10 years with his first child. EVERY weekend, as NCP, with the CP granted move, back and forth to NY. Two other friends, RI to FL. Another friend, TX to RI. Lady I work with here, her ex, back and forth to NY. Friend of mine just relocated from NH to AL. His ex wife relocated from NH to FL.

It's just NOT that unusual.. I could sit here for an hour and type examples. It's just the nature of life, particularly today. I still say those THAT concenred with accessibility to their children? Get married, don't get divorced, etc...

Like my ex? I have no sympathy for his having "lost" time with his children. He made a CHOICE to divorce one wife and leave their child. He made ANOTHER choice to have another child with someone else (me) and then leave us. Hard to feel sorry for someone with a pattern of marrying, having children and divorcing the spouses within a year or two of the kids being born. Those are his choices. If he wanted to stay fully involved, with no interruptions or whatever, stay married to wife 1. Wife 2/child 2 wouldn't exist, nothing to miss out on there ;) And you have child 1 with no issues. It's a matter of choice.


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Maury
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: LexieBelle]
      #753105 - 06/23/11 11:33 AM

Relocation with a child requires an agreement or a court order in Minnesota if it is out of State. This leads to extraordinary inconsistency where the relocation is a few miles across state lines as opposed to a relocation 400 miles across the state where no similar restriction applies.

Such out of State relocations are often prohibited, or more to the point, the parent can relocate, but primary custody may change.

In Wisconsin, any relocations of 151 miles or more may result in a court hearing on the issue to change primary custody and/or determine parenting time.


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greeneyes
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: LexieBelle]
      #753106 - 06/23/11 11:35 AM

They bar the custodial parent from moving b/c it makes it harder for the child and parent to have a relationship. So, that means, as a divorced parent, you simply can't do whatever you feel.

I am in PA and move aways are often barred. And upheld by the Superior Court. There is now legislation that makes it even more complicated for a custodial parent to move. There is a lengthy process one now has to go through if a move away is proposed and the NCP objects. (It is a shame that NCPs aren't held to the same standard if he/she wants to move away from their child).


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gr8Dad
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: greeneyes]
      #753109 - 06/23/11 11:44 AM

Okay, this has been blown WAY out of proportion. To get a better idea of the situation, picture a central location where Mom and Dad work. Go 10 miles in one direction, that is MOM'S house, gho ten miles in the OTHER direction, that is DAD'S house.

This is not some HUGE difference, its TWENTY MILES.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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NinaEll
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Reged: 06/18/11
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: gr8Dad]
      #753150 - 06/23/11 02:55 PM

@ SRS
"WIth 50/50 custody, you need to work with the other parent and not against them."

We have always gone above and beyond to work with his ex. I fully believe that getting along with the other parent is extremely important. Our 2 year old is actually mine from a previous relationship. My ex bailed out (after dating for 2 1/2 years) when he found out i was prego, decided to come back into the picture after my daughter was born. Although i do have extremely hard feelings toward him i am able to put those feelings aside and get along with him for my daughter's sake, my husband also gets along with him great. Point being, we are not these "vengful" people that are "ex haters". We have the ability of doing the right thing for our kids, past aside. We have been jumping through hoops for years for his ex, court system etc to make sure that everything is as easy on the kids as possible. You can not MAKE someone get along with you if they don't want to. You can not MAKE someone work with their ex if they refuse to. We have come to the realization that she will not ever change. She will never try to work with us for the kids sake because it is all about her and how "he destroyed their marriage" (Because he didn't go back after she kicked him out and then told him to come back) She is bitter and brings the kids into everything. Whether we live 6 or 26 miles away from her she will always go out of her way to make an issue of everything in our lives, so why not at least be in a place where we are happy and stable??

"As a parent, your needs don't come first. The needs of the children do. No one neeeeds a 7 bedroom house."

No, we don't neeeeed a 7 bedroom house. But we have 2 other children. We don't plan on moving again, eventually they will want their own rooms. 4 kids bedrooms, our bedroom, a guest/computer room and a play room. It's not like we couldn't live without that much room, but i think everyone wishes they could have the option of that space for their family. Luckily, we have been blessed with that option. I don't see why we would throw that out the window for a few more miles away from the ex's house. (but might i remind you again, LESS ACTUAL TIME IN THE CAR) :)


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Debi
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: LexieBelle]
      #753194 - 06/23/11 07:35 PM

"But one elects to not necessarily BE part of that choice by either a) having children and not being married or b) having children married and then divorcing."

I don't agree with that when there is 50/50 placement. If either my x or I moved more than 10 miles from where we each live now we would give up the privledge of 50/50 with no designated CP or NCP and become the NCP.

Maury is correct that in WI any move within the state that is over 150 miles needs to go in front of the court (all out of state moves do also) however that is IF there is standard parenting time and the move doesn't interfere with the NCP's parenting time.

It is not rare for states to block moves. WI is very pro shared parenting and will not easily allow moveaways.

--------------------
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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SRS
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: Debi]
      #753201 - 06/23/11 08:07 PM

50/50 has to be within our small town. Move out of town and you lose 50/50.

No moveaways past 60 miles.


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LexieBelle
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: Debi]
      #753248 - 06/23/11 10:05 PM

Maybe it is a difference of geography? Meaning, obviously, my experience is exclusively East Coast. Where I'd say moves are granted far more often than they are blocked. I'm guessing that in the midwest you don't see as much.. transplantation.. as you do on the coasts. Like the northeast, this state particularly, soooo much "big business", particularly manufacturing, has left. You either a) moved with your job, b) moved to find a job or c) found something else with a much greater commute (ie: into CT or MA).

anyway it's just not that unusual that someone moves out of here to somewhere else, people move INTO here from somewhere else. Same with NY. Tons of movement into the Carolinas/Atlanta. Tons of people relo to Florida.. no income tax, cheap housing, yadda yadda. It's just very commonplace. Not saying your experience is incorrect, but neither is mine. Different parts of the country operate differently. Very differently. Take a midwesterner and drop them into a NY workplace and they'll probably be totally shellshocked. Take a NY'er and put them in a midwest work environment and they'll likely be bored to tears. It's just different worlds.


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SRS
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: LexieBelle]
      #753272 - 06/24/11 05:45 AM

they'll likely be bored to tears....

Not all of the midwest is the same. Just like all of NY State isn't New York City. My brother had 4 acres and a log cabin in upper New York State. Didn't have cable or internet - except through satellite.


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DedicatedDad
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Re: Moving/School issues- 20 miles away in utah [Re: SRS]
      #753276 - 06/24/11 07:24 AM

"My brother had 4 acres and a log cabin in upper New York State. Didn't have cable or internet - except through satellite."

Sounds like paradise to me....away from all the electronic junk so many people have become dependent on.

But then, I'm one of those folks that the telephone can ring right next to me....and I don't bother to answer it if I'm at all busy.


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