Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20193
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"By the way, if the father dies in a car accident this year, or secretly moves to Brazil, and she can't get by without his payments...then what? just a thought. I can't understand being dependent on anybody, especially an ex spouse. Too many people (women)are raised with the mentality of dependency. Way too many. "
My comment had nothing to do with dependency on anyone. Only that there are times when planning ahead by having an emergency fund still may not address all the issues.
You want to give speeches about women sitting around waiting for money to appear, maybe the OP does, maybe she doesn't. But your comment that a savings umbrella will keep you dry "regardless" of the weather is false. It helps, no doubt, but there will be times when it's still not enough... we don't know how much or little she prepared.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30386
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Frog and the scorpion. He is paying an an increased amount because he was willing to NOT pay. You are owed it, understand the frustration, not much more you can do with someone not willing to pay. My ex has a warrant out...took four YEARS of non payment to get to this point, and they will only arrest her if they stop her, she never goes anywhere, thus it grinds to a halt. I agree, check the status, has he changed companies, did they take it out, but because of the change in companies, the transfer paperwork takes a few weeks to go through. They may have taken it from his check, and sent it in with the paperwork. But if he is just late, well, pursue all avenues, but understand it is a long ride.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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igotthekids
recently joined
Reged: 08/12/11
Posts: 2
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Good luck my ex wife is always behind. I never could count on her then. So why would I count on her now.
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I gave up on american women
[censored]://girlswithmorals.com
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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It's possible that even if he is working for the same company that payroll is done out of the division he is at now, and not the one he was at previously. If that's the case it could be a matter of the paperwork just being a bit behind.
As others have pointed out this is a huge issue for you but in the grand scheme of things it's not that big a deal yet. My daughter's father works for a company who screws around with CS all the time. Some times I will get the payments bi-weekly as I am suppossed to and other times they wait until the last possible second to send in the full months worth of CS. They know there isn't anything that can be done as long as they aren't 6 weeks behind. They always manage to get it in under the wire.
In your case I wouldn't assume anything funny is going on quite yet. Yes, it's an inconvienience and yes your son deserves that money. It sounds like you'll receive it although a little late. As others have said don't count on that money. Consider it a bonus. That's what I do. Everything my daughter "needs" comes from my paycheck (or hers as she's 17 and has a part time job) when the CS comes it's extra.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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I read a poster where the CS was up to 30 days late on a consistant basis, and they were bouncing an average of 4 checks a month ($120 in fees at that time). I suggested they take out a $1000 cash advance and put it in checking and never touch it unless CS wasn't there, then if they had to spend out of it, to immediately replace it when CS arrives. That way they are always covered.
Or, just tighten the belt for a year and add $80 to their account for a year to get to the same point. It changes a crisis to an inconvenience.
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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[quote]we don't know how much or little she prepared. [/quote]
I'm assuming someone who can't afford school supplies for her own child is not in the financially prepared category. All custodial parents (at least in my state) have a responsibility to provide child support money themselves. Typically it's far less than the ncp contribution. But if you look at the CS calculation worksheet there are amounts for both cp and ncp to pay for the child. Difference is if the cp never pays towards the child, nobody knows because it's not tracked.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20193
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"Difference is if the cp never pays towards the child, nobody knows because it's not tracked."
Never? lmao
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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In my state, the NCP is required by statute to provide $X of dollars by child support, or face penalties of law if they don't (as with most, if not all). The CP does not have any requirement monitarily. If CS is enough to meet the bare minimum (or other forms of income) and keep CPS away, that's all that's required. If the CP contributes $0 or less than $0 (they spend the CS on themselves) there is no penalty.
Here's an example:
NCP makes $4K/month, CS paid is $1000.
CP makes $20,000/month, CS received is $1000.
CP spends $100 a month on child feeding them ramon, food shelf junk and goodwill clothes and nothing else.
In the eyes of CPS and CS folks, the above is perfectly acceptable.
Note that the above isn't typical, but with the laws the way they are, it is possible.
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LexieBelle
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/10
Posts: 3680
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[quote]"Difference is if the cp never pays towards the child, nobody knows because it's not tracked."
Never? lmao [/quote]
-------->> "Never" is probably extreme, but take ex's first wife. Her home is paid for by the 2nd baby daddy. Ex is now paying a little over $1000 a month in base child support. Kid's clothes come from boyfriend's other daughter's hand me downs. Mom works 2 days a week, if that.. when she's not vacationing here there and everywhere, typically now WITHOUT either of her children. She gets free medical through the state so the kids aren't costing her anything in that regard. I'd say EVERY dollar of their kid's basic needs? Paid by MEN (not necessarily kid's dad, since the baby daddy of child 2 isn't child 1's father). She's not accountable for jackshyt, to ANYBODY. I'm even willing to bet that she's getting federal funds for "supposedly" running a shelter. I'm 99.9999999% sure that's why she'll never let ex see a tax return.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30386
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The problem is that when ANYONE suggests that a CP be held accountable, they are CRUCIFIED. "It's SUCH a hard job...there is little reward...you have NO idea..." yadda yadda yadda.
But for a MISERABLE job, quite a few people fight AWFUL hard to GET that status.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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