mcintyremom
recently joined
Reged: 08/08/11
Posts: 3
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I have a real mess - my husband is schizophrenic. We have been married 29 years. He is retired military, was first diagnosed about 10 years ago. He has been hospitalized several times and arrested twice. Things keep getting worse and worse. In the last 5 years he has quit 4 jobs and refuses to get another. His usual salary is 95k+/- and his military pension, mine is under 50k, so this hurts a lot. He is extremely paranoid and turns all his anger on his family. He has alienated all friends and family other than our 3 grown daughters and they don't like to be around if possible. He tells them that they are sluts, that their boyfriends are with them to get to him, the things he says about me are not even worth repeating. He spends most of his time researching things on the internet or screaming at the top of his lungs at me. He drinks excessively, sometimes gets violent but usually doesn't hit me. The one time he did, my oldest daughter called 911 and he was arrested. So, long story short. I am filing for divorce. I am afraid of what he will do. He writes notes all over the place, threats, little comments, etc. I plan on having the sherrif serve him. The problem is that the house is in his name as I did not have a job when we purchased it and we never changed the loan. I am not worried about my equity, and he hates it here, so I don't think purchasing the home from him is a problem, but I want him to leave after being served. If he gets violent when served, will they arrest him? Can I get a restraining order? And I know that usually his pension is considered a marital asset, but since he refuses to work, will I be able to pursue a portion of it? Anyone out there ever been in this position?
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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All of these issue have clear legal answers and procedures, but you need an attorney to get them done right.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6481
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Who dx'd him and is he still in treatment ? Going from your OP with him dx'd 10 years ago and your 29 year marriage, it sounds like he was 40 + when dx'd, which would be unusual.
If he really has schizophrenia, his problems are probably a lot more complicated than he "refuses to work."
I'd make sure he has a thorough mental health exam NOW. Finding out if he is even competent should be a priority. If a doctor decides he needs impatient care, you won't have to worry about a RO right now.
How long has he been retired from the military ? Did his mental health issues develop while he was serving ?
It really sounds like you should be consulting with physicians AND lawyers before trying to proceed.
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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my ex is abusive. I was told that if you feel you or your children are in danger you can go and file a no contact order in behave of your kids.
You really do need a lawyer who will help you get this all done the right way- good luck
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