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Reged: 08/03/11
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What's the ideal age to get married?
      #758420 - 08/03/11 11:08 AM

Hi there,
I'm 23 years old, and i do have a girlfriend aged 28. I love her very much and i'm planning to marry her. For your opinion, what's the ideal age for me to get married with her?

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: kim9988]
      #758428 - 08/03/11 12:03 PM

Dr Laura Schlessinger suggests knowing your prospective spouse for at LEAST 18 months. This give you time for the gloss to wear off and all your little habits come up that may be deal breakers.

When we are first dating or hanging out with each other we are ALWAYS on our best behaviour. We dress nicely and remember our 'table manners'. It is like a job interview albeit longer.

Make sure you are on the same page with things like children, religion/faith, careers goals (does she want to give up your corporate life in 20 yrs and buy a B & B in Sth Dakota) savings policy, housing style, parents and family (how will you deal with them/ is she attached at the hip to her mother or do you have a love/hate relationship with your sister).

Take time to be her best friend. No one else is allowed that roles except your spouse. You can't have your best friend and spouse being different people. In my world and from what I have seen it never works the other way.

If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem

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Reged: 09/27/11
Posts: 1
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: KiwiGirl]
      #763555 - 09/27/11 04:11 PM

Depends on how old you are and how mature both of you are. I recommend becoming friends first before getting married because you end up developing a solid foundation to build your marriage on.

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Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: kim9988]
      #764089 - 10/02/11 03:59 PM

Ideal age? 45. By then, most folks have evolved into "who they are." Most people at 45 are completely different from what they were at 23.

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Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: kim9988]
      #764894 - 10/14/11 12:22 PM

Find out WHY you want to get married ? Do YOU want it, or does SHE want it ? There is absolutely NO REASON to get married, when you can simply live together and have exactly the same thing as a marriage.

The difference is, when you live together, you BOTH have EQUAL legal rights to all your property together. When you marry, the woman gets a whole ton of rights she didn't have before, and the man LOSES a whole ton of his rights.

Marriage is a legal contract, which specifically limits your actions, and opens the door to a whole ton of possibilties for the female. I'd speak to a divorce lawyer.

Simple example, alimony is NEVER awarded after people living together split up...Marriage = alimony. Marriage is a promise you will financially support this woman for the rest of your life, living together, not so much. Marriage means someday, you might have to face the threat of alimony payment VERSUS how much parenting time you get with your children because parenting time means big-money in a divorce settlement. Non-Married people never face this choice.

Marriage means you are LEGALLY LIABLE FOR COLLEGE COST OF YOUR CHILDREN. Non-Married parents have no legal obligatin to pay for children's college.

Hopefully now you understand why so many women advocate in favor of marriage. Same reason so many white people think racism ain't much of a problem in America. Naturally, Blacks feel differently.

Always remember, it takes TWO people to get married, so SHE MUST GET YOUR CONSENT TO MARRY. But it only takes ONE person to get divorced.

"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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Reged: 10/09/11
Posts: 86
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: yregna]
      #764908 - 10/14/11 03:18 PM

Might Maggot Mouth Speaks Again!

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Reged: 11/28/05
Posts: 112
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: buckwheat]
      #768257 - 11/18/11 07:17 AM

I don't know if all that is correct. If you are living with someone for a while, and break up with them and you had a child with them, you can take the other parent to court for child support and probably half of the college expenses if they can afford it.

Marriage is a committment to be permanent. Living together is a committment to be temporary.

Only you can decide when you are really, truly, and completely finished dating around, partying around, and being foot loose and fancy free. Once you marry, you have another person to consider. If you are single and get a windfall of $1,000, you can spend it any way you day, new fishing pole, invest it, etc. Married, well, your spouse would probably want to be in the decision on what to do with it, and it may not be exactly what you wanted! Be sure you want to wake up with this person for the rest of your life.

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Reged: 05/12/12
Posts: 5
Loc: Ghana
Re: What's the ideal age to get married? [Re: Eve]
      #786725 - 06/12/12 01:33 PM

Depends on you basically. What is right for someone may not necessarily work for another. So like the other member have told you already, it depends on your maturity and preparedness.
You should be ready to marry before you enter into any serious relationship, otherwise just remain friends. If you decide to marry some one however, you should remember that
1. If you marry too early you will miss out on certain things in life (eg. your youth, your time of being single and free).
2. Consider the fact that people do not really change and so anything that you do not like about your beloved and therefore spouse, is also not likely to change.
3. Will you be in a position to manage financially?
4. Will you have a place to stay when you marry?
5. Racial or Tribal differences are going to affect your marriage.
6. Disparity in levels of education will also affect your marriage.

All these and others should be considered fully before you make that decision of a lifetime.

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