Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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There are problems with having him stay in the house ith the kids and pay rent too. We have yet to hear his response, but if he starts tinkering with the proposal I would agree to half the equity in the house, shanti stay in the house with kids until it sells, joint physical custody with shanti as cp, husband takes all the debt and keeps the pension, and pays cs.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
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Shanti - I would shoot for elliesmom's proposal, but accept Renny's at a bare minimum. If he balks at you staying in the house until it sells because of this economy, I would include language in the order that specifically outlines what steps you two will take in the event the house doesn't sell for a prolonged period.
Example: House doesn't sell by x# mos after divorce agreement price is dropped by x$. House still doesn't sell by x# mos, price is dropped by an addl x$. House doesn't sell by an addl x# mos both parties agree to take action that includes a)A, b)B and c)C. Shanti agrees to keep home in clean and presentable condition for prospective buyers and notify Huband of needed repairs within 48 hours. Cost of repairs to be paid by H in advance of sale and 1/2 cost to be deducted from an equity paid to Shanti. Purchase offers presented within 5% of asking price shall be accepted, offers exceeding a 5% differential will be countered by at least half the amount of the difference added to the buyers offer. (ie you list at 450k, offer is for 350k for a diff of 100k, you and H counter with a min of 400k.)
The reason I put this in here, and the numbers are totally hypothetical, is because the sale of a home can throw a huge wrench into a divorce. Usually at least one person is stuck having their name on a house when they don't want it there, and that leaves them at the mercy of their X to affect their credit. Other things like if the house is not kept in good repair and presentable that also can aggravate attempts to sell, or say one spouse finds an offer acceptable that another spouse doesn't for whatever reason, can also cause issues.
However you word it is up to you, what you're willing to deal with or wait on is between you and him. Think about it beforehand though and spell.it.out. Vaguely worded orders can cause you (and him) a LOT of grief down the road.
Always be specific. Always ask for at least a minimum of what you will accept. That'll give you a starting point to negotiate from.
Edited by javajunkiee (11/05/11 02:35 PM)
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7136
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My only reason is that it would will free you up from child support payments and you can write off the 3 kids on the exemptions for taxes purposes. Not having to pay alimony, child support or credit card debts should free you up of some money.
You realize you'll have to pay CS if he has custody, right?
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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She doesn't work. CS in my state would be the minimum, which in my state is $50/month.
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Shanti
newbie
Reged: 10/29/11
Posts: 36
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Ok. I got his response. I need your advice on what to do. When you read his response keep in mind that his first agreement asked me to pay for half the business debts (150k) and half the boat (200k). I was advised to ask to see the document proving that it was indeed his business, he couldn't provide one so he removed the business debts from the agreement. I am point this out so you can read with a grain of salt the fairness that he is saying he will be. Also keep in mind that I filled in May and he has refused to leave the house, so I continue to cook for him, iron his clothes e.t.c
He won't move out and I don't have a dime to move out.
Here his response:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am not prepared to relinquish my entire half of the ownership of the house. I am however willing to negotiate the equitable distribution of the house.
Did you consult with an attorney in regards to your proposal? The reason I ask is I am not sure about relinquishing alimony or child support will fly with the judge and I want to make sure what we give him, he will accept. Your proposal didn't mention how much you expected to receive in rent for the house. If it's something I can't afford, then it wouldn't work anyway. You also have to consider that money you receive from rent you will have to pay tax on as income. I am pretty sure we are not going to be able to withdraw money from the retirement fund without paying a penalty and either way we will have to pay income tax on it.
I think it's important to have 50/50 custody, especially for Stephanie. We will have to consider ESS anyway if you get a job.
Here is a link to a child support/alimony calculator:
[censored]://[censored].cadivorce.com/tools-resources/child-spousal-support-calculator/
I want to be fair and I know you want to include a lot more in my income than what shows on my weekly paycheck. Please use this calculator and see if you can come up with an amount that you are satisfied with. I am in a very tenuous situation right now financially but I will be fair.
I did not present your proposal to my attorney because each time I do it will cost money and I want to make sure whatever I provide her is something we both can agree on.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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He sounds pretty smart; considering how stupid he seems to be based on the information and decisions you've previously provided.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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So, how much is the proposal from the calculator?
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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"I am not prepared to relinquish my entire half of the ownership of the house. I am however willing to negotiate the equitable distribution of the house."
Sounds reasonable.
"The reason I ask is I am not sure about relinquishing alimony or child support will fly with the judge and I want to make sure what we give him, he will accept."
A VERY valid point. If he gives up X or Y in exchange for alimony or child support, and then the judge ORDERS alimony, he gets screwed (which, honestly, I think you are trying to do anyway)
"Your proposal didn't mention how much you expected to receive in rent for the house. If it's something I can't afford, then it wouldn't work anyway."
Another reasonable request. You want him to agree to give you CONCRETE items and amounts, while you offer possibly illegal transactions and VAGUE rental amounts.
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Shanti, you can't waive cs. It's the kids right, not yours. So any agreementbwill have to have a specific figure for cs produced by the calculator. I guess he didn't understand that you would be paying him cs if you are the ncp. Just as well, because that didn't sound like a good idea.
He also is not willing to give you all the interest in the house. Fine. The house will hav to be sold. But meanwhile, you stay in the house with the kids and he pays cs. Whe the house sells, he gets 25% of the proceeds. Plus he takes all the debt and youbrelinquish any claim to his pension.
This is all agreed upfront. The judge will not impose alimony if it's not in the agreement. But the judge must order cs in accordance with the guidelines.
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Shanti
newbie
Reged: 10/29/11
Posts: 36
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He didn't give me a counter proposal so I have to come up with one. I was able to look the boat documentations. It is all in his name and I didn't sign anything. Really bummer that in USA a bank will loan that kind of money and not ask for the wife's signature. Really unfair. I also noticed that his business is not in the documentation. So his business just pays for it and doesn't own it in any way. My question is: Would a judge take into consideration if I tell him that my stbx always claimed that this yacht is a second office for the business. He keeps track of documentation to show that the yacht is a second office in case the IRS questions it. Even the name of the boat is his business. He is a land surveyor and the name of the boat is Port Surveyor...you know...if it were a family boat it would have his wife's name not a business name.
Renny, I am not going to wave cs. I gave up on the idea. I wonder if judge would even give him 50x50 when he works 52 hours a week and won't take time off no matter what. Last time he took a two week vacation was in 2006 and no vacation sense then.
Why do you say he gets 25%? He didn't say what is the amount he would grant me and in exchange for what.
I also need to know how can a get him to move out while we are dealing with this. I had a fight last night in front of the kids when I said I want my inheritance back because I used all of them with in the family and he said it is
not" his issue how I chose to use my money" .
He can live on the 2 bed/2 bath yacht while we sort this out. Where can I fill a paper asking him out of the house without using an attorney for this?
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