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Philip
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Reged: 07/20/11
Posts: 1
Loc: JB, Malaysia
How can I stop fighting with wife ?
      #756320 - 07/20/11 09:48 AM

Wife and I fight sometimes. Nothing hard in physical, but verbal and constant put downs and criticism. Barely a day goes about without something said or going wrong. We are committed to our marriage.
How can you get along with someone that you just have different opinion?


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yregna
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Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
Re: How can I stop fighting with wife ? [Re: Philip]
      #756337 - 07/20/11 10:38 AM

Philip,
When you wife treats you with contempt, the marriage is over. Since you already have an unequal relationship, and she has the upper hand, admit it and exit ASAP.

You have to pay her, right ? That is why she has such contempt for you, you signed on to pay her whenever she wants it, and NOW she wants you out of her life, but not your wallet.

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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HertsCarpetClean
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Reged: 07/20/11
Posts: 12
Loc: Harpenden
Re: How can I stop fighting with wife ? [Re: yregna]
      #756417 - 07/20/11 07:23 PM

I fight my wife too, sometimes form a little stupid thing.

--------------------
://[censored].herts-carpetcleaning.com]Carpet Cleaning Harpenden


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yregna
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Posts: 1265
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Re: How can I stop fighting with wife ? [Re: HertsCarpetClean]
      #756862 - 07/22/11 02:47 PM

I rarely if ever fight with my STB wife, besides, if we do fight, I can always leave and keep my money.

That makes for a much better relationship. Of course, most marriages would end instantly if the man could simply leave and keep his money.

--------------------
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"


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TTracen
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Reged: 07/29/11
Posts: 3
Re: How can I stop fighting with wife ? [Re: yregna]
      #758061 - 07/29/11 08:04 PM

The issue of fighting have several causes. I would suggest, you think or find out what's the cause of the fight? Finding the root cause can lead you to a solution and settle to not fight anymore. Also, finding the root cause will lead you to who is in the two of you is the cause. It's important that you will do it first, being you're the man of the family. Now, when you find the cause of the fight... set down with her in calm state, probably in an afternoon tea/coffee break or perhaps during the evening before settling to bed. Both of you talk in calmness, and talk over about the cause and share possible solutions.

If your partner isn't cooperative, ask someone who she trusted, maybe a friend to talk to her regarding the matter.


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RebeccaFein
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Reged: 08/04/11
Posts: 27
Loc: Georgia, USA
Re: How can I stop fighting with wife ? [Re: TTracen]
      #758608 - 08/04/11 02:39 PM

Philip I would love to answer this question, but I need a little more info...so please if you are comfortable PM me so we can discuss this.

My first suggestion is take the 5 Love Languages and Apology Language assessments, you can find them by googling 5 Love Languages. Many conflicts I see come from not being able to give love or apologize in a way the other person can receive it.

Often fights are not about the actual fight, but another issue. Typically they are due to pseudo intimacy, they are away of getting close to someone when we don't know what to do or how to do that. It can also be a communication style clash or any number of things.

Some fighting though is healthy.

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You deserve to lead the fine life don't let ANYONE tell you differently!


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basketman
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Reged: 08/24/11
Posts: 1
Re: How can I stop fighting with wife ? [Re: RebeccaFein]
      #760433 - 08/24/11 04:46 AM

I faced a similar situation in my first marriage. I felt that almost everything my wife said was a criticism, a put down, or a complaint.

Too late, we did talk about it and looking back, 16 years on, I can see that the problem wasn't what my wife was saying, but what I was hearing, if you follow me.

She was having what she considered was a conversation, but I was hearing a criticism.

So if I can presume to give you any advice, see if she is intending a criticism, or just wants to talk about something, but maybe doesn't have a good way to bring up the subject.

Talking is always the best solution to fighting.

Paul.


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