Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20052
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"I do not see spankings as child abuse"
I didn't say you did, but there is a reason you don't spank sd and are concerned that bm would use it against you in court if you did.
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lizk0114
member
Reged: 03/22/11
Posts: 109
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Honestly though, even without that concern, I feel like it is not my place to. I honestly would be upset if my kids SM spanked them. That is one of the lines I feel a SP should not go, honestly. I know some that do go there with their SKs but I just cannot.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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But it is okay to tell your DH to spank the little girl? I don't see a difference, personally.
Be careful with spanking for every offense. I have a friend that spanked hi 5 year old. THe kid went to school and said Dad hit him. CPS was called. Dad had to move out of the house during the investigation.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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That's just your opinion. Spanking, while it shouldn't be used for everything under the sun, has a place and it works. There is a difference between hitting and spanking.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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I've spanked my kids right up until they are 11/12 years old.
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SRS
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/05/10
Posts: 2161
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...and that is just your opinion. We both have them and they aren't the same. It is okay. It really is.
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SweetLight
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 01/07/10
Posts: 2003
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“Honestly though, even without that concern, I feel like it is not my place to. I honestly would be upset if my kids SM spanked them. That is one of the lines I feel a SP should not go, honestly. I know some that do go there with their SKs but I just cannot.”
----->I also felt like it was not my place, or very wise. ;-) The discipline should be done by the biological parent. I cannot imagine the additional chaos that would have ensued had I even wanted to take on that role. No thanks! When my former stepdaughter insisted on misbehaving while in my care, my hands were tied as far as discipline goes, and her father was going to excuse the poor behavior? Then yes, she would be going to her brother’s soccer or karate practice to watch along with her Dad, rather than staying home with me. See #3 below & #7. ;-) I went to nearly every single extracurricular kid practice until I realized that was way too unreasonable, unrealistic, and way too Brady Bunch.
***Disclaimer*** No, I did not make-up or write "The Stepmother’s Bill Of Right’s", as was asked of me before when I posted this, lol. I just happen to agree with it, and it’s author, and can empathize with others in the same position.
Stepmother's Bill of Rights
1. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.
2. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.
3. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.
4. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.
5. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.
6. I will be consulted regarding all family financial
7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
8. I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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That is correct. I guess it was just the way you said it...and maybe it was just me, but I just felt you were looking down on her because she believes in spanking...like maybe you think it's abuse or something? Dunno...just the feeling I got.
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M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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I really like that, SL. I've never read it before! Thanks for posting =)
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