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Reged: 07/31/11
Posts: 1
Ex refuses to acknowledge one of my children
      #758189 - 07/31/11 11:51 PM

My husband and I are seperated. It has only been a few weeks now that he has been gone. We were together for 9 years and I had a 2 year old son when I met him who is now 11. We have 2 other younger children together. He is angry and hates me because he was put in jail for a night and is now on probation for putting his hands on me. He has stated to others that he would see his own 2 biological children but that is it. He has raised my older son and is the only father he has ever known. He sees him as his dad and the younger children don't even realize that he would have a different father. I am so upset by this. If my son were to hear this, it would devastate him. He has not tried to contact any of the children since he has been gone but, I am afraid that if/when he decides to try to get in contact, he will exclude my older boy. I don't know the best way to handle this. Any suggestions?

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8852
Re: Ex refuses to acknowledge one of my children [Re: upsetmother]
      #759067 - 08/10/11 03:47 PM

I would start by making sure that the kids understand while they have had the same "dad" the oldest has a different biological father. So at least they hear it from you. And hopefully cooler heads will prevail and he will at least still have contact with your oldest. He may not have to pay CS for 3 children (most likely) so you might start things off acknowledging that in your pleadings. It might make him a little bit more charitable when it comes to your son if he knows up front that you aren't asking anything from him other than he continue to love him as his own.

But if he does decide to cut off contact with the oldest there is nothing you can do to force him to be decent.

Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.

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Reged: 05/12/12
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Loc: Ghana
Re: Ex refuses to acknowledge one of my children [Re: elliesmom]
      #790269 - 08/20/12 11:42 PM

Upset mother, its been almost a year since your last post. How is it going with your children and their dad? Did he get in touch with them? Just wondering what happened after.

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