frustrated21
recently joined
Reged: 11/14/11
Posts: 4
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Please HELP!
I have been in the process of divorce for 21, yes, 21 months!!! My X and his parents started with my oldest daughter, now 14. They bashed me in front of her constantly, put me down, and told her many many lies, and twisted the truths to make me look bad. She unfortunately ate this up! She blames me for everything, even though she knew before I did, about her fathers affair. She hasn't spoken to me since July 2011. I am completely heart broken, she doesn't answer or return my calls, she doesn't answer my texts. She won't come to the door if I go over there. Now they - my X and his parents have turned their sights on my 10 year old son. He has told me some of the things they have been saying. How can I make this STOP? Is this a legal reason to get full custody? I don't know if I will ever get a relationship back with my daughter, how do I stop them from destroying my other two children? PLEASE, PLEASE help.
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Where is the 14 year old living? A 21 month marriage....is your husband the father of any of them (it sure doesn't sound like it).
What does your attorney say?
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frustrated21
recently joined
Reged: 11/14/11
Posts: 4
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No, a 21 month divorce! the marriage was 15 years. All 3 kids are his. She is staying with him because she has "disowned" me. My attorney told me I need to get a guardian. This was back in July. I said lets do it. Have yet to meet with the GAL. I've filled out all the paperwork, paid my half... I've seen glaciers that move faster than our court system. By the time the GAL gets around to meeting with me, at the rate he and his mother are going, none of my children will talk to me.
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buckwheat
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 86
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No you cant stop it and its not a legal reason to get custody.
Getting custdoy involves showing why being with you is in the best interest of the kids, not blameing the ex and his folks for everything.
Good Luck
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frustrated21
recently joined
Reged: 11/14/11
Posts: 4
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Really? There is nothing I can do? He is allowed to lie, twist truths and basically brainwash our children and there is nothing I can do? I've read about parental alienation syndrome...has anyone had any luck with this defense?
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Annie7676
old hand
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 862
Loc: NY
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Do you have custody of your other two children? If so, then maybe take them to counseling, to one that specializes in this type of family situation.
Hearing his mom being bashed/criticized by the Dad and his parents is NOT HEALTHY, even if the custodial parent is a real loser. Children cannot handle this tug of war and this evil behavior...the dislike that your X and his parents have towards you should not be used a a bartering tool with children.
Rather than focus on HOW TO FIGHT THEM, focus on providing your children with skills to be able to deal with this. Its awful for children to be in this situation between adults. The best interests of the children have to come first.
And the old saying Actions speak louder than words can also help.
Make all the time you are with your kids as wonderful as you can, they probably already know you are not that person anyway.
You also may need to seek legal advice.
Good luck.
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amir123
recently joined
Reged: 01/06/12
Posts: 1
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Yes dear, you should take help from the Police or government law.
Thanks
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chris madden bedding
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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Hoooray for your STBX. Children are simply pawns in the war of divorce, they MUST be sacrificed to win.
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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