ebc1680
recently joined
Reged: 11/09/11
Posts: 2
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State: NJ
- Married overseas in January 2004 but didnt stay together after marriage as she had no visa.
- wife came to US in March 2005 but left me within 6 months in Sept 2005 and went back to her country to her parents as she couldnt handle the culture change and was fed up with the lifestyle over here.
- wife was 3 months pregnant when she left in Sept 2005
- child born in foreign country in 2006
- after considering child's need, I decided to get wife and child to the US. So both came to US again in June 2008 (3 yrs after she left me).
- within 2 months, in August 2008, she slapped domestic violence and child abuse charges on me. Note that the child was just 2.5 yrs old
- domestic violence case was withdrawn by her so that ended.
- for child abuse charges, I was given PTI for 3 years, which will end in March 2012. One condition of PTI was no contact with mother and the kid. So since August 2008, when she put these charges on me, we have been living separately and I dont know where she lives.
- dyfs also pursued a separate case against me for child abuse and judge found me guilty and handed over child's legal and physical custody to mother. Before the judgement, I had 1 hr/week supervised visitation but after the case, I did not take visitation as child used to cry and wanted to come home to the family which was not possible due to the orders, so rather than having the child go through the torture, I gave up visitation.
- so due to no contact on PTI and order by dyfs judge, I have not seen my wife and kid since August 2008.
- have been paying child support regularly since the incident happened.
- in summary, though I was married in 2004, me and my wife have stayed together only for 7 months in all.
- note that my wife is very smart where she will cry in front of the judges or others to gain sympathy but as soon as she steps outside the courts, she would be all smiling as if saying - I can easily nail you.
Now I want to divorce my wife and get over with things. Reason I didnt divorce before as am very simple person and didnt have that much money to pay the lawyers. Hence I lost the dyfs matter as well, as I didnt had enough to pay the lawyer, and accepted whatever judgement they gave.
Q1. So need guidance on how can I proceed with Divorce in the state of NJ?
Q2. Since there is a no-contact order, how do I serve summons to her?
Q3. Given that she stayed only for 8 months, how much will be the approx alimony. I dont have any property nor have a job since past 3 years as whereever I go, my background check reveals my PTI and I dont get jobs.
Q4. Can anyone suggest any good attorney in NJ (should not be expensive as I cant afford much).
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Getting a divorce doesn't involve contact by you. You wouldnt be serving her papers personally and arrangements can be made to avoid contravening the RO if you have to be in court with her. Contact your local county bar association for lawyer referrals or, in your situation, try legal aid.
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ebc1680
recently joined
Reged: 11/09/11
Posts: 2
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Thanks for the response @Renny. I did approach legal aid in my county but I was refused as my wife had used their services during my DYFS trail. So they said they wont be able to represent me or provide me any assistance.
Have heard that one option is to publish the summons in some newspaper for 2-3 weeks. Not sure how correct this info is but question is which newspaper, what text to write.
Also I know my wife does not want to give divorce and wants to come back but I believe she crossed all limits by putting false charges on me just to show that she is capable of doing anything. So given that she would oppose, can I still get divorce and typically how long it takes (just so that am mentally prepared).
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Depending on where you live, the sheriff or a process server will serve her. Service by publication is used when you can't find her. Anyway, download the paperwork for a divorce from the superior court website and try to follow the instructions. Read all you can about getting a divorce at your library and online. Good luck.
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