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spellman8999
recently joined

Reged: 07/25/11
Posts: 1

we stay together for our children

#757278 - 07/25/11 12:58 PM

me and my wife don't love eachother. but we stay together because we have 2 beautiful children who need us, we have agreed to continue living in the same house and raise our kids, we don't want them growing up without their mother or father around. we know once they are 18 and heading off to college they won't need us as much. i worry though by us staying together it won't do our kids any good if they find out the truth about us lieing at a later age. i want them to know the truth but my wife disagrees. my family does not know, we pretend and its not easy. this may turn out worse than expected because we are faking interest to please others wishes.

any advice is appreciated. wish us the best!
i sell cars for a living
while she is a nurse
://[censored].norwoodhospital.com]norwood hospital
we work a lot while kids are with grandparents. ://[censored].westroxburymotors.com/index.php]Westroxbury Motors homepage

--------------------
i sell cars!
[censored].westroxburymotors.com
time is of the essence, love is a blessin

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Fishergirl
addict

Reged: 12/06/08
Posts: 469

Re: we stay together for our children

[Re: spellman8999]
#758776 - 08/06/11 03:39 PM

Get a divorce.

In the long run I think it is better for your kids to see you both in loving caring relationships than in a strained together for the sake of the kids marriage. Your kids wont grow up without a mother or a father unless one of you abandons them and if you both work together, that wont happen. Kids can sense tensions between husband and wife. Plus this is the relationship that they will mirror when they are older because that is what they will see from you - is that what you want your kids to see?

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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6458

Re: we stay together for our children

[Re: Fishergirl]
#759851 - 08/19/11 01:26 AM

Was that a call for help or spam ?

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Shanti
newbie

Reged: 10/29/11
Posts: 36

Re: we stay together for our children

[Re: finz]
#766884 - 11/05/11 02:30 PM

I can't say much because I am in the early stages of divorce. But my stbx and I were in the same situation as you for many years. Amicably sleeping in different rooms. Amicably raising the kids and not even our families knew that all of that was a facade. My kids are 9,16,17. It got to a point where I didn't want to live that lie anymore and filed for a divorce. I feel so happy, so free, so real that my kids notice a huge difference in me (not knowing the reason). My only regret is not doing it much sooner.
But again I don't know what my future will be...I just feel free from pretending a marriage that no longer existed. Pretending not only to my children and families but to myself.

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