annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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Applause at your tap dance gr8Dad.
"Oh, well the MAJORITY is ALWAYS right, huh? Like slavery, the holacaust, etc" - For pete's sake man. It would be like you to bring in other issues that are irrelevant. As you do in other comments that you make. Yes, LB, that would be the exact thread I was referring too when I made the statement of seeing gr8Dad's comments. Assumptions, twisting, and stretching this WAY out of proportion seems to happen very often with gr8Dad. This only proves my point even more...either gr8Dad's way or no way. Guess the concept of majority rules passed on by.
"If YOU are comfortable with it, and the KID is comfortable with it, for it." --- Assumption. You have no idea what the kid is comfortable with OR if the child refers to her as Mom. "No, she REFERRED to the child as her son HERE. We do not know what she does in real life." - Twisting. Who cares what happens in real life?!?! We KNOW that she addressed this child as her son! That would be the problem that I, along with other had.
"I have done so when the "MY son/daughter" was stated in the CONTEXT of possession, and in the manner that the OTHER parent should have no say in matters. Completely different situation." - Hell I have no idea what to categorize this one under....Double standard? Its okay for him, but not okay for others to feel strongly about titles? Erm, really...possession. What part of the definition of "MY" do you not understand? My –pronoun 1.(a form of the possessive case of I used as an attributive adjective): My soup is cold. "My husband and I have primary physical custody" - was this statement not possessive enough for you? She doesnt have custody of this child. Her husband does. Not even this step parent is saying that the other parent should have no say nor does the poster imply any of the sort.
BTW, on a online forum, all you have is your words. Therefore, say what you mean.
But wait, hold the phone...majority is a concept??? "No, because the FACT is that a majority of the MEN on here don't CARE what they are called. There are one of two that have expressed concern, but the MAJORITY don't care." - Twisting, stretching and assumptions. FACT: I said "the majority of the comments on this thread alone" - Never said here...the entire user forum. I said this thread. When several men have the same opinion as women...could it be questioned that maybe you are wrong? OMG, the world just stopped spinning. :) Apparently you dont have to be around for ages to see that someone thrives on the drama, stirring the pot, and criticizing others... Which brings me to my next point.
"I did not criticize YOU, I commented on your STATEMENT." - Uhhh, seriously, do you know what criticize means?!?! Let me get that definition for you. Criticize –verb (used with object)1. to censure or find fault with. 2. to judge or discuss the merits and faults of: to criticize three novels in one review. I will fully admit that I am criticizing you and the poster.
For the record, I only feel that this poster has overstepped the boundaries of the step parent role due to how the "issue" was presented.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"Assumption. You have no idea what the kid is comfortable with OR if the child refers to her as Mom."
But if they are both comfy with it, its all good. That was the caveat of the sentence.
"Twisting. Who cares what happens in real life?!?!"
Um, are you crazy? Real life is ALL that matters.
"We KNOW that she addressed this child as her son! That would be the problem that I, along with other had."
So what she does in REAL life doesn't matter, because she did it HERE< she is a bad person? Grow the hell up.
"Twisting, stretching and assumptions. FACT: I said "the majority of the comments on this thread alone" - Never said here...the entire user forum. I said this thread."
Well, in THAT case, since you ONLY want to use this thread, then 100% of the men in this thread have no problem with it, and THAT is the FACT, since I am the only male posting on this thread.
" I will fully admit that I am criticizing you and the poster."
Well, that is the big difference between me and you. I do not know you well enough to criticize YOU personally, but I have read what you wrote and criticized THAT. We are not a sum total of a few paragraphs on a web site. But if you are too shallow to realize that, well, I cannot help that.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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"Well, in THAT case, since you ONLY want to use this thread, then 100% of the men in this thread have no problem with it, and THAT is the FACT, since I am the only male posting on this thread." -- Correct me if I am wrong...is SamsDad not male? I am fairly sure that he is. Ooops!
"Um, are you crazy? Real life is ALL that matters." - Do you know them in real life? Talk about taking out of context. This is a online forum....I certainly can find the line between real life and a online forum. If you can tells us how we all are in real life based on the information from this forum...I am all ears. Actually strike that...I dont need you to tell me how I am as you have been wrong so far. Point is, you dont know them in real life...any more than me. So, what is real life for them...really not relevant. Plain and simple, she addressed this forum with her problem referring to her SS as her son...therefore, causing people to be up in arms at the way she presented her story.
