elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
|
|
In general I would agree. It would be nice if both parents could sit down together and participate in a frickin birthday party for their kid. Is the kid going to have two graduations, weddings, etc. too? But if you have to write it into a custody order to make it happen - it probably isn't going to go well.
Although I never even considered the idea that BM would invite DH to the kids birthday parties. The animosity was so great we were thrilled when he actually got to see them as ordered by the court. Let alone extra time. We carved out our own style of celebrating and dealt with it.
--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
|
c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1752
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
|
|
DS will definitely have 2 Graduation parties. What to do about the wedding -- hmmmm, don't know at this point. Everything else DS can have two of with no problem, but the wedding thing might be kind of sticky.
--------------------
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
|
elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
|
|
I realize you can have two parties - I meant the actual commencement exercises. I assume the school only holds one.
But it takes 2 to get along, and it just doesn't always happen. And when it doesn't you just have to make do with the cards you are dealt.
--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
|
youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
|
|
That's how ex's parents were...NEVER would be at the same event. When he and I married, he was 33 years old, and they'd been divorced 33 years..STILL would not attend the same event.
So, they missed out. We refused to have separate parties because of their inability to grow the hell up.
They missed: kids births, birthday parties, sporting events, celebrations, recital, etc. They both wouldn't even visit their kid in the hospital when he was near death because the other might be there.
Needless to say, ex has more to do with my grandparents than his own parents. All because they couldn't grow up.
|
elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
|
|
That is sad. No matter DH feels about BM - no way would he not see his grandkids (or kid in the hospital! WTF?!) just to avoid her. But in his case he probably just won't be invited to SDs.
--------------------
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
|
youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
|
|
We invited both...then they would both ask if the other would be there. We just refused to answer the question.
|
buckwheat
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 86
|
|
[quote]DDs birthday is next month. We have a custody order that says we alternate years planning her party, but that the other parent must be included in the celebration. This was put in the CO as a result of ex's attempt to exclude me from dd's b-day parties two out of the last three years (and the only reason he didn't the third year was because we were in trial for custody and he was trying to show that he had reformed his ways). This year is ex's turn to plan. I asked him if he was planning something, and he said he hadn't made any plans yet. DD tells me that she is having a slumber party at her dad's house. I understand that he doesn't want me in his home because we are clearly not on good terms (and I don't relish the idea of being in his home). I don't expect to spend the night there, but I would expect to be there for dinner, activities, cake.
How would you handle this? Should I just suck it up and let it go? I hate that dd's b-day turns into a huge drama every year, but I also hate being excluded from it. Her b-day is very special to me, and it kills me not to fully share in it with her. [/quote]
Heres a novel idea, have a seperate BD party and dont include the other, duh, I cant believe someone would even post this drivel.
Some of you mofos need to grow up, the decree says both of you have to be included at a birthday party!!! WTF lawyer would even put that in there.
Im laughing on this one
Good Luck at all your future birthdays Im sure they are fun!
|
Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
|
|
I think it's terrible when parents are so far removed from working together for their child that they have to have everything spelled out. This is NOT about your daughter, it's about adults having hurt feelings.
My x and I have 3 kids and have never had one issue regarding holidays, birthdays or parties. See, we do whatever is least stressful forthe kids. In the beginning it meant 2 separate parties or plans. Most parties do not take place on the child's actual birthday so what is the big deal. So he has a slumber party at dad's house, big deal. Plan a party for the following week at YOUR house. It doesn't have to be big, just your family and family friends coming over for cake. What kids doesn't want two parties.
I'm assuming you don't spend holiday's together so what is the big deal about a birthday party? IMO yes you should suck it up and just let her have the party. You are both going to miss certain things in her life. All of you will survive and if she doesn't remember it as being stressful or awkward she will have many more happy memories.
--------------------
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
|
Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2006
|
|
[quote]I hate separate parties. Hate them, hate them HATE them. [/quote]
You may hate them, but my kids love them. I do the kids only party, which has been limited to just a few of their friends. I no longer invite the whole class anymore. To be honest, both of my kids like the smaller parties better than when I did a big blowout. My ex then has a family party for his family. We would probably alternate the kid party if he lived closer. Instead, what we do is he takes the other kid. The one whose birthday it isn't gets one on one time with her Dad and the birthday kid gets to have a party with just their friends. Both kids love it that way.
|
Goodmom
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/17/07
Posts: 2006
|
|
[quote]DS will definitely have 2 Graduation parties. What to do about the wedding -- hmmmm, don't know at this point. Everything else DS can have two of with no problem, but the wedding thing might be kind of sticky. [/quote]
That is 100% up to the bride and groom. And you and your ex will have to suck it up and behave like adults.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
[Re: 
Edit
Reply
Quote
