barrelracen
recently joined
Reged: 11/21/11
Posts: 2
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Hello! I just found out that my kids' dad has moved back in with his ex-gf. While he was living with her before, I found out that there were a lot of things regarding our kids that were not ok. The kids rode long distances without carseats, were left unnatended with my 7 year old in charge, there was partying and drinking constantly. When he left her he said it was because they always fought and she didnt treat our kids right. I told him that if he got back together with her I would not allow the kids out there. He agreed that it was a bad situation and wouldnt happen again. He then got another gf who he moved in with. She was great. The kids were happy, safe etc. He has now moved back in with the ex. Our parenting plan allows him to have them every other weekend. I will not let them go out there. I want them to see their Dad, but not in that environment. I need to change the parenting plan but am not sure how to do it. I would appreciate any advice. What is the best way to handle this situation?
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DedicatedDad
veteran
Reged: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
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You need an attorney. If you withhold parenting time, you are in contempt of court and could lose custody. Every other weekend is the minimum amount of parenting time non-custodial parents get-the courts will not reduce it from where it's at.
Do you have documentation (police reports, arrests, ect.) about the drinking? If not, then he could say you are drunk all the time, and as hearsay, it will carry just as much weight.
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Renny
addict
Reged: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
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Basiclly what dd said. The procedure you are asking about is a petition for modification of custody, which will involve submitting evidence of the drinking, endangering the kids safety etc etc. I'm not optimistic about your chances of prevailing in court based on what you said. You might get him to agree in a consent order not to live with that bad news gf. But then there will be other gf or even wives who are bad news.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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Unfortunately you are in a situation that will not likely turn out well. With police reports you may possibly have a case but otherwise it's your word against his. I am sure that he agreed that it was a bad situation when he broke up with her but is he going to agree now that they are back together? He's going to want to see his children, he has the right to have them in his home and you can't legally keep them from going right now. If you do it could even cause you to lose custody if he chooses to go down that road. My advise is to take the legal road (or get him to agree in writting that they should not be in her home) and in the mean time keep your eyes and ears open to anything that isn't right.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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barrelracen
recently joined
Reged: 11/21/11
Posts: 2
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I was afraid it would just end up being a he said she said situation. I don't have any police reports personally, although she was recently in an accident where she was driving a dirt bike on the road, drunk, and ended up in the hopsital.I'm sure the police were involved. My kids weren't there but it is still scary. It's so frustrating. I don't want to keep my kids from their Dad at all, just from the situation......thanks for the advice.
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