"So what she does in REAL life doesn't matter, because she did it HERE< she is a bad person? Grow the hell up." - You are really very dense arent you. Have I EVER said that she was a bad person? Have I? Please point it out.....waiting... right, I havent. I have said that she grossly misuses my son as being a step parent and I have eluded that she may have cornered the bio mother. Heaven forbid. However, my comments...er opinion TOTALLY warranted me and others being called insecure. Not so much.
"Well, that is the big difference between me and you. I do not know you well enough to criticize YOU personally, but I have read what you wrote and criticized THAT. We are not a sum total of a few paragraphs on a web site. But if you are too shallow to realize that, well, I cannot help that." - You just like to argue for the sake of arguing....yup, I swear you have to be my ex or his twin. I never said that I was PERSONALLY criticizing you as a person. However, I do feel that your opinion is part of what makes you who you are. But, thats another topic. You do touch a fine line with stating that we (women) are insecure. Just as I did with stating that you are overly confident, pompous jerk.
I find it eerily odd that there is no response to the double standard I referred too...hmmmm.
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MrsB
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/03/10
Posts: 6355
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<<For the record, I only feel that this poster has overstepped the boundaries of the step parent role due to how the "issue" was presented. >>
That was my issue as well. However also not surprised it was turned into more than that.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"Correct me if I am wrong...is SamsDad not male? I am fairly sure that he is. Ooops!"
You're right, I forgot about him, my bad, sorry.
"Do you know them in real life? Talk about taking out of context. This is a online forum....I certainly can find the line between real life and a online forum. If you can tells us how we all are in real life based on the information from this forum...I am all ears."
So let me understand this, I can't judge how YOU are in real life based on YOUR posts...but you can state that SHE is pushy/overbearing, etc in real life based on what SHE posts....yeah, got it.
"I have said that she grossly misuses my son as being a step parent and I have eluded that she may have cornered the bio mother."
You mean you judged what she did in REAL LIFE based on what she posted here? I though that couldn't be done?
"You do touch a fine line with stating that we (women) are insecure. Just as I did with stating that you are overly confident, pompous jerk."
Well, first of all, I did NOT say that WOMEN were insecure, I said the women on here who had a problem with what she said were insecure. Secondly, are you deciding how I am in REAL LIFE< based on what I wrote here? I though you couldn't do that?
"I find it eerily odd that there is no response to the double standard I referred too...hmmmm."
That is because there was no double standard. I suggest you learn what that MEANS first, then try again.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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Seriously, you need to get your facts straight. "So let me understand this, I can't judge how YOU are in real life based on YOUR posts...but you can state that SHE is pushy/overbearing, etc in real life based on what SHE posts....yeah, got it." - I never said that she was pushy or over bearing. For the love of everything.... Before you respond to MY quotes/statements, make sure that your response is factual. That was someone else that said that previously! "This is a online forum....I certainly can find the line between real life and a online forum. If you can tells us how we all are in real life based on the information from this forum...I am all ears." Clearly, you cannot read sarcasm well, my ENTIRE point was that you cannot judge someone from a comment that they make on a online forum... You were the one that said "Um, are you crazy? Real life is ALL that matters." I was simply pointing out that you do not know this posters real life...so how is it really everything ON A ONLINE FORUM.
I made my opinion of YOU, based off of what you have responded with...on this thread and others. It is my opinion that you are overly confident and pompous. If you choose to take that as judging you, so be it. If that is truly you in real life. Awesome, I hit the nail on the head. Either way, I couldnt care less. Just callin em as I see em. LOL
"That is because there was no double standard. I suggest you learn what that MEANS first, then try again." --- WOOOOOW! WHAT?!?!?! Are you seriously this clueless? Or do you purposely act this dense. *A double standard is the unjust application of different sets of principles for similar situations* THUS, it is okay for you to have a problem as you already admitted "I have done so when the "MY son/daughter" was stated in the CONTEXT of possession, and in the manner that the OTHER parent should have no say in matters.", but we "mostly" women cannot share your same opinion in this thread?!??! THAT IS A DOUBLE STANDARD!!!! Get a clue.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"I was simply pointing out that you do not know this posters real life...so how is it really everything ON A ONLINE FORUM."
EXACTLY. All she did was refer to "my son" after already STATING that she was a step parent. Yet YOU have decided that she does this in real life and it is wrong. Now, if you HAVEN'T decided that, why would you think she was stepping over a "line" by using it to STRANGERS on a MESSAGE BOARD< who ALREADY know she is the step parent?
""I have done so when the "MY son/daughter" was stated in the CONTEXT of possession, and in the manner that the OTHER parent should have no say in matters.", but we "mostly" women cannot share your same opinion in this thread?!??! THAT IS A DOUBLE STANDARD!!!! Get a clue."
