Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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I was supposed to have 2 weeks of uninterrupted vacation time with my kids. 2 weeks! His was the previous 2 weeks. So, for the first week I tried to take the kids up camping for a few days. We had a great time and my dh helped so I could spent quality time with each one. Going great until I look up on day 2 while fishing on my little fishing boat with my daughter and see ex's car circling the docks and my campsite. Jerk drove over an hour just to track us down. I then spent the next 2 nights waking up in a panic around 3 am because I dreamt he was coming to get me - really fun.
then on to week 2. Hanging out with the kids and had a few days of relaxing and day fishing trips to another lake. Every dam day my ex called and asked the kids to go do something with him. Every day. I spent way too many years trying to make that man happy and jumping and running at his every whim so guess what? I have 3 teens that now do the same thing. So, for a couple of those days, son had to go help dad move. So much for us doing anything else. Then I said no a few times after having them ask me every day if dad could take them somewhere. I try and be nice so I rarely put my foot down but dang it this is beynd old. Then today the kids all left because ex called and asked the kids to go to dinner because his dad was in town. so, I just caved and said yes. But, Im just ticked. really? aside from his trying to constantly reduce his cs. constantly put us down to the kids - he will just never leave us alone. My autistic sons first word to my dh when he walked in tonight was "idiot". He just mirrors all the crap my ex says and it takes days for it to wear off.
Im to the point where I would just like to chew him out in an email. What is he going to do? show a judge how upset I am because he cant leave me alone? Im just sick of it. Should I send an email? what would you do?
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Filter the calls, and "just say no," unless the call/request is ok.
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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He doesnt mention any activities to us on the phone until he is talking to the kids, then he asks them. And we have always said ok unless it really didnt work with our schedule. Now lately it feels more like he is doing it to just be a pain. He hasnt called this much ever until it was my 2 week vacation period.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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"Ohhh, that's too bad.....IF ONLY you wanted extra time with the kids during the OTHER 50 weeks of the year, but THIS is our 2 weeks of vacation"
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Fishergirl
addict
Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469
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really finz? yeah thats how I am.
I let him pretty much take the kids anytime he asks. He just focused on asking every single day that was my scheduled 2 weeks of "uninterrupted " court ordered vacation time with the kids.
Im getting tired of being a doormat and just taking harrassment ALL the time just because Im divorced.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
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Then don't be a doormat. No one makes you a doormat, you have to lay down yourself to become one. Just get up.
The answer is no. It doesn't hurt. Just start practicing using it.
We were greedy with our one week vacation at the beach. BM called and wanted to come over two different days. I didn't feel bad telling her no. Don't feel bad or guilty saying no if you want to say no.
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Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7857
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Well, take your vacation out of state. I doubt he will follow you out of state if you are about a days drive away.
And, collect all the cell phones and turn them off - or leave them at home. As long as you have your phone, that is all ex needs - a way to contact you in an emergency.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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I wouldn't say jack to him - I doubt he cares.
I would take your 2 weeks - confiscate cell phones and only relay emergency calls. Its "family time" whether you are camping or having a stay-cation.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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