NYCPeter
recently joined
Reged: 11/19/11
Posts: 9
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I live in NY - we've been married 12 years.
W is 45 I am 47.
She has a degree but quit work when our oldest daughter was born. I never completed college - but have been lucky with my career to reach this position.
Two daughters.
D9 (has cerebral palsy and goes to special needs school) - will always need care and attention.
D6 - No issues or problems.
W has worked 3 nights a week in an upscale restaurant.
W has asked for divorce - I don't want one, but I have no choice - she doesn't love me anymore (I suspect infidelity).
I earn $155k a year - W earns about $16k a year.
I've offered her a 60/40 split of our assets (my 401k, +ive equity in house, her 401k - in her favor).
Standard child support (as per NY state guidelines).
$1k a month spousal support for 6 years).
This would be about 45% of my take home pay in CS and SS.
W wants $2k a month lifetime - which would take closer to 60% of take home pay.
I'd rather go through mediation than litigation if possible - Does anyone have an opinion on who is closer re: spousal support?
Thanks in advance
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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Only a NY attorney could give you an accurate dollar amount, but lifetime alimony on a 12 year marriage isn't going to happen, although $2K seems more reasonable. Is your spouse seeing someone else? This can be grounds for no alimony in NY. CS could be a problem...it could be forever with the disabled child, although SS could come into play.
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NYCPeter
recently joined
Reged: 11/19/11
Posts: 9
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Thanks for the reply.
She thinks she'll get lifetime alimony because of my daughter's disability.
Re: infidelity - there have been several clues but I have nothing concrete. She admitted to having feelings for someone but not acted on them.
I'm hoping to keep the SS to $1k by offering a 60/40 split of the assets (equity in house and the cash value of her 401k come to about $120k - the cash value of my 401k comes to $80k)
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Robert_Nowak
journeyman
Reged: 06/04/05
Posts: 54
Loc: Glen Head, NY
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I doubt that she will get lifetime support. Support is discretionery with the judge. Could be anywhere from 1K to 2K. and for 3 to 5 years Child support ends at 21 even for a disabled child. Why are you offering 60/40 split on assets. 50/50 is the norm.
Good luck
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Robert E. Nowak, Esq.
107 Northern Bvd.
Great Neck, NY 11021
516/487-8200
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NYCPeter
recently joined
Reged: 11/19/11
Posts: 9
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Thanks - does infidelity have any weight with spousal support in NY?
I'm offering 60/40 so that she can leave the alimonony at $1k rather than asking for more.
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javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3155
Loc: SC
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Does D qualify for SSD?
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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NYCPeter
recently joined
Reged: 11/19/11
Posts: 9
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Yes she does.
She'll get full benefits, and when she's 21 if we want they will put her in a group home with 24 hour assistance.
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Robert_Nowak
journeyman
Reged: 06/04/05
Posts: 54
Loc: Glen Head, NY
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Here are the factors a court will consider in awarding maintenance. A rather daunting statute. You will notice that misconduct is not a factor.
6. Post-divorce maintenance awards.
a. Except where the parties have entered into an agreement pursuant to subdivision three of this part providing for maintenance, in any matrimonial action the court may order maintenance in such amount as justice requires, having regard for the standard of living of the parties established during the marriage, whether the party in whose favor maintenance is granted lacks sufficient property and income to provide for his or her reasonable needs and whether the other party has sufficient property or income to provide for the reasonable needs of the other and the circumstances of the case and of the respective parties. Such order shall be effective as of the date of the application therefor, and any retroactive amount of maintenance due shall be paid in one sum or periodic sums, as the court shall direct, taking into account any amount of temporary maintenance which has been paid. In determining the amount and duration of maintenance the court shall consider:
(1) the income and property of the respective parties including marital property distributed pursuant to subdivision five of this part;
(2) the length of the marriage;
(3) the age and health of both parties;
(4) the present and future earning capacity of both parties;
(5) the need of one party to incur education or training expenses;
(6) the existence and duration of a pre-marital joint household or a pre-divorce separate household;
(7) acts by one party against another that have inhibited or continue to inhibit a party's earning capacity or ability to obtain meaningful employment. Such acts include but are not limited to acts of domestic violence as provided in section four hundred fifty-nine-a of the social services law;
(8) the ability of the party seeking maintenance to become self-supporting and, if applicable, the period of time and training necessary therefor;
(9) reduced or lost lifetime earning capacity of the party seeking maintenance as a result of having foregone or delayed education, training, employment, or career opportunities during the marriage;
(10) the presence of children of the marriage in the respective homes of the parties;
(11) the care of the children or stepchildren, disabled adult children or stepchildren, elderly parents or in-laws that has inhibited or continues to inhibit a party's earning capacity;
(12) the inability of one party to obtain meaningful employment due to age or absence from the workforce;
(13) the need to pay for exceptional additional expenses for the child/children, including but not limited to, schooling, day care and medical treatment;
(14) the tax consequences to each party;
(15) the equitable distribution of marital property;
(16) contributions and services of the party seeking maintenance as a spouse, parent, wage earner and homemaker, and to the career or career potential of the other party;
(17) the wasteful dissipation of marital property by either spouse;
(18) the transfer or encumbrance made in contemplation of a matrimonial action without fair consideration;
(19) the loss of health insurance benefits upon dissolution of the marriage, and the availability and cost of medical insurance for the parties; and
(20) any other factor which the court shall expressly find to be just
and proper.
b. In any decision made pursuant to this subdivision, the court shall set forth the factors it considered and the reasons for its decision and such may not be waived by either party or counsel.
c. The court may award permanent maintenance, but an award of maintenance shall terminate upon the death of either party or upon the recipient's valid or invalid marriage, or upon modification pursuant to paragraph b of subdivision nine of this part or section two hundred forty-eight of this chapter.
d. In any decision made pursuant to this subdivision the court shall, where appropriate, consider the effect of a barrier to remarriage, as defined in subdivision six of section two hundred fifty-three of this article, on the factors enumerated in paragraph a of this subdivision.
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Robert E. Nowak, Esq.
107 Northern Bvd.
Great Neck, NY 11021
516/487-8200
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hanzblinx
enthusiast
Reged: 08/13/10
Posts: 380
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Colorado does not apply, but I was married 12 years (ex never worked, not even part time) and she got 18 months alimony at $800/month. Our incomes were 0/100K our ages 31/33. She never collected the full 18 months due to her getting married to her BF whom she was pregnant with.
In conclusion your wife wont get lifetime alimony, she is kidding herself. And when she gets remarried, game over. If this case was in CO she'd get 1/4 to 1/3 marriage length max.
Edited by hanzblinx (11/21/11 10:05 AM)
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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I am surprised to hear Mr. Nowak say CS would end at 21 even with a disabled child. My brother, a NY'er was told that CS could be indefinite as he has a child whom is autistic.
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