chaznsc
newbie
Reged: 12/22/09
Posts: 43
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I have a 16 year old son who is causing me a great deal of grief. Over the last several months, the following has ocurred:
Out of school suspension for stealing money from another student.
· Arrest for pot possession. (SC DJJ case pending)
In school suspension for cutting numerous classes and leaving the school grounds.
A charge of petit larceny for stealing an iPod over the labor day weekend. (We go to Greenville Thursday to process paperwork; I requested charges be pursued) This one took me a month to figure out, but I eventually cracked it.
He’s all but stopped caring for his diabetes in regards to testing and maintaining a healthy sugar level.
His grades have all dropped to failing level
Anyhow, his mother is a piece of crap. I had to file for custody 6 years ago because of mental and physical abuse. He has been headed downhill for a couple of years, but its been a slow progression, and nothing I do seems to curtail his behavior. To help him catch up this summer, I paid over a grand for summer school for 3 classes. This is how he thanks me. He has broken my heart.
In 2011 I filed for child support since I needed the assistance financially. At that point, his Mom began filling my sons head with lies, etc. The behavior has only gotten worse over the last few weeks. Tonight, I received a call from the sheriffs department stating Kris was filing an abuse charge on ME! LOL, good lord, anyhow, the office saw thru the LIES and filed it as a problem teen report.
My question is this. If I am awarded child support and he decides to move-out and move in with her without her having legal custody, is child support still applicable to her? In South Carolina, strangely enough, kids can leave home at 17 without my permission, of course, I'm still responsible if he burns down someones house. Its crazy, but I have confirmed this with several agencies.
Im wondering if anyone else has faced such a troubling time and how it worked out for you.
Thanks,
Chaz_
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annieo
veteran
Reged: 07/07/10
Posts: 1410
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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"He’s all but stopped caring for his diabetes in regards to testing and maintaining a healthy sugar level."
If he is endangering his health you can maybe get him into somewhere to help with the other issues as well - some sort of behavioral hospital - my ss went to one when he was 12 that helped with some issues - the school set it up for us - it was a decent place that took good care of the kids - we did have excellent insurance at the time (both me and my husband) so we had very little out of pocket - we did pay for the airfare (we lived on a small island and he had to go to the mainland) and I took some time off and stayed in the area and went there to be involved in his care - just a thought
with the health issue you may be able to get his committed to a child psychiatric hospital - does he require insulin and is not taking care - he would be considered a danger to himself.
You probably need in-patient help for him at this age with these problems and the health issue and you said it has been bad for a few years - it would keep him out of jail and help him in several ways
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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I am in upstate sc. Is there a reason why you haven't done counseling? Marshal Pickens has a great teen program..... Who is your attorney. If I understand everything, since living with you he has been arrested 2x. How often does he see his mom? How is his arrests with you her fault? Yes at 17, he can move out and live anywhere he wants.....lovely sc law and yes, you are still responsible for him....I have a 16 year old and I know it sucks. What HS does he go to? Are you eastiside area, Berea, or southside?
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chaznsc
newbie
Reged: 12/22/09
Posts: 43
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@runwithscissors
We are and have been in counseling. ITs usuaully a BEAT DAD UP SESSION, but we have been doing it. My son has been arrested 3 times, once with mom, and now twice with me. Her fault? Well, I have a number of documented abuse sessions when he was living with her, which I wont go into here. She's fueling his range against me because of her hatred of me. Get over it woman, its been 10+ years since we divorced, let it go.
We are on the western side of SC.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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Has dss been involved in the abuse allegations? If so, did you have a GAL? At this point, the kid has to be held for his actions and it sounds like you are doing that. I would hire Porter and Rosenfeld ( if you can afford. Retainer is roughly 10k)...they are the best fathers rights attorney in the area.
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chaznsc
newbie
Reged: 12/22/09
Posts: 43
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@Runwith:
Im doing my very best to hold my son accountable, its just hard emotionally on everyone. DSS was not involved, the local sherrifs department was, and they called friday afternoon with the allegations he made. They determined from my information and from his statement that he was being untruthful and filed this as a "troubled child" report.
We are to a point financially where we have spent what we have. I've spent over 15k on this child between getting custody, counseling, and special learning programs for him. He is extremely bright, but we haven't been able to get grades above the passing mark for a while. This summer he passed the summer school courses and an online geometry course to get him caught up with his peers. He was extremely motivated, but when school started, he went back to his old ways.
I can sleep at night knowing I've done all I know to do, I wont sleep well knowing the issues he faces. He's broken my heart and my spirit.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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You said earlier there was abuse by mom, why wasn't dss contacted/involved.. you said it was documented, if so by whom. I am assuming you.... If GCSO was involved, by law they have to contact dss with abuse...I guess what I am saying is right now, all I see is allegations of abuse with nothing supporting it..... So, its moot.
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chaznsc
newbie
Reged: 12/22/09
Posts: 43
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The abuse was documented in my affidavit to the court, which she didn't fight when I sued for custody. She folded, and he was awarded to my custody. As for DSS, I called them on numerous occasions, and they failed to act each time in any way. I wasn't impressed with them, so I went thru the courts. It was a nerve wracking and expensive process but I felt it was what I had to do.
Anyhow, this thread has sort of spun out of control. I was wondering what would happen to a child support order or custody order if my son, in fact, moves out at 17 and moves in with her.
My son is simply looking for the parent who will give him the most freedom, and thats not me right now. He is to appear in court in December and again at a date I dont know about yet.
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 30199
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Why would him telling the board that she abused the child and it was documented be the pot calling the kettle black?
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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...
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