gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"gr8 Dad...I understand what you are saying but I just don't feel that ADHD meds are the final answer."
So besides the meds, what other methods are you exploring for treatment?
"It still scares me that a parent is not worried more about the potential side effects than maybe having a rough evening."
See, you are STILL seeing this as Dad did it to make DAD'S life easier. Tell me, are you medicating the child to make YOUR life easier, or to make the CHILD'S life better?
"To me his father was VERY reckless with his VERY selfish behavior...."
Again, why is YOUR medication for the "child", while DAD trying medication is deemed selfish.
So, to answer once and for all, HAS Dad come to you or indicated to you that there has been a problem with the child during the evenings he spends with the child?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2006
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[quote]"Talk to the mother and stop acting like he's a doctor and prescribing a controlled substance to a minor child. Because that is exactly what he did when he gave his son the father's prescription medicine."
We do not know if he DID or DID NOT talk to Mom. And as I will address with her below, she STILL has not said if he did or did not talk with her.[/quote]
From her very first post:
"What I don't understand is why father never told me that he was having a hard time with son and maybe was concerned about his current dose. It has been the summer time and so the meds are not as obvious as they are during the school year."
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Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2006
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[quote]"He has no idea how the controlled substance that he illegally prescribed for his son will interact with other medications the child is taking. He is not a doctor and should not have acted like he was one."
Actually, if he is prescribed the meds, he may very well know what the interactions are. Tell me you know that doctors don't MEMORIZE all drug interactions, they use reference material, available all of us.[/quote]
We are not talking about an adult here. We are talking about a CHILD here. The father ISN'T a doctor and had no business at all prescribing medication to the child. And that is just what he did, acted like a doctor and prescribed a controlled substance.
You aren't going to get around that no matter how hard you try. The father IS 100% wrong to have done what he did and can get into a whole lot of legal trouble for acting like a doctor with a controlled substance.
You said:
Again, we don't KNOW that he DIDN'T speak to her.
My response:
Again? You really should have read the very first post in this thread.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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I have to add something here. First of all, apparently I missed it, you seem to indicate that he HASN'T spoken to you about the problem, but if you could verify that, I would appreciate it.
Now I want you to consider something. You wrote:
"I have sole legal custody and any medical changes and concerns need to come by me first. But besides that...what happened to co-parenting?"
Can you see how this line indicates dual expectations? You are, on one hand, telling him that YOU have SOLE and FINAL say in ALL things...and then asking why HE can't "co-parent". Essentially, you are saying HE won't co-parent, because he won't give YOU all the control. One person having sole say in everything is NOT co-parenting. As a matter of fact, that is the OPPOSITE of co-parenting. If you want him to be onboard with the decisions regarding the child, you have to admit that he is the child's parent just as much as you are, and should have some say.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"We are not talking about an adult here. We are talking about a CHILD here."
I was talking about the DAD being knowledgeable about medicine interactions. If he is prescribed Ritlin, he PROBABLY has adult ADD or adult ADHD, and could VERY WELL be quite knowledgeable about the interactions.
"And that is just what he did, acted like a doctor and prescribed a controlled substance."
No, he gave the kid a PILL. Jesus, he didn't give him a BOTTLE, he gave the kid the SMALLEST POSSIBLE DOSAGE of a COMMONLY prescribed medication for children as a bumper for rough evenings.
"Again? You really should have read the very first post in this thread."
As I wrote in my last post to her, I did miss that. She vaguely indicated that she was unaware of the issues. Hopefully she can clarify it. But she ALSO made it clear that SHE had control (a common misconception with parents that have sole legal/physical custody). Hopefully these things can be clarified.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
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"Again, why is YOUR medication for the "child", while DAD trying medication is deemed selfish."
----->Because the only meds the child needs to be taking are ones prescribed by his doctor.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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Dad CAN'T take the child to the doctor, she has made THAT perfectly clear. So what is Dad to do?
Place yourself in his shoes. He has a child with a DIAGNOSED condition, he is diagnosed with a VERY similar condition, he has NO say in the treatment, and apparently, Mom is not concerned about anything but how it affects HER time (now I COULD be wrong on this, I have asked a number of times and gotten no response, so if he IS involved in the treatment plan, that would change things). What would YOU do?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
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Having some say doesn't equate to administering his own prescription to his minor child. Let’s just suppose that most parents don’t know jack about prescribing meds. LB is comfortable doing it, but if her ExH took it upon himself to give her DD his own meds, she’d flip her lid. I think it boils down to what you are perceiving as control. Remember this is about the child.
“Mom is not concerned about anything but how it affects HER time”
----->Not sure where you got that from?
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30195
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"Let’s just suppose that most parents don’t know jack about prescribing meds. LB is comfortable doing it, but if her ExH took it upon himself to give her DD his own meds, she’d flip her lid."
But we are not talking abotu MOST parents, we are talking about a parent that has the SAME CONDITION, and he didn't FIND the medicine, its HIS medication.
"Remember this is about the child."
Really? Cause that is what I thought, but apparently this is MOSTLY about BLAME, and pointing the finger at Dad.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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[quote]Dad CAN'T take the child to the doctor, she has made THAT perfectly clear. So what is Dad to do?
Place yourself in his shoes. He has a child with a DIAGNOSED condition, he is diagnosed with a VERY similar condition, he has NO say in the treatment, and apparently, Mom is not concerned about anything but how it affects HER time (now I COULD be wrong on this, I have asked a number of times and gotten no response, so if he IS involved in the treatment plan, that would change things). What would YOU do? [/quote]
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What I wouldn't do is medicate my child with a prescription med that was NOT prescribed for him.
This is a NON EMERGENCY situation. Plenty of time to discuss concerns with ex. If ex refused to discuss and/or address the issue with a doctor, I would ask the courts to force the issue on addressing the problem with a medical profession.
Especially if I had an antagonistic relationship with an ex who had sole legal custody and who was apprehensive about ADHD meds in general, I would never be stupid enough to give her proof of my poor judgement.
There are soooo many levels of idiocy in what he did.....
in no particular order.....
1. don't give ex proof of his poor judgement
2. don't give his kid a prescription med without a doctor's order. Yes, I totally understand Ritalin is similar to what the kid is already taking, so the expected risks are less than with a different type of meds. The doctor may very well have ordered this med for the child. The risk of an adverse effect would be the same, but the risk of liability in giving it to him without a doctor's order are HUGE. A serious adverse effect means you've just poisoned your own kid.
3. don't share prescription meds
4. especially don't share schedule II meds
5. don't teach your kids to take other people's meds
6. don't teach your kids to take schedule II controlled substances that weren't prescribed for them.
7. don't expect to COMMITT A CRIME and have there be no repurcussions.
8. don't let a history of poor communication with an ex prevent you from trying to work on an issue that concerns the kids.
9. take your own damn Ritalin, as ordered, and then maybe you won't be impulsive enough to think this was a good plan.
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