Well, since you have been here all of two seconds, I will forgive that you have NO idea what I am talking about. The CONTEXT I was speaking off was one in which a poster (I have done so with men AND women) has stated something akin to, "She/he cannot do that with MY son/daughter", indicated CONTROLLED possession, not merely IDENTIFYING possession.
But I dared to disagree with you on your thread, and you are determined to prove me wrong, so I don;t expect you to "get" any of this. And honestly, as I have held MOST of the positions found in divorce and family law (NCP, CP, step parent, abused, abandoned, mediator, etc etc etc), I could really care less WHAT you think, LOL.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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FYI, she has NEVER made a statement that she was the step parent. If that role was clear from the get go, she would not have had my response along with others.
PLEASE go back and read her post outside of your box and your opinion for 1 second. I have. I do see a concerned step parent, but that is my interpretation. As the just of her post is due to the disagreement that her opinion is not shared with the bio mother and the frustration of that. Now with my interpretation of her words, my opinion develops.
After you have done that, is it past identifying? Yes, with even the issue in general. Having a problem because the bio mother does not agree with what the step mother has presented to her?? These are the words...not my interpretation. A step parent going as far as to ask if a change of custody could happen? Does that really NOT cross the line?
In these type of situations, you do have to put the shoes on in the posters dilemma. So, lets say that the roles are reversed. It is a step father, referring to YOUR custody and YOUR children as his. Approaches you with cyber schooling and telling you that he has gone to the school with the child and the child is very excited about it. You take the approach as this bio mother and get upset (IMO, rightly so) and the step father decides to post on a forum of the issue and asks whether the step father and the ex wife can change YOUR custody that has already been set....
The opinions of women on this thread are reacting to that this would greatly upset them. If the posters dilemma was as stated above in my role reversed example, men may have the same reaction as women have. At my very first response to you, I stated that I will defend either title, mother or father.
And I have dared to disagree with you on your comments/opinion. Most of my reaction towards you is your comment of "insecure".
I too have been in a lot of roles related to divorce and family law. Both parent and step parent, NCP and CP, have gone through EVERY type of counseling, gone through parenting time and custody battles, been the victim of abuse, deal with other step parents, every service offered through the courts and I am about to start my 2nd year in law school, specifically to practice in Family Law. Does this all make my opinion any more or less valid than anyone else? No, I really wouldnt think so.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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Hmmm... might want to start with basic reading comprehension? She identified herself as the step-parent in her very first two paragraphs:
Quote:
I want to start with an apology if I start ranting because anytime I talk about my sons biological mom I get irritated because she causes turmoil in our family.
My husband and I have primary physical custody Sunday afternoon through Fridays after school and bio mom has him on the weekends. (In the summer it is flip flopped but we still have primary physical)
She refers to "my son" and his "biological mother" in the first paragraph. In the second she refers to her HUSBAND. So, if she is her husband's wife, and she has a son with a biological mother.. DUHHHHHHH, that makes her? Yes, a STEP-PARENT. That's the role you get when you MARRY (ie: get a HUSBAND) with someone whose child has a BIOLOGICAL MOTHER!
I'll assume your apology to Gr8 is forthcoming given the entire premise of your argument is based on your inability to ascertain basic familial roles based on biology versus marriage.
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annatof4
member
Reged: 07/13/11
Posts: 125
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"after already STATING that she was a step parent" -- Did she? I see the word STATING capitalized and look for where the poster actually said "step parent". We can only come to that conclusion from HOW she has described herself. As I stated, if the role of step parent was clear from the get go. i.e. stepson, my husband's son, etc. We would more than likely not be having this discussion. He wants to be literal on "identifying" and "controlled possession". When in fact the poster exhibits the step child and her role as "controlled possession". "My husband and I have primary physical custody" - Contradictory to the step parent role...is it not?
"might want to start with basic reading comprehension?" and I apply the same to you LB. "given the entire premise of your argument is based on your inability to ascertain basic familial roles based on biology versus marriage." - This has NOT been my entire argument....have you been reading? My argument with gr8Dad is in regards to his comment of insecure and the double standards issue. You in fact pointed out his inconsistencies in his comments. Yes, these issues have been tangled with other items brought into the conversation that are irrelevant i.e. slavery, real life, etc.
You can assume an apology from me, but I assure you that it will not come. I have been told that I am shallow, need to grow the hell up and insecure. Yes, I in turn have referred to gr8Dad as overly confident, pompous and dense. We could agree to disagree. However, being on a online forum gives us that luxury to not. :) I can certainly appreciate others opinions, when they are not derogatory. Going back to my first comment to now, I have become progressively irritated with gr8dad. Yes, I admit that.
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