SamsDad
journeyman
Reged: 04/29/10
Posts: 79
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Debi - we are so on the same page on this one. I have done a lot of thinking since I originally posted and along with input from friends and family (and knowing her history) I feel as though it might just naturally work out in my favor. Like I said, I don't WANT to remove our child from her mother but if her mother willingly allows her alloted time with our child to be given to me, I couldn't be happier.
Buckeye - that's the word on the street! It's virtually impossible to get sole custody with an opposing parent unless there are drug, abandonment, or abuse issues. Sad.
Annatof4 - I have not even heard of what you are talking about but I will definitely look into it! Thanks for the info.
A perk in the situtation was today, I picked up my daughter from the ex's new boyfriend and baby's-daddy' house (where they are now living) and my daughter said "daddy, are we going home?" She referred to the place she just came from as ***'s house several times throughout our morning chat...and that she was coming "home". It warmed my heart and gave me a little light amidst the darkness I feel most days when I she isn't with me. It made me feel that no matter how hard my ex tried to manipulate a house or a baby or a man into a family - my baby girl will always know where home is.
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annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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Hmmm, maybe they dont offer it in your state/area. I would think that every court would have some type of mediation to not constantly involve the courts in problem resolution matters.
It is sad that your child has to go through this. But, you giving her the stability that she needs is all you can do. From your most recent, it appears that you are giving her that. Sometimes, you cant control how the other parent chooses to behave. It is a hard thing to let go and say "I am doing the best that I can, with what I have".
Also as a side note, please keep in mind that your child is 50% you and 50% the other parent. No matter how you wish it were different, its not and never will be. By focusing on all the negative of the child's mother choices and actions, you will bring negativity to your child. Even though it may not be intentional. Focus on what you can control, the time that you have with your daughter to raise her to the best of your ability. You will have to put out fires from time to time. Just do it and move on. Enjoy your daughter, be the happiness that she needs.
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SamsDad
journeyman
Reged: 04/29/10
Posts: 79
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"Also as a side note, please keep in mind that your child is 50% you and 50% the other parent." - I'm not the kind of father that wishes my child wasn't something she is. I would never want to change where she came from or who for that matter. I am very fair to her mother and LOVE the good and accept the bad that comes along with who she is and what she does and nothing will ever change that. I do NOT however need to accept the choices she makes while standing by and doing nothing. Preventing my child from that aggravation will never happen and because our child will ultimately ALWAYS be the one who pays the price for the decisions her mother makes, I will never stop fighting to help her through it or away from it.
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annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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Nor am I saying that you stop fighting. I am still in that boat myself. I sometimes regret spending so much time on fighting the good fight. As it only means less time that I have spent on my children. All of the frustration and negativity can be felt by your children....that was my only point.
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