KristinH82
recently joined
Reged: 10/17/11
Posts: 10
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Hi everyone...
Thought I would introduce myself as I am new to this site/forum. I was in an abusive marriage and finally our divorce is finalized.
After multiple orders of protection, multiple violations to those orders, and finally another violation about a month ago, my ex h. is going to jail (finally)(and thank god).
As it stands we have joint legal custody of our son, however he lives with me and as of today, his father hasn't seen him in over a month.
It's been a rocky road to say the least, but well worth it for the sake of my son having a peaceful and happy childhood- and also for my safety. I'm sure I'll have a million questions for you guys- and would love to hear from some of you who were in violent marriages and how things are going now.
Questions that I have for you all:
1) when he gets out of jail, he will be on probation for three years. when he is IN jail (he is out on bail now but the DA is taking this to grand jury next week and we will proceed to trial if need be if he will not plead guilty beforehand), will I be granted sole custody by the judge (its all wrapped into one court now- IDV - integrated domestic violence court, which takes care of marital action, domestic violence action, family court matters, and criminal based on the DV action)?
2)how long does the abuse carry on for? is this something i will deal with for the rest of my life?
3) what are some steps you've taken to keep yourselves safe- i.e. currently i just had a security system installed, dog, and now I am starting Krav Maga classes this week. I sleep with my keys, wallet, cell phone, and back up cell phone next to my bed along with an "emergency bag" if i have to flee with my son quickly. Also I have a "safe word" that i can text or call to my friends/family if i need them to call the police for me. What else can I do to stay safe?
It's all very overwhelming. Thanks if you made it this far. :)
Kristin
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