highdefjeff
recently joined
Reged: 07/04/11
Posts: 4
Loc: NC
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I am new to this. My wife and I have been married 10 years. 4 years ago I found out she had an affair. I tried to forgive her. It has gotten to the point that it is over. The problem I have is, we live in NC. We own a house, sitting on land given to me by my parents. She has never paid a bill (including mortgage). I have paid all of them. I have spent thousands, working on the house (adding Rooms).
she has talked to a female lawyer, they call the Ball Buster, told her I would have to sell the house and split the profits. There will be Noprofits because of 2 mortgages. I do not want to sell the house. I offered to sign the mortgages over to me. So she would have no responsability. She said she should not walk away with nothing. I told her she brought nothing, put nothing into the marriage. What makes her think she should walk away with half. Why should I be forced to sell the house I love and shed blood for, because she can't keep her legs closed. I have never chatted with another woman, much less cheated with one. Please I will be open to any ideas. Thank you Jeff :confused:
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Jeff,
Your wife is a genius, and you got taken to the cleaners already ? Wasn't marriage a good deal for her ? She has really worked the system. Your only hope is to go O.J. on her, I wish you luck.
The real sad part is MOST women won't hate and despise her for what she has done, in fact, they will sympathize with her when she tells her hard luck story about how tough it was being married to a jack ass like you, working all the time and not paying attention to her...
Yep, gotta love those females....
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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highdefjeff
recently joined
Reged: 07/04/11
Posts: 4
Loc: NC
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You know what is really sad. A coward like you that has nothing better to do but cruise these posts. Posted by people who are really having a problem. You are one bold SOB, but you are smart. If you were to walk up to me talking crap like that, I would give you free dental work. But you know that. Thats why you hide. If you can't be helpful. How about doing us all a favor and get lost.
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highdefjeff
recently joined
Reged: 07/04/11
Posts: 4
Loc: NC
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Yep, gotta love those females....
yregna, you may want to try following your own advice. It sounds to me you may not of loved those females. You sound like a true woman hater. Why?
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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Ignore yregna.
You need to see a lawyer to know your rights. Most will give free consults, develop all your questions, and get the free meeting and ask what you need. Research as much as you can.
If the land was given to you as part of an inheritance, that might be separate from the house itself. You need to find that out. Dont just roll over on this, arm yourself with as much information as possible.
Yes, unfortunately it does sound as if she wants $$$$ on this. What I have seen happen is that the partner that wants the house buys out the other one, the house is appraised and it is determined who is entitled to what and that would be her payout, assuming that you could come up with the payment. But you need to get that all worked out so you know what you are dealing with.
Did she work during the marriage? Kids?
It sounds like you really must get some legal advice so that you dont get hit really hard by paying and paying.
Yes it is unfortunate this has happened to you. If your state is joint ownership then she is just as much responsible for "her" half to include the mortgages whether she paid or not.
I really dislike when people take advantage of others financially, its worse almost then the cheating. You have to deal with the cheating and then the slap of this financial demand.
Don't give up, get some good legal advice. Did your family help "you" out with money? Go back and get records. Know what the rules are in your state. In some states money given by family is not marital assets unless you co-mingled them and then thats the kiss of death as then it belongs to both of you.
I wish you the best, but please get some legal help.
If you can it might be best to calculate the worth of the house, what is owed and get the bottom line figure of what she really is entitled to...only half maybe and the maybe you can buy her out. My X brother in law had to do that when his wife left him. He had the house appraised, legal system determined what she was entitled to and he set it up to pay her off in payments. He got to keep the house. It was tough but workable.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Highjef,
You scare me dude, you really do...I'm shaking I'm soooo scared !!
It takes real balls to make a threat on the internet. I believe you are now classified as a true eThug ! Hoooray for you.
I speak candidly in some ways in my job. About 30% of men agree with me, but never when women are present. I'm sorry the truth hurts you, but your sister is probably just like the OP. I know my Mother is for sure...
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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highflying
recently joined
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 2
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Jeff, how can you say she brought nothing to the marriage? Consider that she
1) Looked after your home
2) Provided comfort
3) Cared for your domestic affairs.
In most countries outside the USA, that IS considered a job already. I grant that what she did is unfair. Yet, she also pulled her load.
Split the conjugal property in half. But demand damages.
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Make Life Magic!
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go4itnow
recently joined
Reged: 07/15/11
Posts: 1
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Dear Jeff:
First off, you are both hurt and angry and you are approaching this from that aspect. Anger and hate may make you feel good now but it is not serving you well. In this anger you think she has brought nothing to the marriage but she has. Until you found she cheated you were probably happy now your perception has changed because you feel you have been hurt.
If you are going to come out of this life challenge you must work upon seeing the positive side of this. Look at everything from a by standers point of view. In every life occurrence you can be positive rather than negative. There are no exceptions to this rule. If you can change or reduce this one aspect of your thoughts, your inner power will return and you will be able to make the decisions that have to be made much more clearly, effectively and easily.
The other positive act you can take is hire a divorce attorney. Do not attempt this alone. Even when you are 100% positive and loving, life can be full of curve balls. Your attorney will reduce the other attorneys ball busting capabilities. When getting a divorce the rules seem to change. There are going to be others who are going to have a hand in how this turns out. If you find a good lawyer he or she will take care of the legal stuff and you can concentrate on getting your head back on straight and getting on with your life.
Start asking questions of yourself like "does it now matter if she cheated" it is in the past get over it move on. Go out on the porch of the house you built after dark and sit and ask yourself these questions. In the quiet of a North Carolina night you will be surprised at the thoughts that will come to you. If they are positive thoughts listen, if they are negative thoughts disregard them. How this challenge turns out is directly related to how your thoughts of the situation are. Believe they will work out and they will. If you think you are going to be defeated and screwed over you will also receive that.
I wish you peace and clear positive thoughts. Think only about what you want to happen disregard the thoughts of defeat. Hang in there.
Dan
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Anne,
Your X-brother in law got the shaft also ? Geez, how can you continue to defend women ?
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Jeff,
If you are angry now, I can't wait to see how you feel then the lawyers, judges, and every woman you meet tells you the awful truth about marriage / divorce law:
SHE DID NOT PROMISE ANYTHING TO YOU, SHE CAN SCREW ANYONE SHE WANTS, AND YOU HAVE TO PAY HER FOR THAT BEHAVIOR.
Sorry, just letting you know the truth...Of course, if YOU WERE SCREWING AROUND ON HER, you would suffer and she has every legal right to make you suffer, in fact, she has a right to demand you pay her legal fees to make you suffer.
Cool system, eh ?
--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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